You Walk Alone In Your Life, No One Matters But You. Fuck Everyone Who Has Done Anything Harmful To You,

Currently in my Cecelia Lisbon era.

THESE two are going to be the DEATH OF ME-------WTH IN THE ROMEO AND JULIET ARE THEYYYYY???? And I even mentioned how they PARALLEL EACHOTHER? AHHHHHHHHHHH ASAGIRI-----

Sskk is one of the most emotional rivalries/ships I have ever seen. It is a relationship that actually hits the heart. Skk is iconic. Kyoukenji is cute. Fyolai is poetic. HiguGin is heartwarming. But sskk?

Sskk is deeper than all these dynamics. The more you get into it the more parallels you see, the more symbolism you see. The things they say to each other both stings at times and also makes you cry.

Akutagawa is both at his best and worst whenever he is around Atsushi. And the more the story goes on the less bitter he becomes.

Atsushi despises Akutagawa but he still works with him, because working with Akutagawa makes him more secure, feel as if someone's got his back.

"Don't worry, go you fool"

"That's why Dazai-san left you"

"Just the two of us?"

"Do we need more?"

Akutagawa and Atsushi support and help each other. They work as a team. Putting their differences apart

Because they are quite similar, looking for one thing; reassurance and praise

They have had difficult childhoods with no parental guidance and they grew up to be very different in terms of personality because of their unique circumstances.

All of these emotions. All of this pain in them. That keeps them separate but it also brings them together. Because that's the thing that they both understand. What's it like to have nothing. And they fight because they just want to be a part of something.

And maybe in one universe where Dazai never brought them together, they might be the best of friends like they were always supposed to.

It doesn't matter how their relationship is, soulmates will always find each other.

After all the only person Akutagawa has smiled at besides his sister-------is Atsushi

People thinking Atsushi is just a cute lil soft boy are so WRONG.

Atsushi is one of the best executed C-PTSD protagonists who are not just "kind" because they are the MC.

Atsushi is sassy, he is mean and says things like they are, even to his own mentor Dazai, he is not afraid of saying bad things. He doesn't hold back on his words. And he can be quite quick when it comes to using sass ("are you a landmower?" "Why are you dressed like a half-finished mummy, Dazai-san" "Akutagawa, fancy a cup of tea?" "That's why Dazai-san left you")

He's not just nice. He thinks he should be nice and kind because that's what someone like him should be like. Atsushi has such a low self esteem that he NEEDS to show kindness to everyone because he thinks just like he got a second chance at life, everyone else deserves it too.

That's why he saved Kyouka and Lucy, he recognised that want for bettering themselves in them. He wanted them to get a second chance like he did. Because to him, people are not good or bad, but they have the ability to change no matter how far they have gone.

This is why Atsushi is the only one who can recognise and understand Dazai's true personality. Whenever Dazai says something self depreciating Atsushi ALWAYS corrects him. In Dead Apple when Dazai is visiting Oda's grave, Atsushi understands whoever this person was, they were very dear to Dazai. At the end of Dead Apple when Dazai says he thinks he's not a good person, Atsushi tells him he has never thought of Dazai not being a good person. Atsushi knows Dazai was in the Port Mafia, but he STILL confirms he sees Dazai as a good person regardless of his past. Because Atsushi believes in second chances, and HE gave the second chance to Dazai that Oda must have wanted Dazai to get, even if the ADA accepted Dazai, no one has ever reassured him being a good person before. (Also in BSD wan, when Dazai says "I want to go out beautifully" during the fireworks scene, in the end-credits Atsushi sits near the river the entire day because he was sad that Dazai was suicidal. And in BSD mayoi, Dazai makes a snowman of Atsushi along with Oda, Ango and Chuuya, showing how much he adored Atsushi)

It's the same with Akutagawa; Atsushi doesn't understand why Akutagawa hates him and he's mean to Akutagawa at times but it never crossed a line. Akutagawa had done so many bad things to Atsushi but at the end they still worked together. Because Dazai understood the only person who will make Akutagawa use his powers to "protect" instead of "attack" is Atsushi. During the ending fight in S3, Akutagawa makes an armour for Atsushi as they combine their powers. And in the end credit scene of S5, we see Akutagawa protecting Atsushi AGAIN. This time Akutagawa isn't wearing the same coat Dazai gave him and for the first time shows true loyalty to Atsushi. ("Just the two of us?" "Do we need more?" *SCREAMS*)

Atsushi's relationship with the headmaster of the orphanage shows how much the trauma affected him as a child. When he can't forgive the headmaster at his death, he hates himself for not being able to give a second chance. And that's when Dazai steps in and tells him, "we cry when our father dies" something Atsushi really needs to hear and he finally cries.

