Reasons Cale Henituse Is The Funniest Motherfucker:

Reasons Cale Henituse is the funniest motherfucker:

*People cheering for him in the streets* Hm. Don’t like that.

His self-proclaimed speciality is just disassociating on command

Someone: *helps him* Cale: *sighs* I guess I have to solve every problem you’ve ever had

When learning a language, memorised all the swear words before anything else

“I don’t like cats,” says Cale, holding two kittens tenderly, plotting a rebellion to instate a third cat as the new emperor

Single father of *checks notes* uh… 3 to 14 children,

All he wants is to retire to the country; can’t stop getting into international incidents

His relationship with the crown prince is basically: *points at each other* Bastard

Keeps telling people not to trust him while saving their asses from certain destruction

This loser thinks he’s ‘quiet’ and ‘good at keeping still’

Cale: *smiles gently* Everyone: oh god stop What the Fuck

‘Accidental Baby Acquisition’ trope but it’s ‘Accidental Family Acquisition’ and they’re all agents of chaos

“I heard you got hurt,” says a concerned child. “Yes, I coughed up blood.” Cale comforts, comfortingly.

[Girl hits on him] No thanks [Guy hits on him] No thanks

Everyone: you’re a good person Cale: incomprehensible, have a terrible day

Named his adopted son, a dragon, ‘Dragon’

Tells people to drink tea before pulling out something that will make them spray it everywhere like a cartoon

*to a 13 year old* No you can’t train to become a knight you’re too young *to a 5 year old* Alright tonight we’re gonna blow up an island and participate in the slaughter of half a race make sure to protect me well

His entire fucking backstory, like what? What???

Raon: I’ve only had this human for an hour and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone on this continent and then myself Cale: That’s terrifying please stop talking

Never thinks, at any point, to tell anyone that he has a healing power

He’s THE most extra bitch. Orchestrates his b&e’s like he’s conducting an opera, always plans for maximum Dramatic Effect

*The crown prince doesn’t help in a terror incident* That’s fine because he’s weak. *Finds out he’s strong actually* Bastard??????

Gives his kids an extravagant allowance. Doesn’t let them spend it and buys everything for them instead

‘I should have just got beaten up’, Cale thinks, war waging around him. ‘That would be far less annoying.’

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Fantasy sci-fi setting SenGen in space exploration mission featuring other Gochiso :3 Totally inspired by Agravity Boys, sort of? 😆

This kind of rival SenGen is not bad too, huh 😋

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3 years ago

this was originally supposed to just be a xeno shitpost but i like this song too much so i kept adding stuff to it FDGFG dont try too hard to make sense of this <3

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1 month ago

“What are you doing?”

Bruce startles suddenly as a young voice distracts him from the delicious kisses Clark happened to be giving him. “Dickie? Sweetheart what are you doing here?” Bruce questioned softly, pulling away from Clark’s hold and rushing over to his ward. “Are you okay? Did something happen?” Bruce questioned softly.

Dick didn’t seem to be paying attention as Bruce picked him up and cradled him in his arms, instead, he was entirely focused in on Clark standing awkwardly by the table they were just making out on.

“What were you doing?” Dick questioned again, making Clark squirm. The kid’s bright blue eyes were staring into his soul, no trace of the jovial warmth that they usually held.

“Well…” Bruce started, Clark could see his mind moving at a million miles per hour trying to find the best way to explain what happening to the 10 year old. “You know how I told you Clark and I are special friends?”

“Yes… I thought that it just meant best friends.” Dick scowled, finally looking away from Clark and pouting up at Bruce. “I didn’t know that meant kissy friends.”

Bruce made a face and Clark decided now was probably the best time for him to step in and say something. Clark cleared his throat softly and stepped closer to the two. “Um, Dick-“

Clark was cut off by a very sharp glare from the young boy, his lips curled back in a snarl that made the indestructible man pause.

