Bsd Nikolai - Blog Posts

Nikolai: *Finishes brutally murdering someone* And yet I still feel nothing. *Eye twitches*

Fyodor: *interviewing Nikolai* Where do you see yourself in five years?

Nikolai: At your funeral.

Sigma: *hiding a knife behind his back* Nikolai. Can you handle eight inches?

Nikolai: I mean I can take Fedya just fine.

Sigma: What?

Nikolai: Forget what I said!

Sigma: I wanted one thing in life. A place to call home. Instead I’m forced to live with a pigeon and his pet anemic rat.

Nikolai: You forgot the anemic rat is immortal.

Fyodor: The devil has a restraining order against me I guess.

Nikolai: I would kill you Fyodor. That’s how much I love you.

Fyodor: The term is “I would kill for you” Nikolai.

Nikolai: I know what I said *cocks gun*

Nikolai is the type to own a furby and just skin the bastard. Why? Because he wanted to. He would then leave the skinless monstrosity in someone’s room. (Probably Sigma’s) and just watch the poor victim panic as the furby begins speaking in a demonic voice.

Sigma: I lost Nikolai

Fyodor: He’s probably off thinking about how to kill me or is tormenting some innocent bystander.

Sigma: We need him on a leash.

Fyodor: He will use his ability to escape it or enjoy it too much.

Sigma: Probably enjoy being leashed if you’re holding it.

Nikolai: Don’t kink shame me

Sigma: *screams*

Sigma: Nikolai. Your lover is immortal and you only reincarnate when they stop thinking about you. One day you die and reincarnate. What is your first thought?

Nikolai: You forgot me Fedya?

Fyodor: why did you immediately assume I am your immortal lover?

Nikolai: *cuddling Sigma* this is the first time I got to be intimate with someone that didn’t run away from me. Even Dostoy has escaped my advances.

Sigma: UNTIE ME RIGHT NOW NIKOLAI!

Nikolai: Shush. You’re ruining the moment.

Sigma: Fyodor wants me to inform you, he does not want bloodshed inside the base.

Nikolai: Yes but did he say anything about outside?

Nikolai: FEDYA! Let’s go on a date! I have a few places we can go!

Fyodor: Not right now I’m busy contemplating my life-

Nikolai: *ignoring him* First we can go to that one theme park. Then have a nice stroll in the park. Then finally the morgue!

Fyodor: Why the morgue?

Nikolai: You’ll find out later~

Nikolai: I’m a lovable person. I’m great to be around. People say I light up their life.

Sigma: *in the other room* WHY IS THE KITCHEN ON FIRE?!

Person: Does your terrorist organization have an HR?

Sigma: We have an entire HR department for one man.

Nikolai: ….Is this because of last night?