Saying "I Swear On God" When You Are An Atheist Is The Biggest Power Move I Have Ever Done.

Hermione: do you know people are mostly killed during the night by their own spouses ?

Ron: why the fuck would you say that?

Hermione: it's a fun fact....and facts are true.

Ron: .....

Hermione: you actually don't think I would kill you right?

Ron: Mom, come pick me up I am scared.

Gryffindor: Is Ravenclaw alright? What's wrong with them?

Hufflepuff: what do you mean by that, they look completely fine!

Gryffindor: they are literally crying in corner with a cup of coffee since half an hour.

Hufflepuff: we all cry sometimes out of the blue...

Gryffindor: really? I DON'T. Hey Slytherin can you talk to Ravenclaw? You seem like the only person who understands them

Slytherin: *shrugs in a nonchalant way* Okay

(Walks to Ravenclaw, bends down and asks softly)

Slytherin: are you alright, buddy?

Ravenclaw: I finished a book and....

Slytherin: and your favourite character died?

Ravenclaw: YES AND I'M DEPRESSED. WHY DO THE GOOD CHARACTERS DIE?

Slytherin: and was this character a morally grey anti hero?

Ravenclaw:......how do you know.

Slytherin: I get it I have been there *patting their head*

Gryffindor: did I just witness Slytherin showing affection?

Hufflepuff: *squee*

(I know we all love the Hufflepuff×Slytherin but....I LOVE Ravenclaw×Slytherin way more!!!! It's like two very similar people but yet so different. And THE POTENTIAL CHEMISTRY!!!)

TW:

It's really hard to be someone with a superiority complex and an inferiority complex at the same time.

Ps: also have GAD, BDD, ED, OCD and other things haven't discovered yet.

Dazai, slamming his glass: why doesn't he love me, dammit!

Oda: maybe you should calm down a little; following him around and spying on him would come off as creepy to him.

Ango, massaging his temples: I have no idea how you haven't gotten arrested for spying!

Dazai: maybe because we are fucking criminals that work in the Mafia, Ango? I don't think Chuuya would report ME to the police of all people....

Oda: what if he reports you to the boss?

Dazai: the boss is the one who gave me the idea of spying on Chuuya to get his attention! He has been helping me all along!

Oda:......

Ango: that sounds like him.

*Meanwhile*

Chuuya: that idiot mackerel has been following me around for a week! Can you stop him?

Mori: interesting, have you thought of giving in and going out with him?

Chuuya: of course no----wait a minute! THAT'S your question? Shouldn't you stop that crazy ass behaviour?

Mori: I have decided to send you two on a joint mission to Hawaii....for a month.

Chuuya: huh? What will we do there? Have a honeymoon?

Mori:....

Chuuya: NOOOOO

ENTP: you know I am getting bored, wanna rob banks or something?

INFJ: that is your first response to getting bored?

ESTP: it's not like we haven't done it before.

INFP: you have robbed banks before?

ESTJ: I stopped them before they could. Don't know what they will do if I am not there.

INTP: *whispers* have some real fun for ounce

ENTP: INTJ what do you think about robbing a bank?

ISFJ: obviously, he doesn't think it's a good thing!

INTJ: not really, in this money hungry capitalistic world, robbing a bank doesn't feel like a bad idea. Maybe we can start a revolt.

ESTP, ENTP: yeah rebellion!

INTP: I don't know. I am bored too but a rebellion will be too much work and people

INFP: I don't think......you know what fuck yeah!

ISFJ: you kids are really childish

ESTJ: that's why I am their babysitter.

There's a Olivia Rodrigo song for every emotion. (I LOVE ALL OF THEM)

Brutal: I hate this world so much

Traitor: I got cheated on/my friend found a new friend

Driver's license: I miss my ex/ex-friend

1 step forward, 3 steps back: toxic relationships and issues you can't leave

Deja vu: I can't believe he/she/they replaced me!

Good 4 u: oh so you have moved on from me...sure...ahahhah...I am not mad...hahhahah...(ur dead)

Enough for you: I changed everything about myself because ur shit

Happier: maybe you can be less happy, there are some sensitive people around!

Jealousy Jealousy: self explanatory (also "everyone thinks he’s so smart, wonderful Potter with his scar and his broomstick" ~Draco Malfoy)

Favourite Crime: I know u are a felon and a criminal but you have a sweet side and a tender heart only I can change!

Hope ur ok: (cries) address the letters to the holes of my butterfly wings (cries some more)

After Bunny's death: Richard decides to say his internal monologue aloud (this is not a passage from the book)

Richard: "The view of the red blood mixing in with the soil shows how one's sins taint the purity of life. Bunny falls to his death in the beautiful light of the dusk, as his friends are celebrating one day well spent, he lays in between rocks and the broken bottle of wine, to show the morbid display of the youth of today. What a great life he could have had if not to commit treason against the people who trusted him. And what irony is it that he is pushed to his death by the same people who he had spent hours beside as a friend. That is the biggest truth of life, for its unpredictability is what makes life far more terrifying than death itself. The soil has become red with Bunny's blood; the wind blows, snow has started to fall to bury the remains of one cheery, smiling boy. What a beautiful sight it is to see someone die in front of you, it shows how aesthetics remain even in death"

Camilla, Charles and Francis: What the fuck Richard? 😶😶😶

Henry: *gives an approving nod* that is exactly what I was thinking, you took words from my mouth.

(PS: Richard's unhinged monologues give me life every time I read TSH. Also I believe Richard and Henry have a spiritual connection)

(PS: really sorry if any other got left out, I was writing these on top of my head so I don't know if there's more. Feel free to comment if you know any other siblings/sibling-ish dynamic I left out!)

Reading TSH again and again and finding out more details and theories is always fun.

Like the fact the entire story happened because Bunny wasn't able to fast for some more time and got caught eating.

Or that no one would have found Bunny's death suspicious if it hadn't snowed

Or that Henry tried to frame Richard by making him write the calculations for the posion mushrooms

Or that Richard thought of murder as poetic as a coping mechanism

Or that none of these horrible things would have happened to Richard if he hadn't picked up the pretty brochure.

(edited after a re-read)

*1:00 Am, Lupin Bar, Dark Era*

Dazai: are blind dates made for blind people?~

Oda:.......*stare*

Ango: of course not, Dazai. You know that already! It's for people who meet up without seeing or knowing each other

Dazai: is a group date considered an orgy?~

Oda:........*stare*

Ango: WTF. No. Why are you asking that? How much have you drunk?

Dazai: what about host clubs, are they a front for prosti---

Ango:-----not another word. What is wrong with you kid?

Oda:.........*stare*

Dazai: I thought I could ask you for romantic advice and some knowledge on the adult world~

Ango: these are not questions about romantic advice. Why are you asking us about it? And Oda are you gonna say anything or are you too drunk to?

Oda, dozing off:........

Dazai: I asked you two because you two are dating, right! Who else would I ask, except a couple in love~

Ango: WE ARE NOT DATING

Oda, opening his eyes:.........*stare*

Ango, massaging his temples: Oda don't stare at me like that and Dazai for the love of God stop laughing!!!!!