Okay, so I know that the ship I write for isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. But there are some scenes that don’t involve the ship that I’m really proud of and I think would appeal to a wider audience. So I’m going to start posting scenes that I really like with enough context for things to make sense.
For my regular followers and readers, this will be things that you’ve seen before.
Today’s sample!
Tech has a breakdown
The context:
In a world where Order 66 kind of happens, but Anakin doesn’t turn and starts an early rebellion with the clones, Omega is kidnapped by bounty hunters sent by the Empire in order to win Nala Se’s cooperation. The Bad Batch works with Anakin’s rebellion in the hopes of finding some clue of her whereabouts. They’ve found the bounty hunters who took Omega: Taja and Admani Desai, Togruta siblings who were lied to by Nala Se and have agreed to help the Batch find Omega. Tech especially has taken this badly, spending weeks pushing himself to his limit trying to crack the deeper Imperial codes in order to find Omega. Taja has formed a connection with Tech as they’ve worked together, empathizing with him as she has lost siblings as well. Crosshair has also never left the Batch.
That should be everything! I hope you enjoy!
Tech stared at the information on his datapad. He did not understand it. He needed to understand it. He tightened his grip on the datapad and tried to focus on each character one at a time.
It did not help that he could hear the others talk quietly on the other end of the ship. He would not be here if Hunter had not forbidden him from finding somewhere he could do his work in peace.
It took far too long for him to realize that the pad was telling him his latest attempt at cracking the Imperial's secrets was unsuccessful.
Tech swore.
Frustration and anger like he had rarely felt before consumed his chest. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he do this simple kriffing thing?
"Tech."
The rage he felt at himself redirected at the interruption.
"What is it?" Tech snapped.
"You need to take a break." Hunter said.
He and Wrecker had approached Tech.
"No." Tech said. "What I need is to succeed. I need to find a way to bypass their security."
Burning tears sprang to his eyes. He furiously dug the heel of his palm under his goggles to press them away.
"It needs to work." He mumbled. "I need it to work."
"Give me your data pad." Hunter said.
Tech pulled away from him.
"No." He said. "I can continue. I am fine."
"You're not." Hunter said. "You haven't slept or eaten in a rotation and you've barely gone to the fresher. Give me the data pad. That's an order."
Tech pulled it away from him.
“Come on, Tech.” Wrecker said, reaching for the pad. “Don’t-”
“If you touch this, I will destroy Lula.” Tech said. “If you cared for Omega a fraction of how you dote on that idiotic toy, we would not have lost her!”
Wrecker drew back as if punched. Shame mingled with Tech’s anger and frustration as he saw the wounded look in Wrecker’s eyes. Crosshair, Hunter, and Echo were staring at him. He could feel their disapproval. Crosshair opened his mouth and Tech knew he could not hear the words his brother would throw at him.
Tech tucked his datapad to his chest and fled.
The sunlight of Yavin IV blinded him momentarily. He hurried across the landing area and to the main temple. Surely there would be somewhere he could hide from his brothers' anger and censure.
He found himself in a cold, dark stone room. There was nothing in it save a few containers of spare equipment. Good. He could be alone here.
Tech held out his datapad with trembling hands. He still felt a pang when he saw the negative result there. He took a deep breath. He could do this. He had to.
The next six attempts were failures.
He was a failure.
Tech hurled the datapad at the wall. The crunch of the screen breaking made no dent in his miasma of emotions.
It wasn't working and he had hurt Wrecker and Omega was still out of reach-
The words ran over and over in his head, interrupted only by thoughts of worthless and failure.
Tech fell to his knees and curled in on himself. Shameful tears stung his eyes. For the first time since Omega was taken, for the first time since he was a child, Tech cried. He dug his fingernails into his arms as he sobbed. The pain was welcome.
The door opened and Tech cringed away from the light. There was no one that he wished to be the one to find him. The regs would be cruel and even worse, his brothers would attempt to help him.
He waited for the questions, the demands.
What are you doing?
Why are you in here?
Are you crying?
Come out of there.
None came. The door closed again, leaving Tech in the soothing darkness. There was no silhouette joining him in the room when he looked up.
Tech curled up again on the floor, trying to keep his mind away from what had pushed him to this state. He let it go blank, and the world seemed to disappear from around him.
