When I First Saw All The Homie Memes Like The Ones With Guys And Their Homies Being All Touchy And Fruity

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' cheers in joy]

[how is it? Is it good? Bad? I didn't overcook the eggs did I? Is it too salty? I hope not I only added a little bit of salt did I leave any eggshells in there? (⁠´>﹏<`⁠；⁠)]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is fidgeting]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is nervous]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sponsored 200 coins]

[I AM BACK! ✧⁺⸜(●˙▾˙●)⸝⁺✧]

[AND! I made something! ˶╹ꇴ╹˶ ]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sponsored 'tomato scrambled egg dish']

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' spent some probability to create a scenario]

[a new scenario has arrived!]

❲Category - sub

Difficulty - F

Description - take a bite of 'tomato scrambled egg dish'

Reward - 10000000 coins, a Yoo Joonghyuk in chinese dress and garter belt plush

Failure - you'll make Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' cry❳

[try a bite pretty please? I tried so hard and spent so long making it just the way my mama makes it ( ≖⃙⃚᷄ ⍘ ≖⃙⃚᷅ )]

[you don't even need to take a bite of the tomato! you can just take a bite if the scrambled egg! Pretty please? ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚]

(He stared with complete wariness, grimacing as he stared down at the dish.)

.. There aren't any tomatoes inside the egg, are there..?

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' agrees]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' says that money is the best!]

[Constellation Bored Anarchist is looking at you!]

[Constellation Bored Anarchist would like your help!]

As a deadbeat dad yourself, how do you get a parent who refuses to have a part in their child life to pay child support?

[Constellation Bored Anarchist is thinking hard!]

There are multiple of them, but I belive they share the same bank account--if that is useful in your advice.

[Constellation Bored Anarchist has donated 2,000 coins to give to your children!]

(He frowns.)

I'm not a deadbeat dad-

(He sighs.)

I don't really know how to help you, though. I mean, I'm assuming this is about the egg..? Do constellations even need child support?? You all seem pretty rich..

Oh damn that's a good line

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' pouts but let it be]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' ask how does society work here?]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is curious about other immortals from different worlds]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is curious about you]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' asks if you are a god as well?]

As well? Who else do you claim to be a god?

No one calls me a god, including myself, but if they were to worship me, I doubt I'd be a benevolent diety

I think you're asking too much of him joonghyuk (- – -;⁠)⁠ゞ

pls kim dokja listen to yoo joonghyuk

Is it weird to have a dream about getting sexually assaulted by your dad and you tell your mom but she just laughs it off even when you show her evidence your lost and confused on what to do only to wake up in your bed and look down at your neck only to realize the hickeys are still there you threatened to tell the authorities and your parents started yelling and crying about how you can't do this to them they tried to chase you and you hid away on a tall place in your room and they attempt to swipe you down with the long stick thing that people use to hang their clothes and you tried to smack it away only for the pain of smacking your hand into the wall to wake you up back into the real world were none of this happened

I absolutely love this! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

The disciples of Qing Jing Peak weren’t stupid.

They were scholars in training, trained from the moment they had donned their peak’s colors to analyze the world around them. To see every flawless line in a painting. To find deeper meaning in every poem. To pick out each and every note flowing from a qin. They knew how to look, how to listen, how to see under the surface and find deeper meaning without letting their own preconceived notions distract them from what was truly there.

So it was really no wonder that they of all people were the only ones to realize their Shizun was different.

Oh on the outside he was largely unchanged. Still the same careful mask. Still the flowing robes and perfectly arranged hair. Still the ever present fans hiding all but his too sharp eyes.

But they knew how to look deeper.

They knew how to see.

Their new Shizun was a gentler soul than their old one.

It could be seen in the tightness around his eyes whenever one of them got hurt. It could be seen in fleeting smiles his fan wasn’t fast enough to cover when they did something he found amusing or adorable. It could be seen in the rarely granted head pats and gentle praise when one of them did well. His hands were always kind when they corrected sword forms or placements on the strings of a qin. His voice full of warmth as he lectured in front of their classes. His eyes danced with amusement when he teased them with such fondness that they never felt the sting of his words.

He was nothing like their old Shizun.

