I Don’t Wanna Ship Characters That Never Met

Just a reminder, James, Lily and Remus (and Peter) were planning a birthday party for Sirius but it never happened. Ans Sirius will never know because he never knew, because they could never tell him about it. He spend his birthday alone in a cell. No cake, no candles, no presents, no love, but in the cold and dark.

Sirius: you’ve always been jealous of me!

Regulus: jealous of what? Of your lack of responsibility? Your immaturity? Your total disregard for other people's feelings?

Regulus: your lack of any critical thinking? Your ignorance? Your unawareness to anyone but yourself?

“ 'Cause all of my enemies started out friends “ but it’s Marlene McKinnon, James Potter and Lily Evans(Potter) about Peter Pettigrew.

Barty, Dorcas & Evan: *walking into the Gryffindor common room*

Remus: *with his face in his hands with his shoulders moving up and down*

James: *on the ground laughing loudly*

Peter and Marlene: *with their hands on their knees, laughing loudly*

Dorcas: …what happened?

Remus: Marlene was trying to see if she could get on her broom inside-

Evan: uh oh

Remus: and she almost hit Peter with it and James said duck and they both quacked.

James: *watching Sirius look lovingly at Remus, Marlene to Dorcas, Lily to Pandora, ect*

James: god why can’t anyone look at me like that?

Someone from the Slytherin table: …

James: alright I need to swear-

Sirius: fuck.

James: swear as in promise??

My new favourite headcanon that I made up, last night when I was supposed to be sleeping:

It’s that Pete made up all the marauders nicknames while he was high and the conversation went a little something like..

Remus: Pete how much did you have?

Pete: [very clearly high out of his mind] .. ‘othing.

Sirius: oh you’re absolutely wasted

Pete: nuhhh..

James: cmon Pete, let’s get you to bed

Pete: no!!.. you heard did ya?

James: sorry?

Pete: that people make nicknames.. like moonguy over there.. [lazily points his hand over to Remus’ direction]

James & Sirius: [laughing] moonguy??

Remus: oh my god.

Pete: I mean y’all.. don’t talk

Sirius: ..we can’t talk..?

Pete: yea.. you- have pads on your feet.. so you- *gags*

James: oh Padfoot come help me bring him to the bathroom *smirks*

Sirius: ..I hate you

Remus: Not so funny anymore is it?

Pete: oka.. moon..y

Sirius: ..moony..!

James: I like Moony better

Remus: I hate you all.

Sirius: *blows a kiss to Remus*

James: *helping Peter get to the bathroom*

Pete: why..?

Prongs: pardon?

Sirius: what’s he saying?

James: uhh, I don’t know

Pete: you have no..

James: who? ..Me or Sirius?

Pete: both.. you

James: what don’t I have?

Pete: noo uhh. no, no collar-

Pete: I see deers with collars in zoos..

James: well I don’t want to wear a collar, that’s for wild deer

Sirius: *walks in*

Pete: you should get a.. met.. ual one..

James: metal?

Sirius: a what?

Pete: Like a..

Sirius: a metal collar? What like a prongs? Aren’t they for dogs..-

Pete: prongs..! *hugs James*

Sirius: oh! Ha Prongs!! *hugs Pete & James*

Remus: huh?

Sirius: Pete came up with another nickname!

Remus: Hold up we’re not actually gonna use them? Are we??

Sirius: of course we are.. Moony

Remus: I hate you

James: *says from the bathroom* So Remus is Moony, Sirius is Padfoot and, apparently, I’m Prongs.

Remus: what’s Peter going to be?

James: well his Animagus is a rat so we can make something out of that-

Sirius: ..rattail..!

Remus: rat’s tails look like worms kinda.. or maybe-

Sirius: wormtail!!

Pete: nuh.. uh. *still over in the toilet*

James: it’s perfect.

And that’s how they got their nicknames, thank you for listening

If your angst ship doesn’t fit:

“I can’t love you, anymore” vs “I can’t love you any more”

Then is it even that good of an angst ship?

Dorcas: I dreamed about you when I was in my poison coma, I was all old and withered. But you were still nice and pink.

Marlene: you think I’m nice?

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