Voices jolted Tech back to reality. He sat up, unsure of where he was. To his surprise, a blanket fell off of his shoulders. He looked around and slowly the memory of his breakdown came back to him.
But then- where did the blanket come from? If his brothers had found him, they would have taken him back to the Marauder. Tech became more confused as he picked up a ration bar and a canteen that had not been there before. He would have thought it was Omega if she were not gone. It was something she would do.
The voices outside sounded again and this time Tech could distinguish the words.
"Ma'am, I need you to stand aside now."
That was a trooper's voice.
"I'm under orders from Clone Force 99." A familiar, melodic voice said. "No one is to enter this room."
Taja?
Tech got to his feet. He hesitated, and then picked up his broken data pad from the floor.
"Uh huh." The trooper said. "Why don't I just comm Sergeant Hunter and see if that's true."
"That won't be necessary." Tech said, opening the door.
His ears had not deceived him. It was Taja standing as if on guard duty outside the closet door.
"She was doing me a favor. I needed some quiet for my research." Tech was surprised with how steady his voice was.
The clone trooper looked between the two of them before shrugging and moving on.
Tech wanted to speak the moment the guard was out of earshot, but found himself unable. The shame of the moment seemed to seep in. She had seen him at his lowest. Words seemed inconsequential in the wake of it.
The long moments dragged before he finally managed to speak.
"How did you know?" He asked.
He did not understand. She should have left him alone. Tech was sure that most of the individuals at the base would have done so, or, if they cared to, have gotten his brothers.
Taja's pale green eyes met his and he averted his gaze.
"My sister would have similar episodes." She said. "I assumed you did not need more stimulation.
Tech didn't know quite how to reply. He merely pressed his broken datapad to his chest.
"Thank you." He finally mumbled.
"I am glad to help." Taja replied.
Tech cleared his throat.
"I was unaware you and your brother had returned." He said.
Taja nodded.
"We have been in contact with some of the leaders of the Rebellion, concerning the increasing number of slavers in the galaxy." She said. "We have come to discuss the possibility of raiding a slave camp near here."
"And by some of the leaders, you mean General Skywalker." Tech said.
Taja smiled.
"Too clever by half." She said.
For the first time since Omega was taken, Tech felt a faint urge to smile.
That urge fled when a loud voice cracked through the air.
"Tech!"
Wrecker was barreling towards them. Taja took a step back as he drew near. He skidded to a stop in front of them, looking between them with his brow creased with worry. He lifted his hands, as if he wanted to grab Tech in a hug, which he probably did. Tech was glad that he abstained.
"You okay?" Wrecker asked. "It's been hours and we couldn't find you."
Tech felt some of his guilt return at Wrecker's concerned tone.
"I apologize." He muttered. "I did not intend-"
"It’s okay!" Wrecker said quickly. "I’m not mad, you know. Just worried."
He paused.
"We're all worried, Tech."
Tech looked down at the ground. His wretchedness that he had forgotten for a moment returned in full force.
"I do not understand." He finally said. "Omega is gone. How can you stand not doing anything?"
Wrecker looked again as if Tech had hit him and more guilt piled onto Tech.
"Cause I can't do anything." Wrecker said. He sounded close to tears. "I'm not smart like you. If I could help Omega by blowin' things up, or taking apart a bomb, or punching something, I would. But I can't."
"Then you understand that my work is of the utmost importance." Tech said. "I am the only one who can find her."
"Maybe." Wrecker said. "The Rebellion still might find somethin' out. But Tech, what would Omega say if she saw you doing this yourself?"
Tech knew exactly how she would react. Her eyes would go wide. He could hear her voice.
"Tech!" She would say.
And it would be all she needed to say.
"I miss her." Tech said.
"Me too." Wrecker said.
Tech became aware of Taja looking between them.
"If I may," She said. "I understand what you are going through. You hurt, you are angry. You feel that the hole in your heart will never be filled."
Tech blinked at her astute description of how he was feeling. Taja looked at him.
"It will not be this painful forever." She said. "But regardless, your sister is alive. There is hope."
"Yeah!" Wrecker said. "We're gonna find her and we're gonna bring her home, okay?"