(And oh how some of them mourned their old teacher. How they pressed wet faces into pillows late in the night and wept silent tears for the man who still walked among them but was someone else entirely. Others spent those long dark nights battling relief and guilt in equal measures, feeling like they were betraying the man who had brought them in to their new home by being grateful they didn’t have to suffer his harshness any longer.

One boy played in a room of the bamboo house and vowed night after night that this new Shizun would have his loyalty at each and every turn.)

Changed as he was he was still theirs.

They had been there, after all, the day he had thrown himself in front of Luo Binghe and been poisoned with Without A Cure. They had been there when he caught one of the shimei’s crying because she missed her home and hugged her, cooing to her like a father to a beloved daughter. They had been there in a million other times when he had chosen them, so really it was only fair that they chose him in return.

Luo Binghe was glad to do most of the day to day care for their Shizun, cooking his meals and cleaning his home, but the rest of them were far from idle.

They trained harder, raising their cultivation levels at speeds unheard of to be strong enough to protect him. They weaved careful coverups and fed clever explanations to him whenever he seemed confused by something mundane. They returned his affection a hundredfold whenever they could get away with it, clinging to his sleeves and pressing against his sides like eager kittens vying for attention whenever he looked lonely.

They also kept a close eye on anyone who seemed too… interested in their beloved teacher, closing ranks and playing interference whether that person was an older disciple of another peak, a Peak Lord, or even the Sect Leader himself.

Their Shizun was not the man he once was, but this new man had chosen them from the very first day he had arrived on their peak. They, as devoted disciples, chose him back each and every day.

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' giggled]

[he was sooooo cute and soooo soft ꒰⌗´͈ ᵕ `͈⌗꒱৩]

[I cuddled him for a bit and he seem to like it! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sent an attachment]

[the other Incarnation 'Kim Dokja' got turned into a squid plushie earlier (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)]

[doesn't he look adorable? ꒰⌗´͈ ᵕ `͈⌗꒱৩]

The photo is of a small squid plushie being held against the constellation's chest the plushie is just looking resigned at his current predicament he didn't seem to notice his picture being taken

........he looks like he’s accepted his fate

*doesn't know what to feel seeing his other self in that situation*

I really need a fic of this

Aaand number 1 is a sorta crack au post?

Au: Everyone’s a Regressor!

- Just what the title says. Everyone (except the villains ofc) is a regressor. Including Cale. Who just happens to be a regressor, transmigrator, and reincarnator. Basically the same plot of Cale lived his first life in tboah and then reincarnated as krs before regressing and transmigrating into his original body after dying as krs. Plot twist though, most everyone else is also a regressor and he has no idea. He has memories of his first and second lives. Including the novel he read before he died, and doesn’t know why everyone is acting so different from what he knows!

- Why is his family being so nice and talking to him?! Why is Ron giving him so much lemonade?! Why does that Punk Choi Han act like he knows him already?! He and Ron and Beacrox know each other?! When did they meet this early?! Who are all these people in his house?!

- Okay? So his father is reinforcing the walls and they are making a navy in the Ubarr territory??? This is great. The heroes and his family are preparing for the war and he doesn’t even have to lift a finger!

- He does still carry out his plans though. Getting the ancient powers, saving Raon and coincidentally finding On and Hong, and helping Taylor and Cage. Speaking of which, Taylor stops his search for the vitality of the heart and just relaxes in Puzzle city with Cage for a bit before they meet Cale. Of course, the god of death still tells Cage abt the benefactor, who was not present in their past life. Cage is shocked to hear from the one who abandoned them in the last life, but still listens to him for Taylor’s sake.

- Deruth doesn’t want to send either of his sons this time, but he is shocked when Cale offers to go. Despite both his parents and Basen trying to deter him, he convinces them to let him go. They agree, only because Choi Han and the Molan duo will accompany him. Deruth doesn’t like the idea sending the person who beat his son to protect him. Much less the ones who betrayed his son to go off and play hero with the offender; but he knows how strong they are. If anyone can keep Cale safe, it’s them.

- Choi Han doesn’t hate Cale, but he doesn’t really like him either. He’s come to respect the younger during the time they spent as allies during the war, but the Cale right now hasn’t faced his future tragedy yet. He’s still young and immature, and acts like trash….right..? Wait- not right?! What is with this kid? Why does he act so different from before?! By all means, he should still be trash, soo why is he acting completely different from their past life? And why does he know things he shouldn’t know at this point in time? Or any point in time for that matter?

