Just Some Things That Ran Through My Head While Reading Through Chapter SIXER Of The Book Of Bill - Blog Posts

Bill and Trust

He trusted humans, in his own way, he truly did. Trust looks different for him, compared to how we see it.

He genuinely grieves the loss of Ford's companionship. He spent time thinking about him at O'Sadley's. It was the closest he's ever been to loving another person.

He loved Ford. He'll never admit it.

Love looks different to scarred, untrusting people like him. It is a long, difficult journey full of trial and error. Where every mistake burns their being.

He sees himself as a monster. He blames himself for an accident. For burning his home. He lives the next trillion years running away from it.

He punishes himself by calling himself a monster: he internalizes that until he ultimately becomes one. He lets people villainize him, he both relishes and is deeply hurt by people antagonizing him. Especially people who he cares for. He reacts very poorly to Ford and the last human who picked up The Book of Bill.

Betrayal is a cycle that he just can't seem to free himself from. Which is funny, he's a TRIANGLE for Axo's sake! Vicious cycles of emotional, multidimensional, and time-transcendental (Is that a term?) trauma doesn't quite fit him!