Tech looked between Taja and Wrecker. For once, he felt no urge to contradict Wrecker or point out the probability.
"Okay." He said.
"I must go." Taja said. "Admani and I have our meeting."
Tech nodded to her. She smiled back. He liked it when she smiled.
"So, is she your girlfriend?" Wrecker whispered as Taja disappeared around a corner.
Tech frowned.
"That is not the nature of our relationship." He said.
Wrecker grinned in a way that Tech was not fond of.
"Uh huh." Wrecker said.
Tech shook his head.
Romance and partners were never something that Tech had considered. They were clones bred to fight a war. The things that other beings considered natural were not options for them. Even now, Tech had far more pressing matters than whether or not he had a partner. It was even difficult for him to conceptualize.
Though, when it came to potential mates, he could do far worse. She was pleasing to the eye, even with her disfigurement. Perhaps more so because of it. She stood with pride, as if challenging others to mention it.
He found her coloring aesthetically pleasing and her eyes striking. She was intelligent, worked well with him, and also seemed to understand how Tech's mind worked. And she cared about him, for whatever reason.
No, he doubted he could do better when it came to a possible partner.
He doubted she felt the same way. It was one thing to help him with his troubles and to be a good mission partner. It was quite another to consider Tech in a romantic light. Tech had no data on how partners he found attractive reacted to him. But he had a feeling that any testing would not end with the results he wanted.
Me, going over some older chapters that I’ve already posted: oh man, I did a great job with this OC! I really like them! What was I going to do with this character again?
Also me, remembering that I’m going to kill them: oh yeah
I finally worked up the courage to post my fics on Tumblr for Rexsoka week. I’ll be posting every day for each prompt. These will all be SFW, but I’ll let you know if there’s anything I think might be a problem.
Today’s is just a drabble. Some will be longer, but I don’t think any are shorter than this.
Here we go!
Day 1: Boredom
Rex had imagined the end of the war countless times. He had imagined cheering and shouts of joy. He'd imagined new lives for his brothers and change. He'd imagined rest.
It hadn't been any of that. Instead of cheering, his brothers had been silenced. Instead of new lives, the clones were worked until their usefulness ran out. Instead of rest, they had been given pain.
Rex tried not to dwell on any of that. He tried to focus on his life with the few brothers he had left on Seelos.
Unfortunately, that left him with another unexpected result of the end of the war: boredom.
"What's the matter, Rex?" Gregor asked cheerfully.
Rex looked up from his work on upgrading the cooling system; Seelos could get hot.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"You keep sighing over there." Wolffe said.
"I guess I'm a bit bored." Rex confessed.
"Bored?" Gregor asked. "How're you bored? You've been busy all day!"
"You manage to find the most to do out of the three of us." Wolffe said. "Just today you've recalibrated the steering, checked the legs, and now this."
Rex shrugged and refocused on his work. He was bored, there was no other way to describe it.
He had never been bored in the GAR, especially with Commander Tano around. She had made writing and reading reports enjoyable.
No, that was a lie. He had been bored, when she wasn't there. The time after she had left the Order had been wrought with boredom, but not at the level Rex felt now.
He wished being bored wasn't so painful. It was a gnawing at his heart, making him lie awake at night. He tried to relieve the symptoms by thinking of the Commander, but it always seemed to make it worse. Probably because he knew if she were here, things wouldn't be so dull.
If the Galaxy were free and he didn't have his brothers to look after, Rex would take a ship and just go. He'd probably go wherever Commander Tano was. Yes, that felt right.
But as it were, he had to learn to live with his boredom. That aching, tormenting boredom that felt like a piece of his heart was missing.
Yes, that was the word.
Boredom.
Check it out and my other on going Rexsoka fics on my A03!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/34125910/chapters/84903028
https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExecutiveCucumber/works
An excellent analysis on CX-2 and how his identity affects the narrative. It helps that it's very funny.
OH MY GOSH. OH MY GOSH!!!! THIS IS AMAZING!!! Thank you @apparentlyautistick for sharing your awesome art!!! (You've done Commander Jr's ears so perfectly!!!)
fanart of ExecutaveCucumber’s Across the Stars fic on Ao3 (absolutely you need to read it!!)
