HE IS SO PERFECT WHO SAID HE COULD - Blog Posts

Always Forever — Hajime Iwaizumi

summary: A lot can happen in a year, and you don’t understand that until you meet Iwaizumi.

warnings: timeskip! cursing, fluff to angst, no pronouns mentioned, I tried to make it as gender neutral as possible but if it doesn’t sound as such pls lmk, sexual content (only for a moment, oral lol), 16+ only pls, hope you enjoy it

genre: fluff & angst all in one (a pinch of smut)

word count: 2.7k

a/n: i had a dream abt the first month and it turned into a work that I spent too long working on lmao, hope you enjoy it <3

     It's August when you and Iwaizumi cross paths for the first time.

You've a scowl on your face as you walk to your university's office to file a complaint about your awful professor. He had said something too ignorant that pissed you off; seeing how Hajime visibly scoffed at the comment let you know you weren't the only one.

"Thanks," you mumble out when someone holds the door open for you. Your eyes meet those of Hajime's. His olive eyes gaze at you curiously, silently asking if you were doing the same as him.

You give him a soft frown, as if to say yes, and he offers one back.

After the two of you file your respective complaints, you part your separate ways, but not before you offer a nod — an understanding, an agreement, an alliance.

     It's September when you start to take notice at how Hajime towers over most people, what with his impressive stature, and how broad his shoulders are with muscular arms to match. He was tan and fit, and you decided that he was quite the eye-candy.

Still, you don't make a move on him, other than occasionally allowing yourself to appreciate a handsome man when you saw one. After all, Hajime just seems out of your league, if league's were a thing.

It's not that you think of yourself as the most revolting thing to have walked the earth (not all the time, at least), but it would be a lie to say you don't notice how your classmates gawk at Iwaizumi like a piece of meat.

     Not to mention that Hajime has an impressive resting bitch face.

     It seems as if all the notions you once heard — or believe yourself — about Hajime Iwaizumi become increasingly more important to you. In fact, anything dealing with him starts to stand out to you like a blinking red light.

Suddenly, it's as if the blinking red light shatters when he walks over to you one day after class and asks if he could borrow your notes.

It's October when find out Hajime, in all his buff, resting bitch face glory, is quite friendly. October consists of him making multiple appearances in the following weeks of your life.

     He starts walking you to your next class, having extra time himself. The two of you would talk about your days, your plans, your friends. You discover things about Hajime, like his love for volleyball and his best friends back in Japan and in Argentina.

You enjoy many aspects of Hajime Iwaizumi, from his sense of humor to his diction and spiky hair to even his way of cursing. He interests you so much that a large of part of you wants more than just silly comments about your professor.

     Sometimes he would even go as far as walking you back to your car, which had quickly become a part of your day that you looked forward to. The sun would set after your class, leaving the sky with an apricot hue and you with another opportunity to stare at the olive eyes that seemed to leave you absolutely scorched when met with yours.

How could you resist him?

Things between you only grow even further when he starts inviting you to places. The first had been with a group of friends to have dinner, and then it was just him and you going out for brunch.

The next thing you know, you and Hajime show up to a Halloween party in coordinating costumes as you try to find something to look at other than the blush on his face when someone asks how long the two of you have been dating.

It's November when Hajime kisses you outside your car. His lips are soft against yours. It's everything you hoped it would be, and before you can fall even further into him, he pulls away from you quickly.

"I'll be gone in a year." Hajime warns quietly, olive eyes gazing at you intently. His breath is warm against your skin, lips hovering over yours. "That's all we have."

     "That's all I need." you tell him and close the distance between you.

It's a decision made with haste, but one without regret. Perhaps you don't think all the factors of being with Hajime carefully enough, but all you know is that youve never wanted anything more than him.

It's December when you realize you how cold winter truly is. Maybe it's because spending the holiday as an adult is still foreign to you, or maybe it's because you've never felt an absence as strongly as you did Hajime's.

      You don't realize how much you adore him until he returns to Japan for the holiday to visit his family. It's an unwelcome feeling that follows you around for the next 3 weeks of his absence, and you understand that there would be a time when Hajime wouldn't come back to you.

