You Know What? I Want Valkyrie Shenanigans. Give Me Nesta, Emerie, And Gwyn Debating If - No, Not It

this sucks so bad i need to (remembers suicide jokes only make my mental health worse) join an expedition to find the northwest passage

I'm normally a big bitch about anachronisms but I'm willing to handwave them for School Spirits bc decades and decades is sure to make your memory murky and mushy. Wally misses Debbie Gibson despite her first album coming out three years after he died? He heard it after he was already trapped. Emilio showed Charley Crash Into Me in 1994 even though the song released in 1996? No he didn't, Charley doesn't remember what song it really was and he's substituted one he's heard Emilio listening to since. Quinn was a huge Veronica Mars fan in 2004 even though the show would have only aired a handful of episodes when she died? It's one of the few things she remembers about herself before the mind draining numbness of being stuck in a loop and she's latched onto it as part of her anyway.

Like I am SO willing to make shit up about the things they say that aren't right in the timeline if it makes it sadder. Love it.

I am now incredibly angry this didn’t happen

imagine a Clone Wars episode/arc where a criminal is hired to dig up dirt (real or imagined) on the Jedi so they’re expelled or fall out of favor with the Chancellor or something

but like the investigator/criminal gets inVeStEd

“what do you MEAN Windu has never taken a day?? in his Jedi career?? someone teach this man SELF CARE”

“what do you MEAN General Kenobi would have left the order for Satine Kryze??? and they haven’t seen each other in over seven months?? do I NEED to wreak havoc on Mandalore so you can get thee to her, ginger-in-chief?”

“what do you MEAN Yoda’s apprentice fell to the dark side? what absolute madman does that to a liddle green bloke?”

“I have a bad feeling about exposing any of General Skywalker’s private life… as in… imperially bad feeling… I think he needs some blankets and maybe calming herbal teas”

“boss I’m sorry Commander Tano has done nothing wrong in her life ever”

Obi-Wan's shit eating smirk is EVERYTHING.

What if Anakin was a Twin?

Remember the arc in “The Clone Wars” where Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ashoka meet the Father, Sister, and Brother? What if Anakin had a sister to replicate the Brother and Sister, and together they would bring balance. 

She would be older by a minute or two and be a lot more apprehensive when meeting Qui-Gon in the “Phantom Menace”. (She had dreamt about them taking Anakin away.) She would go with Anakin to Coruscant to be trained to be a Jedi, Anakin would be Obi-Wan’s padawan and she would be Qui-Gon’s. But after Qui-Gon dies she would be assigned to someone else, or maybe she wouldn’t have a consistent master but go on missions with other Jedi. 

In “Attack of the Clones” she would go with Obi-Wan to Kamino, while Anakin went with Padme and they would finally reunite on Geonosis.  Somehow she would find out about Anakin and Padme.

She would be a general in the war and would fight with Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ashoka in different battles. (She would be like a big sister to all of her clones.) And when the council heard a distress signal that hadn’t been used in over 2,000 years, they send the four of them.

That’s where Anakin and his sister discover that they are the ones that will bring balance to the force. They are mirrors of one another, and the farther to the dark one of them falls, the other goes the other way. So if say, hypothetically, Anakin was to fall, she would become stronger in the light side of the force and vice versa. 

This is ultimately one of the things that prevent Anakin from falling, she can sense him slipping. And at the end of the war makes the case to the council that Anakin’s relationships with those around him kept both of them from falling and eventually led to them k-wording Palps and bringing balance to the force. So the Council would be like “yeah I guess maybe we won’t ban people from certain attachments, but we’ll teach that being fearful of losing those we love can cause someone to slip.” Just in time for Padme to give birth to twins. 

And what if, hypothetically, I had a fanfic in the works based on this exact idea...

I will never be normal about them

Maddie and Wally’s relationship being one of the only selfish things either of them had ever done in their lives/afterlives and then Wally saving Maddie from drowning in her codependence in her scar, I’m fine

Nesta being treated like a feral, uncontrollable thing when:

a) Azriel attacks Eris at the high lord meeting and tortures people for a living

b) Feyre attacks Beron and - inadvertently - the lady of autumn at the meeting

c) Cassian is banned from a whole court and slaughtered a whole village when he was angry

d) Rhys worked with a tyrant for 50 years

e) Mor and Amren had a fight that destroyed a mountain

Phee: You must be Crosshair. Tech told me all about you. Also, because of Tech, I’m your friend.

Also Phee: *Does insane aerial stealth tricks* *Does risky maneuvers to help the Batch* *Isn’t afraid to do shady stuff to help the Batch*

Crosshair: Tech, if you can hear me, I wish you never pulled Plan 99. Phee would be a lovely sister-in-law.

the turkey swiss on rye incident

I’m screaming this is so freaking cute

Gwynriel Headcanons: Cozy & Festive ❄️🌲

A/N: I finished Dash&Lily on Netflix and now I'm watching Love Actually. Grab a cup of cocoa and read some heartwarming Gwynriel headcanons

Gwyn gets really into knitting. She's naturally crafty & good at everything.