Obligatory disclaimer: I don’t speak for every other autistic person, and this post is based on my opinions, experiences, and feelings. Not all autistic viewers will feel the same way, and that is absolutely okay. I am also not claiming that Tech is 100% perfect representation or that we don’t need more diverse autistic representation in general. I am, however, saying that for me, he is overwhelmingly positive representation.
Tech is allowed to be a character and his autism isn’t made his only defining trait. Yes, Tech absolutely has autistic traits and they do come up in-text, but his character development focuses more on his journey from a regimented military life to life on the run with a young child. This isn’t the nine millionth “heartwarming” inspiration porn story about an autistic protagonist doing “normal people” things “in spite of their autism”, and that’s so refreshing to me.
Tech isn’t looked down upon by the narrative. He isn’t a caricature followed around by a laugh track like Sheldon Cooper, and the narrative doesn’t treat him as *~inspiring~* for just doing things that allistic characters do. The framing around him doesn’t feel like it’s designed to be a voyeuristic invitation for neurotypical viewers to laugh and gawk. Tech is just Some Guy, and it’s awesome.
Tech isn’t portrayed as a burden. Yes, his disability does sometimes make communication more difficult for him (see The Crossing), but the other characters aren’t shown ruminating about how things would just be so much easier if he weren’t around. He is instead portrayed as being an integral and capable part of the team.
Tech is allowed to be an adult. Autistic adults are often stereotyped as “eternal children”, but Tech isn’t given that kind of treatment at all. He takes on a parental role with Omega, and is shown having drinks, dating, piloting, and engaging in combat. The fact that he is the only member of his team to have a love interest is also huge, because autistic adults are often treated like non-sexual entities incapable of understanding romance.
Tech is caring. Yes, he can be sarcastic and a bit bitchy when he’s in a bad mood (and I love that for him), but he is shown to care deeply for his family. When you google “can autistic people…”, one of the autocomplete options is “can autistic people love”. People genuinely think that we are unable to love others, and Tech loving so fiercely on screen directly refutes that.
While Tech fits some autistic stereotypes, he subverts others. Yes, he’s an intelligent, tech-savvy man, but he also an outgoing and confident person. He doesn’t often belittle others for not being “smart enough” and is shown to be physically capable and strong. Yeah, he is a STEM oriented dude, but he doesn’t get the “scrawny mean, and insecure guy” baggage that often comes with these types of autistic characters. He’s also a person of color (albeit a whitewashed one), and the general stereotype is that autistic people are all little white boys.
Okay at this point, putting Crosshair in cold places has got to be thematic, right? They have to animate their visible breath and they could have had any climate. I bet Tantiss was uncomfortably cold too. LET MY MAN BE WARM.
Omega and Crosshair's sass is killing me and it's everything I could have ever wanted.
CROSSHAIR HAS A BASEBALL CAP
What really struck me about this episode is how much Omega is using her skills learned from Cid. Cid haunts this episode like Tech haunts the last three. It's really sad, actually.
CROSSHAIR BEING CALLED HER DAD
Omega: which one I have 5
Great parallels to their first mission with Cid.
Gall, I love how Crosshair trusts Omega.
I know that Crosshair is scared to meet up with the Batch, but my first reaction is that he's genuinely trying to prepare Omega for the possibility that they won't come.
WRECKER'S REUNION IS EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE ASKED FOR!!!!
Hunter's could have gone on a bit more, but that IS his first hug with her.
I totally understand that they couldn't wait for Echo but the poor man probably just got a text saying 'BRB getting Omega' and that's it. I really hope we see their reunion. And him. I miss him.
When Hemlock said that they could track the ship they took and then we saw the Marauder, I realized that Tech is still protecting them. The Marauder is a safe place and can't be tracked because of him. (And it will be great when he gets back BECAUSE HE IS ALIVE)
Hunter and Wrecker's reactions are so understandable, but it doesn't mean it can't hurt to see. We want them to see what we've seen, but they only know chip is removed, 'I'm staying with the Empire', and that he sent a message that led to Tech's fall. They don't even know that the chip was enhanced.
Not to say that they're blameless. They dropped the ball when he started manifesting symptoms. I think apologies on both sides could go a long way.
But in the end, aren't they all just victims of the Empire?
