Trash Of The Count’s Family

Reasons Cale Henituse is the funniest motherfucker:

*People cheering for him in the streets* Hm. Don’t like that.

His self-proclaimed speciality is just disassociating on command

Someone: *helps him* Cale: *sighs* I guess I have to solve every problem you’ve ever had

When learning a language, memorised all the swear words before anything else

“I don’t like cats,” says Cale, holding two kittens tenderly, plotting a rebellion to instate a third cat as the new emperor

Single father of *checks notes* uh… 3 to 14 children,

All he wants is to retire to the country; can’t stop getting into international incidents

His relationship with the crown prince is basically: *points at each other* Bastard

Keeps telling people not to trust him while saving their asses from certain destruction

This loser thinks he’s ‘quiet’ and ‘good at keeping still’

Cale: *smiles gently* Everyone: oh god stop What the Fuck

‘Accidental Baby Acquisition’ trope but it’s ‘Accidental Family Acquisition’ and they’re all agents of chaos

“I heard you got hurt,” says a concerned child. “Yes, I coughed up blood.” Cale comforts, comfortingly.

[Girl hits on him] No thanks [Guy hits on him] No thanks

Everyone: you’re a good person Cale: incomprehensible, have a terrible day

Named his adopted son, a dragon, ‘Dragon’

Tells people to drink tea before pulling out something that will make them spray it everywhere like a cartoon

*to a 13 year old* No you can’t train to become a knight you’re too young *to a 5 year old* Alright tonight we’re gonna blow up an island and participate in the slaughter of half a race make sure to protect me well

His entire fucking backstory, like what? What???

Raon: I’ve only had this human for an hour and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone on this continent and then myself Cale: That’s terrifying please stop talking

Never thinks, at any point, to tell anyone that he has a healing power 

He’s THE most extra bitch. Orchestrates his b&e’s like he’s conducting an opera, always plans for maximum Dramatic Effect

*The crown prince doesn’t help in a terror incident* That’s fine because he’s weak. *Finds out he’s strong actually* Bastard??????

Gives his kids an extravagant allowance. Doesn’t let them spend it and buys everything for them instead

‘I should have just got beaten up’, Cale thinks, war waging around him. ‘That would be far less annoying.’

lil screenshot redraw (sort of) bc im insane about them (again)

Doodle exercise

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Allow me to elaborate

Do you have any triggers?

Jello, Popsicles, Soup Broth. 

“The always-shocked” duo!

Gen must be so relieved he got a friend from old-word with same reactions…. :))

Guardian + Reductress headlines, Weilan Edition - 3/?

[ID: 6 gifs from the cdrama Guardian with Reductress headlines laid overtop: Shen Wei looking in Zhao Yunlan’s fridge and flinching away from the smell, looking like he’s questioning his life choices while the headline reads, “Boyfriend ‘Extremely Sure’ Expired Milk Still Good”; Zhao Yunlan asking Shen Wei if he’s married or has a girlfriend with the headline reading “QUIZ: Are They Flirting or is it Just Tax Software Asking if You’re Single?”; Shen Wei, embarassed, letting go of Zhao Yunlan’s hand, who narrows his eyes in confusion, with text that reads “QUIZ: Did Your Souls Meet in a Past Life or Did You Match on Hinge 5 Years Ago?”; Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan in a cab, Shen Wei looks at Zhao Yunlan, then adjusts his position to be more comfortable for Zhao Yunlan to rest against, the headline reads “QUIZ: Should You Pause Your New Relationship or Accelerate It Way Past a Healthy Pace?”; Shen Wei putting a bowl of rice in front of Zhao Yunlan, the counter they’re sitting at full with dishes he’s cooked, the headline reads “How to Cook a Beautiful Meal For Your Partner Without Appearing Domestic”; Zhao Yunlan tearfully agreeing to the bet Shen Wei suggested and Shen Wei grinning back, on the verge of crying, while the headline reads “How to Comfort Your Partner Even Though Crying is Kinda Your Thing” /END ID]

from http://incorrectoofuriquotes.tumblr.com/post/141027246055/tajima-rules-are-made-to-be-broken-hanai-they :)))

“he hoards good memories like it’s the only thing he has”