‘I Think They Stole My Bones’ - Blog Posts

“babyyyy,” gojo whines, phone pressed to his face as you hear the crinkle of hospital-grade paper beneath him. “I think they stole my bones.”

“…your bones, satoru?”

“yes. the ones in my face. my jaw? gone. cheeks? hollow. I am but a shell of a man.”

he’s high as a kite, clearly. still in the dentist’s chair, judging by the background noise — also by how you can hear yaga not-so-quietly telling the nurse to sedate him, not the swelling.

“are you now?” you coo, smiling as you sink back into the couch. “how’s my brave little soldier?”

he pulls the phone back, and — oh. oh, he looks ridiculous. his hair’s flattened on one side, cheeks swollen, sunglasses crooked, and someone’s drawn a smiley face on the gauze tucked into his mouth.

“they took ‘em,” he says dramatically. “took my wisdoms. said I had too many.”

“you had four. that’s the normal amount.”

he blinks. “what if I needed those for kissing?”

“you don’t use wisdom teeth to kiss.”

“you don’t know that,” he says, with the conviction of a man who absolutely does not know. “also. can we get milkshakes?”

“did they say you could have one?”

“not right now,” he admits. “but I wanna watch you drink.” he squints at you through the camera, gaze slipping lower. perv. “you’re soooo good at it.”

“okay, ‘toru.”

he slumps further into the chair, wearing the softest, dopiest expression — like he just realized you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him. you are.

“‘m gonna marry you.”

“we’ll revisit that when you’re off those drugs.”

“we’re gonna have milkshake babies.”

“sure we are.”

he smiles, droopy and dazed. “I’ll always be in love with you, babe. even without my bones.”

“you still have your bones, satoru.”

“did you check?”

“I’m hanging up.”

you hear a rustle — followed by a loud thud.

“did you just fall out of the chair?”

a pause. then: “…no.”

you sigh, already slipping on your shoes.

“behave. I’m coming to get you.”

“bring a spoon,” he mumbles, “so you can feed me like a baby bird. and your face. miss your face.”

“you’re lucky you’re cute, satoru.”