wwaaaeeeww yes please!!!
"Smiling at the person that doesn't like me."
-Cheer for babies/And The Kids
Tw: Self deprecating thoughts, mostly sfw just angsty, alcoholic/smoker nikto
Nikto didn't like you. At least thats what you thought. You couldn't see behind the mask. You couldn't see the countless nights he's pondered getting down on his knees and begging you to have him, to kill him or let him live he'd let you decide.
A sinner to a judge, endlessly skewed only to be brought underneath your presence.
He prays you'll save him, sometimes just the thought of you saves him.
You save him from countless nights of blackout drinking. Saving him from endless chain-smoking. Save him from ending it all.
Sometimes he understands it. How he was raised, maybe they had it too.
Maybe they were as sick in the head as he was.
Maybe then he'd understand it all.
Oh how he'd treat you to the finest things if he could. Restrained by his own pride. What a useless thing he was told to upkeep. Would pride have saved him from countless beatings? Would pride have saved him from poison poured into his brain from his ears and tongue?
Would pride let him have you?
He should throw it all away really. Just ignore his own life and thoughts to be your toy. Its a fate befitting for him, something new, recycled.
Strip himself nude and prostrate himself for your amusement.
What foolish thoughts.
But it was befitting for him.
Maybe he could live at your feet. Rediscover ways to feel, teaching an old dog new tricks.
Maybe he should just be normal and treat you to a dinner date. It would he normal, maybe not to him but maybe to you.
Drink a couple wine glasses and eat, a compromise between him and you.
It sounds nice in theory but could he handle all that? Maybe for you he could.
Become nice and sweet for you, something better for you yet still his own person.
Fuck, you were changing him into a person.
He should smile back when you smile at him.
if you see this, i will get back to you soon, stay safe, take care everyone
one more thing before i go to bed i want to make a niche account where i only draw bloody fanart of johnny cage
lord this year give me a nikto please, someone who matches my freak. i am fine being single but it's getting lonely honestly.
will you guys be alright with me posting price stuffs too?
good morning
Nikto has a receding hairline. I'm sorry I had to say it
having a crush on someone makes me want to take a step back and reconnect with nature man, please pray for me during this hard time
Nikto can feel that something inside you is hurt. As a man torn by the devastation of violence, he can sense it. Seeks out the wound like a bloodhound, your precious self sinking in on itself like a retreating tide. Making yourself smaller and smaller, till your presence is no bigger than a little mouse.
It crushes him.
The thought of someone being anything other than gentle with you boils his blood. He gets angsty and tense, feels the need to gather you up into his arms as if to shield you from shrapnel. He's felt pain and humiliation, and to think someone as soft and sweet as you suffering anything resembling that kind of treatment? It frustrates him.
Nikto will be gentle with you. They will be gentle with you. Your precious heart, made of cherry jam and sugar- so sweet, he'll lick the remains off his scarred thick fingers. Scarred lips tracing over your closed eyelids, rough fingertips seeping into your sides.
He catches you gazing solemnly at yourself in the bathroom mirror- standing in your underwear, getting ready to hop into the shower. Your dear face fallen and solemn, your eyes empty and tearful. As if you were somewhere miles away- somewhere he couldn't reach. The thought upset him.
"our love". He grunts into your neck with a soft appraise. A soft kiss- bite- lick. Fingertips graze your waist, and he seizes you there- as if catching you from falling, catching you from recoiling away, catching you before you run. A soft muttered comehere is uttered against your temple as he coaxes you to step upon his booted feet, lifting you a little as you timidly coil into him like a shelter. You're so close now- his chin nudging attentively against your forehead.
Fingertips drag softly up your body, up and up, to cradle over your heart. You fluster, skin prickling with warmth, but sink into him like quicksand.
"you are precious. You know this, yes?".
You blink. Lashes filled with tears, and a soft indistinguishable noise bordering on a whimper leaves your throat. At that he holds you tight, swallowing you up in his arms as if to hold you together.
You're not even sure what your breaking point was. A bad day, the thoughts and memories piling up, quickly drowning you like quicksand. Sinking lower and lower till you feel swallowed in isolation. You loathed how words could stick to you like that- how they tore you apart, making you feel too delicate for this world. Too delicate to live.
Nikto cradles your hands like eggshells, thick arms and shoulders swallowing you up like a shelter. His body heat and scent smothering you like a weighted blanket.
He's not delicate, little one. Let him be what catches you when you fall, the one who soaks up your tears with the hem of his sleeves. Let him know you're not alone in this world. You have him. All of him.
it happened again and again, i nap at midnight, i wake up at 9, no more time to do tasks and i keep letting myself nap
i keep lying to myself again and again about really finishing my tasks after a small nap at midnight
"Nikolai had shattered Yegerov's friend's skull with the wrench propped up against the wall nearby. The blood had spattered up his bare torso, matting his chest hair, stained the side of his face. Shirtless, with a buzzcut he hadn't worn since his time in the Russian Air Force, he looked every part the madman he had become."
From this fic by @on-a-lucky-tide
As you can see, the image staid with me.
Alternate versions ( No blood, Nik with hair, lineart) under "keep reading" ⬇️⬇️⬇️