Atsushi reassures Dazai all the time and Dazai snaps Atsushi out of his self depreciation all the time. Their solidarity throughout the story, shows why that day when Dazai chose Atsushi for the ADA; he recognised not Atsushi's powerful ability but his true ability in choosing to believe in people when no one else can.

NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS I will always love Skk, you can't make me hate them, never!!!!

I was going to add RanPoe too but I have never really seen people actively hating on that ship. Most people love it or are neutral but I rarely see anyone hating it!

We all have a ship that's so popular that people often call it overrated. What's yours?

I want some chaos, SO hear me out----

I want Akutagawa and Lucy to kiss for some reason (accidentally or intentionally) so that Atsushi will have the "My girl crush and guy crush are kissing each other and it's both terrible and hot at the same time"

Started the new year on the wrong foot by watching DIABOLIK LOVERS;

Is it wrong to call it my guilty pleasure, mostly the anime; the game is 😱😨😨😨😳🫢🫢

So naturally here's a rating of the boys; DISCLAIMER---- I KNOW they are terrible and would never be hot irl but this is fiction and we love mentally ill mfs in this house. I do not condone violence and assault. And I don't think this is a good representation of bdsm community. It is a work of fiction that should be taken as such.

1. Shu Sakamaki: babygirl

10/10

When I first saw him, he was already my fav. Lowkey the best choice despite his actions, he's the least likely to harm you, cuz he will just ignore you. And man is PRETTY. He looks like a prince okay? If he calls me a perv and a slut, I will just accept it cuz I am FOR HIM. (I am just gone, bye bye my long lost sanity). He was okay in HDB, but in Dark Fate, with the cat, I am sorry, I can't take it 💓💓💓💓. Shu takes first place mostly cuz this is an Otome game and I find him the most attractive, but this also might be cuz he is more laid back and older, which makes me feel more interested in him. His backstory makes sense of why he is so distant, if my brother killed my best friend and HIS ENTIRE VILLAGE I would stop giving a fuck too. Also while we are at it, Fuck Reji, Shu did nothing wrong 😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬. If he is a red flag, I am colorblind.

2. Subaru Sakamaki: baby tsundere

9/10

I have a history with loving tsunderes the most, so naturally his whole "....I lik---fuck off" made me giggling and kicking my feet. But not for long, his violent behaviour actually fucking scared me (all of their behaviour ofc) but the fact he is a walking rage ball doesn't help his case. BUT he is definitely the least perverted out of all of them (Shu isn't, he is on level with Laito when it comes to it). He blushes from the start of the game, he warns you multiple times not to get close and leave. And when he says "I love you" I believe it okay. Cuz I think he does truly love Yui. He doesn't make fun of her looks, he likes hugging her and while violent at the start, by Dark Fate, he is just a big old softie. I don't think any of the Sakamaki's love Yui as much as he does. I just want to give him a hug okay? I feel so bad for him at times. Fucking Karlheinz, fuck him. When he kissed Yui while she was sleeping ahhhh, he also apologize to her, asked for consent, as well as felt embarrassed when he saw her in a bath. Him and Yui also bicker like an old married couple and she doesn't hold back when it comes to him. I dock points at his wall breaking 😭😭😭 and the fact he feels a bit too young for me now (I don't like younger guys sorry).

3. Ayato Sakamaki: dumb jock energy

7/10

I didn't like him at first, his whole "yours truly" drove me insane but he kinda grew on me. Mostly cuz of the fanarts and stuff. I didn't think I'd give him this much credit but I had to. He's the main guy after all. With marrying Yui in all good endings and just generally being the one who wants to claim her the most (all of them do but I think ayato especially hates seeing her with anyone). He gives off massive jock energy, and his "pancake" made me mad at first but that became funny (I should not be laughing at the scene where Yui was reading his magazines but I did 😭😭😭). Now he is SUPER aggressive with Yui, my girl never deserved any of this, at times he really gets on my nerves cuz he is so contradictory. Like if you want her just say it, throwing her in the pool and then rescuing her??? Bitch, you are stupid. But his whole stupid behaviour feels charming to me, I love dumb guys they are funny as hell unintentionally. Cordelia can rot in hell, that's all. To me, the best looking and the best choice out of the triplets. I understand why him and Yui are the best Dialovers ship cuz I get the memo.

