Sie Sagen

& Space

Some might see me as a key

Some might feel me deeply 

Some might see me as the door

Some might meet my core

Some might perceive my essence

Some might hear my soul

_______________________________

Follow up / Twin poem to:

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Post by @yudzukii

💬 0  🔁 1  ❤️ 1 · Keys · Some might keep the keys I gave Some might feel their essence Some might remember what I said Some might feel the

Sometimes I wonder

How long it would take

For people to notice

If I'd went away

Weeks? Months? Years?

And the next thing

afterwards I wonder about

Is the how, the act

And how they'd react

When they'd find me

Laying lifeless in my bed

Like the husk that

I already am

Would they recognize me?

Would they understand?

The white-gold sunlight

Dances celebratory

Around the green leaves

I'm floating in

Your warm embrace

Dissolving in

Your loving gaze

I'm losing my sense

of time and space

As long as I remember

You were there

- For eternities

Trying

I'm trying my best

To keep on going

Stay true and remember

To learn and adapt

To Be honest and open

Towards you and myself

And when I'm exhausted

I'm trying to rest

I am strong enough

I can handle it

I can take care of myself

I am doing my best

And if I fail

I will stand up again

I can stand up for myself

I am lovable

I am loved

I am worthy

My feelings are valid

Brightly colored pictures

Move before my eyes

With no single reaction

Of my heart and my mind

Accompanying voices

I can't quite comprehend

My senses sense sensations

Which don't make any sense

Frozen tears

 on the windows 

  obfuscate the

Stone sculptures of pain

 in the garden 

  of withered roses

Dreadful nightmares

 haunt the

  dilapidated rooms

Bin ich so grundsätzlich falsch

Und unwert geliebt zu werden?

Ich sehne mich nach Nähe, Verbundenheit.

Ich schreib in die Leere, spreche mit mir selbst und komme immer wieder bei dem Schmerz an.

Es tut weh. 

Ich gehe auf die Menschen um mich herum zu aber ich komme nicht an sie heran oder sie weisen mich ab.

Es tut weh.

Ich versinke in Einsamkeit und Zweifel an mir selbst. Hasse mich selbst. Finde nicht heraus, was ich falsch gemacht habe, was ich tun kann, anders machen kann.

Es tut weh.

Manchmal gibt es kurze Momente, wo ich spüre, dass sich unsere Finger berühren  wenn ich meine Hand ausstrecke und dann gleiten sie auseinander oder ich kriege Angst vor dem Schmerz und mir selbst, dass ich zu es kaputt machen könnte und ziehe mich zurück.

Es tut weh.

I try to find myself

Feeling empty

Draw pictures

Curiously

Set them on fire

Furiously

Look at the ashes

In sadness

Start again from scratch