Like As A Sauce????

batman wrote this

batman comic arcs are so mindlessly dark all the time. “the killing joke” “death in the family” “batman’s grave” how about “batman has a nice fucking day for once” huh? “batman chills the fuck out and spends some time with his kids” “batman and the relaxing picnic” “batman has a really good cup of tea and its not poisoned or drugged because he’s been stressed lately” huh???? what about that, assholes.

absolutely love it when a man has a shadow. that's my opaque king

therapist: cunt dracula is not real and cannot fuck you.

cunt dracula:

Pronouns are peepee/poopoo and you will address the queen as such

the spatula is perhaps the only, and dare i say the best instrument conceived by humanity. the wheel doesn't even come close

now, i know you need to know how to use this. it's very simple.

woman: *expresses interest in a male, a certain type of food, or activity*

you: are straight girls okay???

alternatively-

woman:* partakes in an activity or a tradition that poses a threat to no one, and harms nobody's feelings*

you: lmaoo white women are so basic

And there you go! now you can actively be mean and demeaning towards women, because hey, they're white and straight! you said so! everybody will love you too, because you're fighting the oppressor, right? Yay!

hey y'all! no you must be thinking, tumblr isn't any place for misogyny! we'd detect it immediately! but not to worry, my friends. there is always a little space everywhere for a little bit of woman-hating. You can spread hate against women as long as you say 'white', 'straight', or better, 'white and straight'. Shove those two words in and BAM!! instant hit. You're so liberal now! no one will ever detect any misogyny!

throwback to when my delirious five year old sister sat on the toilet, counted on her fingers, and declared with bone-deep wonder and joy that 7 + 3 is eleven

today a wood pecker sat on a tree near my window and went knock knock :) just letting everyone who sees this post know :)

nobody will ever see this teeheehehee

life is just humiliating yourself over and over and learning to live with the inherent shame of being alive !! do what makes you happy !! it is impossible to live life without embarrassment, so why bother trying !!