When I Was In The Sixth Grade I Discovered Nietzche And Honestly That's Where It All Went Wrong

WHEN THE WHAT!!!!!!!!

WHEN THE

robo toilert

off topic and i know you don't care but once upon a time i went with my grand parents to visit a (ridiculously) rich friend. they were having a party, i was i think maybe 5????i don't know. anyway. i drank lots of orange juice. then i needed to go to the bathroom. there was a bit of a line, but a thing i noticed was that everytime the door opened, i heard a whirring sound, like a bee stuck in a peanut jar.

ok. so i enter the bathroom. my grandma is outside. i walk in. its a very big bathroom. there's blue lights every where. i take a few steps forward, the toilet seat is closed. a few more steps forward and the toilet seat goes whirrrrrrr and suddenly??? SPRINGS OPEN LIKE A SACROPHAGUS WITH A CURSED AND POSSIBLY DIARRHEA RIDDEN MUMMY iNSIDE. it starts to beep very cuntily. I've already screamed at this point, and my granny is banging at the door. i also happened to have pissed my pants, because my 5 year old brain has conjured up visions of the toilet ripping itself out of the floor, walking over, and then swallowing me into faecal oblivion.

and guess what's in the toilet? a turd. it forgot to flush.

now, i know you need to know how to use this. it's very simple.

woman: *expresses interest in a male, a certain type of food, or activity*

you: are straight girls okay???

alternatively-

woman:* partakes in an activity or a tradition that poses a threat to no one, and harms nobody's feelings*

you: lmaoo white women are so basic

And there you go! now you can actively be mean and demeaning towards women, because hey, they're white and straight! you said so! everybody will love you too, because you're fighting the oppressor, right? Yay!

hey y'all! no you must be thinking, tumblr isn't any place for misogyny! we'd detect it immediately! but not to worry, my friends. there is always a little space everywhere for a little bit of woman-hating. You can spread hate against women as long as you say 'white', 'straight', or better, 'white and straight'. Shove those two words in and BAM!! instant hit. You're so liberal now! no one will ever detect any misogyny!

i feel like will graham would be the average ao3 author. the kind to leave the work for two years and then come back like oh yeah:) sorry about that:) i had a bit of an episode and got stabbed in the gut by my therapist:) but now i'm back :) (they fuck in this one by the way, sorry for the wait)

aphobes will be like "asexuals think they're better than everyone else because they don't experience sexual attraction!" can you please shut up. none of us said that. you interpreted that yourself, because you think not wanting sex= performative purity.

"asexuals act like they're cake-eating gods!!!" good lord. we simply replaced having sex with enjoying a certain food, which is something all asexuals can identify with.

and don't get me started with the 'asexuality is not a sexuality' each and every one of you who shares that thought process either assumes that all aces are straight, and that not wanting sex makes you devoid of any sexuality. go take a hike.

Can you tell me how I can improve?

i think the world would be a better place if it got to decide who the next american president would be. we don't deserve to suffer for your mistakes, and you've proven yourself to be stupid because you didn't learn from the first time Orange Embarrassment was in office.

why can i no longer see the number of people who disliked the youtube video i need to round up the fellow haters and sound the rallying cry