ALSO CROSSHAIR'S MUSICAL THEME. IT'S MY FAVORITE.
I DON'T WANNA WAIT A WEEK
A fantastic video going over the connections between Tech and CX-2. Prepare for sarcasm.
Back aboard the depression train!
Day 4: It Happened Once in a Dream:
The small home Ahsoka and Rex kept was quiet. It always was, but now the silence was oppressive. Ahsoka had to say something as Hera walked with her to Rex's room.
"Thank you for staying with him." She said.
"It was my pleasure." Hera said. "He's like family."
Ahsoka smiled a little. Rex had been practically adopted by the Ghost family for which Ahsoka was grateful. They had supported him while she was gone.
"How was Corvus?" Hera asked.
Ahsoka knew the true question. 'Is there news of Ezra?' Ahsoka hesitated. She didn't want to give Hera false hope.
"It might be something." Ahsoka admitted. "I'll ask Sabine to check it out with me."
Hera's eyes widened.
"Thank you, Ahsoka." She said.
"It's my pleasure." Ahsoka said. "I want to bring him home."
Then she was in front of Rex's door. The plain wood was daunting to her. Rex had deteriorated quickly after she had left for Corvus. She wasn't sure she wanted to see him in such a state.
"Go on." Hera said. "He's been waiting for you."
Ahsoka opened the door.
She had imagined Rex transformed into a skeletal, decrepit wretch. What she saw was just Rex, but a little thinner and paler than usual. A little more tired. He was sleeping peacefully in the neat bed.
"I hope he wakes up soon." Hera said. "He sleeps a lot these days."
"He'll wake for me." Ahsoka said.
"I'll- give you some privacy." Hera said, and left Ahsoka alone with Rex.
Ahsoka slowly approached his bedside. His face was placid. She hoped his nightmares had finally left him.
Ahsoka leaned down and pressed her lips to his head. His eyes flickered open as she pulled back. He smiled at her, eyes shining like they had twenty-eight years ago.
"'Soka." He said warmly.
He took her hand in both of his. His grip was weaker than it had ever been.
"Rex." Ahsoka said. "How are you?"
Rex chuckled.
"I'm hanging on." He said. His voice was soft. "I don't do much anymore. Hera and Jacen have been taking good care of me."
"What's the doctor saying?" Ahsoka asked.
Rex let out a long sigh.
"I'm just running out of steam, Ahsoka." He said. "Haven't been the same since the battle of Endor. And we weren't built to last long."
Fear bubbled in Ahsoka's chest. He spoke so casually of his death. Fitting for a soldier born to die.
"Isn't there anything they can do?" Ahsoka burst out. "Rex, you're only forty-one!"
"I don't feel it." Rex said with a smile. Then, seeing her face, squeezed her hand. "It's all right. I saw the end of the Empire. There's not much more I could wish for. And- I'll be with my brothers."
There was so much more Ahsoka could wish for, like a Rex who could stay by her side for years to come. A Rex who could give her what she had wanted since the Siege of Mandalore. Suddenly the words she'd kept in her heart for all the years couldn't stay silent any longer.
"I love you." She whispered.
Rex's eyes shimmered at her profession.
"I love you too, 'Soka." He said.
Ahsoka shook her head, unsure if he understood what she meant.
"No, Rex." She said. "I love you."
She leaned forward and kissed his lips for just a moment. He took a sharp breath.
"Like that." She said softly.
"Oh." Rex said. More tears threatened to overflow in his eyes. "Oh, Ahsoka."
He looked down at their entwined hands.
"I- I wanted that." He murmured. "For a long time, ever since the Siege of Mandalore."
Ahsoka felt a burning in her throat. She knew he had felt that way about her. The way he had acted during the siege and right after told all.
"If things were different-" Ahsoka said.
"If things were different." Rex agreed.
If things were different they could have had a life together. They could have stopped fighting. Rex could have lived a full life with her.
But because of the Empire, because of Palpatine, that life was forced to live only in their dreams.
Check it out and my ongoing Rexsoka fics on A03!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/34125910/chapters/85045030
https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExecutiveCucumber/works
Guys. I was going back and reading my first fic (not Star Wars related at all) and I have:
A brother of a six man found family sacrifices himself by falling from a vehicle to his presumed death. The leader of the group then has to tell the blonde smallest member of the group, and I QUOTE, "*name*, *other name* didn't make it." And all of this happened in an attempt to save another brother.