Hajime and you have multiple phone calls through the following days. Most of them consist of one of you heading to bed and the other barely waking up. He calls you his own personal alarm clock when you call him one evening, which sends a giddy feeling your way as strange as it may sound.

It's January when you get Hajime to strip his clothes and jump into a freezing lake with you. Being with him is nice, exciting. Despite him being reliable, honest, and considerate, there's never a dull day with him.

He takes you out for breakfast at 4 in the morning just because he likes watching you try and fail at staying awake. He indulges your desire to pretend break-up at a store just to give the employees something to talk about.

You convince him to get a tattoo of Mickey Mouse at 8 in the morning after a long night of binge-watching Disney movies. You manage to get him to take one (1) anger management class out of spite of losing an argument.

     It's February when you figure out that his dominance doesn't waiver behind closed doors. Hajime, under all his polite and hardworking character, is a fucking menace who keeps you up all night to pull every ounce of pleasure from you.

Your sweet, considerate Hajime, who used to ask before even thinking of kissing you, who used to turn red at seeing your shirt ride up when you removed your sweater, uses his image as a humble man to hide the fact that he would take as much as he could get from you, take as much as you let him.

You find this out when one thing leads to another, and after a night of drinking Hajime's head is buried between your thighs like he was meant to be there. He's efficient and agonizingly slow, as if to savor the moment, to savor you. And, sometimes you have to beg him to move, to do something, anything.

“I like when you beg.” he says, leaving a kiss on the inside of your thigh. “You look pretty when you do.”

     It doesn't take long for him to adjust to your body, to know what gets you flustered and hot, what makes you squirm under him, what makes you scream his name.

     You didn't know it was humanly possible to feel so good, but it's not the first time Hajime seems to have defied your perception of reality.

It's March when you're on Cloud 9 where no one else can reach. Hajime and you are attached by the hip, always laughing at something — maybe at each other — or at the park feeding bread to ducks, or just anywhere with each other.

     Being with Hajime is still new for you. The feelings of euphoria you feel with him's something you've never experienced before. His way of talking, his way of walking, his way of sitting and studying makes you feel heavy.

You've never felt this way for someone. His presence consumes you. You feel like you won't be able to function without him. The thought of anyone with who can hold that much power over you scares the living shit out of you.

Your friends warn you that he's a bad influence, that you're better off without him in the end. Sometimes you think they're right, but even if Hajime isn't forever, you can't forgive yourself for passing by the opportunity to know him, to love him.

Even if Hajime is a bad influence on you, you don't care because you'll cherish anything he gives you — good or bad. And, after all, a year is all you have.

It's April when Hajime wags a finger in your face and says, "Hey, don't say I didn't warn you." He says it in retaliation of you losing at cup pong after he tells you he’s never lost a game, and certainly not in the way you take it initially.

You roll your eyes with a grin, not bothering to give a damn that you lost. You get to see his smile, after all. “How could I forget?" If he notices how the light in your eyes dims, the way your face falters the slightest, he doesn't mention it.

The truth is — how can you? How can you fail to recognize the dark feeling of him leaving you forever? It's in the agreement in bold letters. Hajime's departure from your life is as inevitable as the seasons changing.

It was probably a horrible idea to have ever even gotten involved with him, but you love him. God, you love him. And, if you absolutely had to get your heart crushed by someone, you choose Hajime Iwaizumi to do it.

You know he feels it, too. He kisses you fast now, hard and messy, meeting the corner of your lips instead. He kisses you like you're his only source of oxygen in outer space.

You can feel it in the way he fucks you, sloppy and erratic and rough. Snapping his hips into you, plowing into you like his life depends on it. Like it's the last time.

And, you can't help but think one day it will be.

It's May when reality sets in. Your relationship surpasses what it used to be, and it feels like you'll die if you aren't with Hajime, if you waste even a minute of your time left together.

Desperate. That's the word. You and Hajime become desperate, living off each other like addicts. It's like thinking the sun would stay forever when you know the moon is bound to return.

     You don't mind that the both of you are fighting a battle none of you will win. You don't care that you both look pathetic. Because you're in love with him.

You can't ask him to stay, and he can't ask you to go back with him. It's selfish to ask, and even more selfish to expect the answer you want to hear. Love makes people blind to reality, and neither of you have ever been an exception to that.

