official elon musk hate post reblog to hate like to hate reply to hate
Prev thinks that dc is the worst fandom ever, and is absolutely not a fan of nightwing
Just fucking lie about the previous poster
All healed up Jason who just decides to move back into Wayne manor, and he suddenly takes up his role similar to a 1950’s Housewife with a weapons arsenal. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jason in the morning dropping his brothers off to school: I made Lunch you better fucking eat it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ jason in a floral apron making cookies?? Bruce just thinks he’s hallucinating for the first week because that cannot be his murder son
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
he doesn’t even tell anyone he’s back. He just snuck in and took up residence in the kitchen at 1am, making pancakes until the morning
Tim, who only knew Jason through stories and rumours and snuck down the stairs for midnight coffee: who the fuck is that??
Team “not actually oblivious to flirting, just terrified of appearing presumptuous” represent.
Batman being aggressively secretive towards the Justice League is one of my favorite tropes, but it gets INFINITELY funnier when you take the younger generations of heroes into consideration.
Barry Allen? He doesn't know shit about Batman, still partially convinced he's not human, still a little bit scared to talk to him. But Wally West? That's Nightwing's best friend. He's been around Dick since both of them were kids. He's had sleepovers at the manor since he was thirteen.
I just think it would be hilarious if all of the younger generations 100% know that Batman is Bruce Wayne. They've slept at the manor, some of them have taken various Batkids to school dances, they've been offered Alfred's cooking. And all because they've gotten close to at least one Batkid and said Batkid wore Bruce down until he let them reveal their identity. But all of them manage to keep this information from their mentors. Either purposefully or completely on accident.
Then you end up with a situation where the younger generations grow up and join the League and the older members Very Quickly realize that they seem a lot more comfortable with Batman than they should be.
So real, it’s even worse when it’s a group of ppl and half are calling you a nickname and half are not
When someone calls you your full name instead of your nickname after not hearing it all summer 0:
•A compliment
•A story
•Why you follow me
•A cute message
•One thing you want to tell me
•One thing you want to know about me
B is about to be disowned
Metgala had passed once again, and I can't stop thinking about how badly the Batsiblings would judge every look they see. Bruce Wayne taught them to style themselves and be dolls, NOT for this.
Dick, throwing chips in TV: Go, Kylie, go! Give us nothing!
Tim: As the most fashionable sibling out of all of us, I can't stress enough how this pains me.
Stephanie: Be fr, Cass is the most fashionable one, lol.
Damian: Not to appear as Drake's supporter, but Brown, I know that you are not joining us to judge this humiliation ritual, when you wear violet converses with yellow capri pants.
Duke: This year's topic, and the way they handle it, offend me personally. Like. Please. Cassandra, nodding: You would... Slay. Jason: God, I will slay these idiots with my sword, WHAT IS THIS? Another black suit?!
Everyone: *dead silence for a whole minute* Dick, swallowing: That is surely not what I think it is. Jason: I am starting to shoot in a minute. Tim, closing his eyes: I am speechless. Bruce Wayne on their screens, who was invited to the Metgala, but was suggested by the PR-team to wear the most boring outfit, so people would still perceive him as a bimbo with no thoughts behind his big blue eyes: *waving at the camera* Stephanie, scrolling her phone: Oh, that's not a thirst trap edits with this look on my timeline that I see. Everyone: *terrified screech*
Jason’s-alive-reveal-au where he decides that in order to fuck with Bruce on every level he needs access to both sides of his life, so not only does he become Red Hood but he also starts working at WE and accidentally slowly starts climbing the corporate ladder. he didn’t mean to be anything more than a low-level grunt but turns out he fucking rules at this job, and it all comes to light because thinking he wouldn’t be important meant he didn’t even bother using a fake name, and eventually Tim’s in his office like, running through promotions that he needs to approve for some of the higher positions.
Tim, seeing ‘Jason Peter Todd’ as one of the names on the list:
Tim: *narrows eyes*
Lucius, spotting the name: ….oh. what do you want to-
Tim: give him the promotion.
Lucius: ….give the promotion to the person using Bruce’s dead son’s name?
Tim: if he gets the promotion he’ll have to attend the monthly board meetings. i want to watch whoever this is try and get away with that. we’ll tear him apart.
Tim thinks he’s being real funny up until Jason fucking Todd walks into the boardroom two weeks later and maintains direct eye contact just daring him to freak out in front of everyone. i like to think that Bruce is also at this meeting, but he fell asleep five minutes ago so he doesn’t even notice, and Tim spends the next hour glaring daggers into the passed out man’s head for daring to leave him alone in this situation.
the thing is, Bruce probably slacks off so much at WE that even if Jason was like. in the highest position he could possible achieve in his department. he probably wouldn’t notice. Jason and Tim come to an understanding filled with spite that leads Tim to keep quiet about Jason’s revival specifically because Bruce keeps palming his work off on Tim and he wants to get him back.
eventually the family find out who Red Hood is and Tim doesn’t act surprised in the slightest. betrayed, Bruce asks why Tim would keep that kind of information from him only to immediately get shouted down with ‘-WELL MAYBE IF YOU ACTUALLY SHOWED UP TO THE FUCKING STOCK MEETINGS YOU WOULD KNOW-‘
after like twenty seconds of shocked silence at the outburst Jason turns to clap Bruce on the shoulder, ‘oh right. also i run your marketing department. see you in a couple days for the quarterly report.’
(i think its also funnier if Damian was somewhat aware of the situation due to doing some kind of volunteer/internship thing at WE for school, and like two months after Tim found out, Damian was in his office with him when Jason waltzed in to hand in some papers and both Tim and Damian froze. Tim because he didn’t think Damian knew Jason and was afraid he’d snitch, and Damian because what the fuck is Todd doing in front of a family member without the helmet?!
Jason, after like a minute: Dami, i can explain
Damian, really doesn’t want to get dragged into whatever bullshit Jason’s doing, because he had enough of that in the league and doesn’t want to be held responsible by both Bruce and Talia when this inevitably blows up in their faces: you know what Todd? i actually don’t want you to.
Jason:
Jason: thats honestly fair
Tim, confused: …am i missing something here?
Jason and Damian, simultaneously: no.)