I keep somehow predicting the Bad Batch BEFORE I EVEN LIKED CLONES.
So if Tech comes back with a missing arm and PTSD, I officially am a witch and likely should be burned.
Notes may not be in order
At first I was a little disappointed that we didn't start immediately after the end of the last episode, but I think I prefer it. We can have the reunion any way we want now. It's possible that the writers thought that they would all just awkwardly and quietly get on the Marauder and fly off and they knew we would be disappointed by that. So they left it to us to imagine what happened next. I think that's also why they didn't show Crosshair finding out about Tech. For them, Crosshair might just stay silent, or disassociate or something and we wouldn't be satisfied. But now we get to imagine all kinds of angst for when that happened.
Oh, the contrast between Omega waking up on Pabu and on Tantiss. SHE DESERVES THIS SO MUCH.
Aww AZ really loves Omega.
Okay, but how did Crosshair accept the fruit? Did he say thank you? I NEED TO SEE CROSSHAIR BE AWKWARD AROUND NORMAL PEOPLE.
I honestly think Crosshair wants to train Omega as his replacement if he can't get over his hands.
Wrecker and Hunter just blatantly watching them is amazing.
MOM'S HOME
Crosshair's sass is everything to me in this episode.
I honestly think that Echo is the only one who really talks about Tech out loud because he's the only one of them who has experienced loss before. He knows how to handle it. The others...do not.
STOP MAKING CROSSHAIR GO TO COLD PLACES, ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT COLD PLACE TRAUMATIZED HIM
'Little brother' oh my gosh they are my everything.
I expected Crosshair to love Omega, but he ADORES her and I am here for it. I'm also here for the fury for when she is inevitably captured again.
Hunter, you are a butt. I still love you.
HIS ARMOR. YES. YES. YES.
'It still fits' it might not have because he was so skinny and that is devastating.
Oh my gosh Hunter and Crosshair's arguing is everything I could have wanted.
'Kill each other later' Echo I love you.
I love that Batcher is just a member of the Batch now. Also, Hunter, get your senses in order the dog is doing your job.
THE HELMETS. AAAAAAAAAGH.
Hunter: sees Crosshair tenderly arranging helmets
Also Hunter: this is unreasonably suspicious
TOOTHPICKS YES
HIS TREMBLING HAAAANDS
Ugh I love Crosshair and Hunter's fight so much. Crosshair isn't just pushing Hunter's buttons, he's legitimately angry that Hunter let Omega get captured and go through what she did. And then there's the beautiful subtext of 'you let Tech die.'
Crosshair and Batcher are best duo.
THE SNOW IS SO GORGEOUS
CROSSHAIR SOUNDS SO MUCH LIKE TECH HE EVEN SAYS 'OMEGA' THE SAME WAY.
This is their get-along-worm.
Wrecker hugging Crosshair and Hunter may be one of my favorite things ever.
'There's no blood.' I am requesting all fic writers to provide me with a plethora of fics featuring Hunter and Crosshair fighting to bloodshed, ranging from angst to the stupidest argument ever.
CROSSHAIR YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON YOU OPENED UP.
Okay after Hunter said he did things he regretted too I'm now convinced that he has committed so many war crimes in trying to find Omega. Wrecker has nightmares about it.
I can't remember where, but Crosshair's theme was played in the major key!!! LET HIM BE HAPPY
Crosshair is such a joy to watch this episode. This is who he is and it really contrasts with chipped Crosshair.
I miss Tech so much. I want to see him in this dynamic. I also want to see Crosshair and Phee's dynamic.
I mean this in the most complimentary way possible: this episode felt like a fanfiction. The focus on their interactions and emotions feels like something we'd get from a fic rather than Canon. And I love every moment of it.
I adore seasons 1 and 2, but there were definitely episodes I preferred over another. This season has been 10/10 for me so far. And once more I have to wait a FREAKING week for more.
Star Wars nerd, here to share her fics. Clone Wars era all the way baby. May or may not have had her expectations of men ruined by the clones.
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