Nesta, Cass, Emerie and Az wearing gorgeous knit sweaters

Azriel asking if she knows how to make mittens too because his hands get cold 🥺

Gwyn making a matching set of mittens & a beanie for Azriel and Azriel ONLY

Az proudly wearing his Berdara bespoke and looking like a cozy sexy hunk

the rest of IC getting super jealous (as they should)

Midnight flying trips to see the festive faelights decorating Velaris.

Gwyn's beaming smile & wide-eyed awe. Azriel's soft eyes and secret smiles staring at Gwyn's face. It's prettier than the lights.

Late-night hot cocoa and deep intimate conversations. Extra marshmallows and whipped cream for Gwyn, of course.

Azriel getting a hot cocoa mustache

Gwyn: "Shadowsinger, have you ever thought of growing out your beard a little?"

Gwyn, mumbles: "You'd look hot with scruff."

Az:  "What was that?"

Gwyn: "Nothing." 😳

Azriel tells Gwyn all about the IC’s Solstice traditions and the snowball fight

Azriel trying to be suave and cool casually bragging about all his wins to impress Berdara

Gwyn totally amused that he’s being cocky knowing damn well he lost last year

Gwyn teasing Az about his crushing defeat, being a stubborn sore loser, and this silly cocky attitude.

Azriel: 😑

Gwyn: "So is your goal this year just to win or total annihilation?"

Total annihilation, obviously.

Gwyn and Azriel spend the week before the snowball fight perfecting his plan to completely wreck Rhys & Cass. They devise snow density ratios, sphere-forming techniques, psychological analysis of Cass & Rhys' strengths and weaknesses

Azriel: "I surveyed the ground. The best vantage point is beside the pine tree. The snow fort should be approximately this meters tall..."

Gwyn: "Cassian has a height advantage for throwing. Rhys is shorter which is better for dodging. Cass is more easily provoked. If they start attacking each other you can use the overhand technique...

He wins. Thank you, Gwyneth Berdara.

The cold and stormy weather makes training a little harder than usual. One night, they're dripping in rain. The floor is slick and they end up falling and wrestling on the ground. Cue intense sexual tension and a dramatic stare into each other's eyes.

The nights when it's unbearably cold they stay inside just talking or reading with each other

Azriel has a humongous and cozy blanket. Gwyn loves it and looks positively adorable all snuggled up.

For some reason, they can always fall asleep when they're near each other. For some reason, they always wake up leaning against each other on the sofa. One particularly cold morning, they wake up spooning. But they're just friends, of course.

Gwyn's cold breath forming small clouds and Az's shadowing swirling around it. Curious, innit?

Azriel looking devilishly handsome in a black cashmere turtleneck

Snowflakes in Azriel's hair

Gwyn's freckled nose and cheeks tinging rosy red

Gwyn absentmindedly humming Solstice choir music and old festive songs

Gwyn, Azriel, Nesta and Cassian decorating the House of Wind with garlands, lights, holly, and evergreens.

Nesta and Cassian kissing under the mistletoe. Then, making out under the mistletoe.

Azriel catches clumsy Gwyn from falling while putting up lights

Cassian breaking a box of ornaments and Nesta shouting at him

Gwyn and Cassian wrapping themselves in tinsel

Nesta: "Where did they get bells?!?!"

Azriel: *exasperated sigh*

Gwyn and Cass: *jingle jingle* Okay let's try running faster! *jinglejinglejinglejingle*

The gang traveling to Illyria and surprising Emerie. They decorate her shop and share some mulled wine and peppermint tea.

The girls build Frosty the Snowbat. It's quite impressive and large. It’s modeled after Az’s wingspan…for reasons

The gang makes a point to give back and donate food, clothes, and toys (because a certain High Lord can't be bothered to care about his citizens 🙄) #sorrynotsorry

Gwyn organizes a children's choir in the village. Nesta gives dance lessons. Chef Cass makes a feast. Emerie gives out gifts. It's an Illyrian celebration spectacular!

Azriel helps all of them. He's quite popular with the kids. He's the baritone in Gwyn's choir.

The show is a rousing success and their singing earns a standing ovation

Gwyn knows a recipe to make what are essentially fireworks (the evil lightsinger knows how to make evil colorful lights in the sky OooO she's so dangerous)

Azriel doesn't want Gwyn to get burned. He flies them up into the sky and uses his shadows to help set them off. It's bright and magical. Everyone is in awe, especially, Gwyn.

She thanks him for his help and they share a sweet moment under a snowy tree hidden from everyone.

Azriel the Illyrian Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day.

Gwyn jumping into Azriel arms excitedly to hug him every time she greets him (she's really cheery around the holidays and he’s always super warm)

Both of them savoring in each other's warmth and lingering in their embraces

Frosty but sunny morning trips into town for holiday shopping for all their friends.

Gwyn is a beautiful writer and makes her own cards. She writes the most loving and heartfelt notes inside. She brings Nesta and Emerie to tears. Cassian is choked up and practically squishes her.

Azriel is stunned and so moved that he can't form words and his chest feels funny. He waits until they are alone. He doesn't know what to say so he just hugs her for a very long time. He kisses her on the forehead and tells her how grateful he is for their friendship (oh these sweet idiots)

Despite the freezing cold, this holiday season feels warm. They feel the joy, they feel cared for, they feel loved. The long cold nights feel less lonely with each other.

Who else feels warm and fuzzy? already working on a part 2 ☺️