Experience Tumblr like never before
I hope this isn’t rude, but can I add on to this?
Anon, I’m so fucking sorry that you’re dealing with this shit both online and offline. I can’t say much for what you’re going through at home- just know that it will pass, and one day you will be free of the people who are hurting you right now. It’s not your responsibility to educate them or justify your own existence; please just focus on keeping yourself safe and finding joy and gender euphoria where you can get it.
Online, we are obviously having a transandrophobia problem. It is rampant right now, yes, but the majority of the community does not hate trans men or transmascs. The hate I see all comes from a very vitriolic, hateful, and regrettably LOUD group of people. But this group is small. It may seem like they’re everywhere and everybody agrees with them, but nothing could be further from the truth. Hateful, angry people are more likely to leave comments and rude reblogs than the ones who sympathize, and this can make it seem like they outnumber those who care.
Most people are ignorant, not malicious. I’ve found that if you diplomatically and frankly describe what’s going on and what you’ve been through, they are usually understanding. Most trans people care more about solidarity than nitpicking or denying transmasc oppression. The invisibility of your community just means they usually need to be reminded that you’re here and you’re hurting too.
The ones that react poorly simply aren’t worth your time. My advice would be to block literally everyone who’s pissing on the concept of transandrophobia. Block ANYONE who gives you the slightest hint of negativity. And if this discourse is hurting you, you do not have to participate. The burden of defending the entire community should not fall on your shoulders, especially if you’re dealing with enough bullshit at home. Don’t feel obligated to speak to people who have dedicated their lives to misunderstanding you.
Curate your dash and fill it with good people and trans positivity. Unfollow anyone who’s putting upsetting shit on your dash, even if they’re on the same “side.” Much of your Tumblr experience is what you make it, and I think a lot of people on here would benefit from using it as place to find solidarity.
I’m honestly so exhausted. I want to keep fighting, because I know the trans community is worth fighting for, but being on tumblr doesn’t feel like the place for that anymore. I already have to face transandrophobia every single day from my mum, and coming onto tumblr just for people to tell me it isn’t real when I’m dealing with the very physical and mental affects of having my body controlled and harassed to ensure it remains “female” is making me want to scream. I know it’s real. I know it happens. I know how violent it is. How dare people try to tell me that what I’m dealing with is just me being in the wrong place at the wrong time, that the violent misogyny and transphobia is really just meant for other people, rather than a targeted attack against me being a trans man. I know that me being a trans man is the reason my mum treats me like this. She says she loves all women, trans and cis alike, but not men. Not me. She hates trans men. She calls them traitors, and confused, and weird. Right in front of my face. I know it’s targeted.
I feel like deleting my tumblr, but I’m all on my own and I don’t have a community to reach out to. Besides, I don’t wanna just be another statistic. Another trans person ran off the site that no one cares about, because it was the community that did it this time. I don’t get why people hate us. We’re all dealing with the same shit, but I just wanna talk about the stuff that’s specific to ME and MY life.
Idk man, I’m sorry for venting in your inbox. I’m just feeling hopeless right now. The trans community already has so few people in our corner anyway, so being a trans man feels like it’s just me and other trans guys against the world, except when those trans guys also decide to turn on us and call us theyfab trenders for not passing correctly. I’m fucking tired. We deserve better than this.
its us trans guys and our allies against the world ✊😔