“Chum-“

“Tati, I’m sleepy…” Dick suddenly whined, throwing his arms around Bruce’s neck and burying his face in his shoulder. “Can we go home now? Want you to read me a bedtime story…”

Bruce immediately melted, cooing softly as he patted Dick on the back. “Of course my love, let’s go home right now.” Bruce agreed, throwing Clark an apologetic smile. “I’ll see you later Kal.”

Clark couldn’t help the love sick smile spreading across his face as he watched Bruce walk away, however, Dick could very much help it. Clark’s smile slid off his face once he saw the evil glare the ten year old was throwing at him over Bruce’s shoulder.

He couldn’t help shivering from the chill he felt crawling up his back. “Shit.” Clark muttered, running a hand through his hair.

He had the smallest inkling he just ruined any good grace he had with the young boy due to his romantic relationship with Bruce. How is it that he’s so scared of such a little boy?

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trd12345

3 years ago

Oofuri Gods!AU Previous Post: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Oofuri Gods!AU previous post: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Ah, finally an update! This is getting longer in each post lol

I don’t have any idea about how this story will go on and how this will end, well for now on, let’s just make things by instinct hahaha.

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trd12345

3 years ago

https://www.thedailybeast.com/state-department-to-lgbt-married-couples-your-out-of-wedlock-kids-arent-citizens

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1 month ago

What if it’s a love story all along?

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trd12345

3 years ago

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2 years ago

Comic page consisting of two frames that are not separated from each other with borders.
Kim Dokja from Omniscient reader's viewpoint is sitting on a chair, clinging to the seat. He is a child here. Then he is sitting with his head hanging low, surrounded by white figures. The page says "Sometime in my childhood"

"I stopped using people's names". Two hands on the glass, one is peeling off of it a sticker with "names" written on it. Behind the glass there's a vague silhuette of a woman holding a phone. Her features are not visible.

"You never know if they are going to stay".
A view of two people sitting at the table separated by a glass, holding phones - they are in a visiting room in jail. The person behind the glass is a woman in a shirt and a turtleneck. Her face is not visible again. In front of the glass is a slumped figure of a boy, Kim Dokja in his childhood. He is turned with his back to the viewer, facing the woman.

"So why bother you with names that i'll stop using a week later". Same visiting room, same woman behind the glass. Now she's holding the phone on the table with both her hands. In front of the glass is older Kim Dokja, slumped again. He is turned with his back to the viewer, facing the woman. Now he is not holding the phone, it's laying on the table near him.

"However one name that i have kept with me". A side view of Kim Dokja graspin at someone's hand. It looks like an adult's hand, the sleeve visible belongs to a black coat.

"For years and years". Child Kid Dokja is looking up at the person, who's hand he is holding. It's Yoo Jonghyuk, he is looking away from the kid to the right, where he is holding adult Kim Dokja's hand. Adult Kim Dokja is smiling.

"It kept me going". Yoo Jonghyuk is holding lapels of Kim Dokja's coat. He is furious with something, while Kim Dokja is smiling, holding his palms up.

"I suppose in a way it was worth remembering for you as well?". Front close up masked woman's face with accent on her eyes. It seems that she's behind the glass. There's a white reflection of Yoo Jonghyuk on the glass. He is looking angry.

"I wonder if". Youu Jonghyuk is far in the front, with his back towards the viewer. Behind him is a long shadow. Close to the viewer, also turned away is Kim Dokja, but only the back of his head is visible.

"He'll remember my name when it's over". Closer shot of Yoo Jonghyuk. He is looking to the side with sentimental expression.

"I wonder if it's worth remembering". The word "worth" is accentuated. Even closer shot of Youu Jonghyuk, now only his head and shoulder. He notices the viewer, he looks surprised.

Close up of Yoo Jonghyuk's face. He is smiling gently.

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trd12345

3 years ago

This Is Like, Over A Year Old And The Second Remake Of This Comic I Made, I Really Don’t Want To Spend

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1 month ago