- He doesn’t seem to remember their life before, so why is he acting so strange?

- Cale is just trying to make it seem like he doesn’t know half these people so he won’t look suspicious, but why is everyone acting like they know him? He knows he’s never met the crown prince in this life, so what’s with that melancholy look?

- Meanwhile, Choi Han is just trying to find a way to find Rosalyn and Lock without seeming too suspicious. Luckily, Cale sent him away first.

- The vow of death never happens.

- “ I can’t tell you everything, but I can share two truths.” “Oh, there’s no need Cale-nim. I trust you.”

‘Wha..? How can you trust me? We’ve only known each other for a few weeks.’ “Don’t you want information on that secret organization?”

“It’s alright, Cale-nim. I’m sure we’ll run into them again soon.”

‘This punk…Does he know something?’ “Choi Han, do you know something about them?”

‘That’s not possible. Choi Han should have only encountered them once by this point.’

“No. I. Don’t. Know. What. You. Are. Talking. About.” ….

‘Was Choi Han always such a bad liar..?’

- Cale doesn’t get the annual rings right away. Why? Idk, consistency with Tcf plot?

- Everyone knows that everyone has regressed except Cale. Bc it’s funnier that way.

- So we got all his family members tiptoeing around him, trying to see if he remembers but also trying not to jog his memory if he doesn’t. They know the last life hurt him and they don’t want him to have to carry the burden of their deaths. (He does. And he’s not gonna make the same mistake twice).

- The Radish is still a hassle to deal with. Obviously they didn’t see all his powers from the last life as they were completely overwhelmed by the enemies, but with Cale’s help and their experience from the past, they are much stronger and more prepared. By the time the Indomitable alliance comes to the Henituse territory, there are even more secret weapons coming out of the woodworks. Seriously, the enemies are so confused. So is Cale. So is everyone else. Clopeh never stood a chance. It’s like the pointing Spiderman meme. And the enemies are a bonfire in the middle; being reduced to ashes while everyone else is being stunned by each other’s collective strength.

- The only enemy they have a bit of trouble with is the White Star. Not because he’s too strong, no, he’s already no match for Choi Han, Rosalyn, and Lock fighting against him altogether, but with the aid of Eruhaben, they now know that he’s a reincarnator. They have no idea how to kill him for good.

- So basically, they keep encountering him and injuring him further while trying not to actually kill him. Of course, that’s not to say that the rest of the WS allies are a joke, rather, they are just slightly challenging as literally everyone in the two continents speed runs getting stronger to prepare to combat his forces.

- To make it even more fun, none of the enemies retain their memories. Also, the citizens are random on who has memories of their past. Some do, some don’t. It creates chaos.

- Adventurer Bob remembers his past life where he died on his first adventure. He doesn’t know how he came back to the past, but he’s determined to use his knowledge of the future to his advantage! (What knowledge? Bro literally died on his first expedition).

- A middle aged baker in Rain City vows to live his life to the fullest this time! He’s going to build a Wyvern bunker! He’s going to save up funds! And he’s going to make up with his daughter who ran away to become a sword master! He’ll support her all the way this time. They may not be enough, but even if she doesn’t reach that level, who is he to stunt her only chance at survival in the upcoming war?

- Rookie Knight Jeffron has had quite a strange day. He woke up only to hear three of his comrades spouting nonsense about wars and fire and wyverns..? Just what is a wyvern? Must have been quite the nightmare. Psssh! As if! The Henituse territory would never fall to enemy soldiers! And attacking from the sky? Yeah right! What’s next? The Sun god accepts the darkness attribute? Hah! Jokes these days…

- Really, half the city seems to have had too much to drink. Or too little…? What has happened to Young Master Cale?! Some citizens could have sworn he had still been trash in the past. So what has happened to make their young master change so much? He doesn’t seem like he remembers? He doesn’t…right?

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' cheers silently careful not to disturb you]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' hopes you recover]

[take lots of rest and get better soon! After all you still have to turn avatar me into a dumpling! (⁠ ⁠•̀⁠ε⁠•́⁠ )/]

[I'm worried you know! You just went into the kitchen and then suddenly you got sick! (｡•ˇ‸ˇ•｡)]

Too tired to answer, he goes to the kitchen, returning with a few dumplings on a plate. Putting them down on the table, he just exits to room to go back to his bed.