On Day 5 Of A Migraine Get Me Out Of Here

painted for a whole hour today :3 it felt great.

im so exhausted now though.

i have so much art i need to get out of my brain its all stuck in there while i cant do any 😭😭😭😭😭

im being referred to multiple new specialists and being put on multiple new medications im so exhausted and im sick of not getting any answers and only short term relief

ITCHING to do stuff. ANYTHING lemme cook or clean or write or sew or draw anything please im so bored

hey all, originally this post used the term “deformed” and some people who were born with illnesses that have caused them to look different have asked me and other people to not use that word unless they have an illness that causes such. completely valid so i changed it.

i was not born with an illness that did that, however i have many medical issues that have lead to my body looking different to those around me. i do not know whether that makes me “valid” in using that term and i dont feel comfortable sharing my medical history to try and “prove” as such. so i will no longer be using that term online.

i also want to point out the OR in the first sentence of this post. i am bringing up two different occurrences here, and expanding on the disabled one.

love and kindness i am not offended by any of this 🩷

being unattractive or physically different/disabled DOES NOT equal being morally bad/evil. there is an atrocious amount of ableism that occurs when someone doesn’t look “normal.” and i am so fucking sick of it.

in media it is (almost) always the villains who are different/disabled. and media is a massive part of how people form their world views.

i want to mention arcane for example, because people seem to be confused about what good representation is. people praise the hell out of that show, and for good reason it has great things about it, but people told me it had good disabled representation. so i watched it. and while parts of the disabled representation is good.. almost all physically different/disabled characters are portrayed as bad/evil/villains at some point in their story (or all of it.) and then by the end of the show most of them are dead.

abled people i need you to understand that is not good representation. please look out for these tropes it happens ALL the time.

good representation includes different/disabled characters who are heroes and morally “good” too.

if you make all your villains physically different and none of them are heroes i hate you. i am so sick of this.

reminder that productivity doesnt equal worth because i am forgetting this at the moment

one of the worst parts for me about chronic illness is not having answers.

im a very logical and analytical person i love things to make sense i love patterns and reasons.

i have answers for pats of my health, and im so grateful for that, but the parts that i dont have answers for haunt me.

i think about it all the time. what if its not real and thats why theres no answer? what if im not explaining my symptoms right and thats why i havent had the right test that would give me the right answer.

i know logically that its a waste of time to think about, but i cant help it, i obsess over it. not understanding the world is one thing, but not understanding my own body? my own life? thats what gets me.

any other invisibly disabled people really struggle to use the disabled bathrooms 😭

if there is a queue i quite genuinely need to use it, but when other people leave the queue for the regular ones to use the disabled i have no idea if they are also invisibly disabled so i never like, interrupt and say i need it yk djshjd

i do wear my sunflower lanyard but random people in bathroom queues rarely know what that means

just pls if ur able bodied i understand it may be annoying to wait in the queue but if you dont need the disabled bathroom pls dont use it

idk its just a hard situation to navigate for me fnkdn

blog info 🌷🍯

hi my name is bee, welcome to my main blog! it’s basically my diary.

here i talk about my experience as a LSN disabled/chronically ill person! i am medically complex and have medical PTSD. i also talk about abuse and childhood trauma. if any of those topics trigger you this is your warning ♡

all about bee 💌

art blog + art tag

chronic illness/disability + life updates

mental health + diary

human rights

music

books + reviews + writing

fandoms 🍰

barbie ever after high marvel precure strawberry shortcake tangled winx club

Free Palestine.

ive come up with a 3rd webcomic idea fhjdj

i have not started any of them.

well they have characters and a rough storyline but.. thats it.

anyways maybe ill actually start one for real this year.

i have such beef with ethical and eco-friendly companies. WHERE IS THE COLOUR 😭😭 why does being eco mean it all has to be beige???? make it fun please i beg i dont want to be beige.