4. Laito Sakamaki: hear me out---call cops

4/10

Dumbass fedora wearing little----

I thought he would be lower in the list when I first saw him. But...he's kinda funny to me. Idc but his whole "bitch-chan" made me laugh so much. Maybe I was just looking for the bare minimum to like any of these guys, cuz I think Laito doesn't suck as much as I expected. Would I run from him? Yeah. Everything he does is overtly perverted and sexual. But there is a reason behind all this. Cordelia really DID HIM BAD. She fucking groomed him, I understand why he went all crazy in the head. HIS MOTHER...IM SORRY I CAN'T TAKE IT. While I don't like his route and in terms of the romance aspect I don't want him. But he gives SO many funny moments and is just such a goldmine in memes that I can't help but like him. Also being a thigh guy, huge respect. I definitely don't hate him, unexpectedly, he can become one of my "hear me out---". If he didn't fucking assualt Yui so many times, I might have put him above Ayato.

5. Kanato Sakamaki: Demon child

2/10

He looks mentally ill. He actually looks like a malnourished victorian boy. He looks possessed. And I DON'T LIKE HIM.

My feelings towards Kanato are so complicated. Like I do find him funny at times but he usually makes me roll my eyes. In terms of the romance aspect, just no, no, NO. Even my 14 year old self wouldn't like him, he looks like a CHILD. There's nothing attractive in him, the other boys have something, Kanato is just a demon child. And his teddy, I want to burn that teddy just cuz it makes Kanato even more annoying when he's talking to it. Did you not take your pills Kanato? Why are you the way you are. Ofc it's all his deadbeat dad and especially his bitch of a mother's fault. She had affairs in front of this little boy, no wonder he is so ill. He's definitely the most unhinged of the brothers, even they find him scary at times. He would just kill you for funsies. He would. I don't hate him but I don't like him either.

6. Reiji Sakamaki: Bleh Bleh Bleh

1/10

I am sorry I can't take this man seriously. Everything he says and does makes me go "ughhhhhhh" so bad. When he got mad at Shu for leaving their weekly dinners, aura point loss, loser behaviour. The only reason I gave him 1 point is cuz he's hot...sometimes. I generally love glasses guys but no Reiji just gets on nerves each time he opens his fucking mouth and says smtg on the lines of "um....akschully 🤓"

Fuck you. Fuck Reiji. His entire backstory is just being jealous of Shu. And then he spends his entire life trying to get on Shu's nerves and the fact Shu doesn't give a fuck drives Reiji even more. When he killed his mother and wanted to revive her just to kill her in a satisfying manner...bro... 😭. His relationship with Yui sucks, his little tea parties suck, he just sucks. I know Reiji has his fans, but I am a hater. With Kanato I don't like him romantically but with Reiji I don't like him at all. And when he spanks Yui and is like "don't drink her blood assholes" and then does the SAME thing. He actually made me mad. I was ready for whatever came my way when I got into this but Reiji is so annoying that I would take fucking Latio over him. All of this rage just cuz his mom didn't listen to his poem or whatever. I am sorry you are parentless Reiji, I just cannot care less about you 🍵.

And....

I love you Yui. Such an adorable girl. I feel so bad for her the entire time. She deserves so much.

Top 3 ships ranking:

1. Ayato x Yui

2. Subaru x Yui

3. Shu x Yui

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

My main character syndrome is so high that whenever I get into a problem I just go "this is how the plot is supposed to be, it will help in my character development"

NOW TELL ME THIS IS NOT AKUTAGAWA SIBLINGS CODED (specifically, Gin)

"We've taken different paths

And travelled different roads

I know we'll always end up on the same one when we're old

And when you're in the trenches

And you're under fire I will cover you"

"If I was dying on my knees

You would be the one to rescue me

And if you were drowned at sea

I'd give you my lungs so you could breathe

I've got you brother"

"We're living different lives

Heaven only knows

If we'll make it back with all our fingers and our toes

Five years, twenty years, come back

It will always be the same"

Charles: how can you possibly justify cold-blooded murder?

Henry: I prefer to think of it, as redistribution of matter.

Me: You can make a religion out of this!

Do you read books on murder and people getting away with it? Do you often wish upon deaths of the rotten people in the world? Do you find the notion of living in isolation with coffee and a book intriguing? Do you fall in love with morally grey anti heros? Do people call you unusual and insane? Do you wake up everyday wishing you didn't? Do you consider yourself to be better than others at the same time feeling inferior in a world that doesn't accept you?

If not then you are actully a fully functioning human being who does not rely their life's worth on hopeless soul searching and "you can't sit with us" *Gretchen Wiener voice*