And, there's fights about it. About why a year together isn't enough. About how it would never be enough. About why he even considered giving you borrowed time when you would have to pay the price in the end.

Hajime's definitely the angrier of the two of you — he always has been. Though, his rage has never been directed toward you. It doesn't take long for the both of you to realize fighting is futile in some situations.

It's June when you throw Hajime a birthday party. It's nothing big, just a few of his friends and yours in your decorated apartment. You think you know him well enough, but that idea shatters when 3 people walk through your door.

Hanamaki, Mattsun, and Oikawa are unlike any other people you've met. You thought you and Hajime had fun banter, but after meeting his friends you question your ability.

They bring out a different side of Hajime, one where all he does is scold them, where he's red in the face, one you think he likes. It’s a side of him you can't help but laugh at.

"I’m glad they came." you tell him at 6 in the morning when all the guests have gone home, with the exception of the 3 idiots who take shelter camped out in your small, but homey, living room. “I like them.”

Hajime snorts, finally getting into your bed after the eventful day. You open your arms, and he wastes no time in finding his place on your chest, nestling into you. A perfect fit.

    "They're annoying. Don't even get me started."

You rub his back with a sleepy smile, taking notice of the shiver only you can pull out of him. "I think they're funny." you say to him. "I like their banter."

"Of course you do." Hajime chuckles, disguising his laughter with a scowl. You've gotten used to that habit of his. "Idiots can't help but band together, you know."

You laugh. "No wonder you're friends with them."

“Yeah, alright.” he scoffs sarcastically, admitting defeat. "I’d tell you to go to sleep, but that’s if you can.”

You quirk a brow and tilt your head to him. “What’s that mean?”

“Mattsun snores like there’s no tomorrow.” he replies causally, stifling a yawn.

“Must’ve picked it up from you.” you comment, earning a poke to your stomach in retaliation.

“If you manage to get some sleep, you’d better be ready for Hanamaki’s awful singing in the morning.” Hajime warns. He says it lovingly, and you think it’s the only way he knows how. “And, watch out for Shittykawa.”

You shut your eyes. “Why?”

“He’s a bitch in the mornings.”

It's July when Hajime spends the summer by your side, doing whatever the hell you feel like. Going to the park and reading books under a tree. Going to the beach to get sunburnt and buying ice cream after to compensate. Going to the library just to make out.

Conversation about what he would do back in Japan is a common topic. You welcome it with a sad smile. What else are you to do? Beg him to stay the last minute?

You cherish your time with Hajime. You always would. But, you won't hold him back. Not when he's meant for such greatness. The fall comes around again, just as you knew it would, just as you feared it would.

It's the day of his departure when you promise yourself you won't cry and make it worse than it has to be for him. You do exceptionally well, but when Hajime refuses to let you out of his arms, things become a whole lot harder.

     You try to burn the soft thumping of his heartbeat into your memory. You don't want to forget his touch, his smell, his laugh. You don't want to forget anything.

“Why didn’t you ask me to stay?” he murmurs against your head, rubbing your back in circles. There’s no malice in his voice when he asks, but your heart still aches at the sound.

“For the same reason you didn’t ask me to go.” you say, shutting your eyes as to not let your tears fall. “How could I ask more of you when you wasted your last year to be with me when you could’ve been somewhere else, anywhere else?”

He’s quiet a moment.

You think there’s nothing left to say. It’s never been a matter of what’s right or wrong, after all. Sometimes as much as you desperately want one, there’s no correct answer to things, and you’re okay with that.

He gave you what little time he had left, and you took it gratefully. Even if you would be left stranded in an airport with tears in your eyes and have to drive yourself back to the apartment where you had built so many memories with him, you would make that decision again and again and again if it meant you had him for even 10 minutes more.

Hajime calls your name, urging you to look at him.

You pull back slightly to gaze at him. “What is it?”

His lips meet yours. The kiss is different from the others. It’s gentle and soft and slow. His hand travels up your back, pressing you into his sculpted chest. It leaves your body feeling warm and your heart beating faster than before.

Hajime pulls back after some time, gazing at you with a soft smile and tears in his olive eyes. “I didn’t waste a thing.”

note: would’ve named it 365 days if it wasn’t for that shower & boat scene 😟