I’ve Subjected Myself To The Horrible Ordeal Of Being Known (submitted My Work To A Literary Magazine)

I’m a simple person (that is a lie.), I put on a suit jacket, and suddenly I’m possessed by the spirit of Narcissus

I’m not writing faerie porn to reinvent the tree of good and evil. If you want to be spoon fed moral purity go read the book about drowning children, God’s Favorite’s enacting horrible crimes out of infantile yearning for power, SA, and thought crime.

now say it with me: authors/artists dont owe you moral purity. an author/artist job is not to hold you by the hand & tell you exactly what is Good™ & what is Bad™. you should be able to think for yourself

Clara Lille (BadBoy17) is a trans woman, right?

I’m only a third into the game, but like. That user name is so “Egg on the verge of cracking,” and then she just kept it post coming out.

If that’s not true I’m gonna be very bummed.

A terrible secret

I hear a lot, about people young and old, scared they’ll never find someone who loves them.

I’m scared I’ll never find someone I love. I don’t…like most people. I’m good at socializing, I enjoy being in groups. I love talking to people I disagree with, or find distasteful. There is joy in meeting people who are nothing like you, and finding ways to coexist.

I think I’m broken sometimes. I like “Someone New” by Hozier, because I relate to finding awed love in strangers. I am equally disgusted, appalled, or bored by them. I hate how this sounds. I hate how it looks, staring back at me, pretentious words on paper or screen.

‘Poor little genius can’t get along with people.’

‘God, could you be more of a dick?’

‘What a fucking try-hard.’

I know what I sound like, I do. It doesn’t change it.

I’m tired. I’m lonely. I hope it gets better.

Bisexual, yeah

why is eric spreading his legs like that whilst talking about dm? hm? i know what you are old man

I love music

Many times in my life I have come across music, stories, art, and thought…not yet. I’ll love you, eventually, one day. I’ll come back when I’m ready. You’ll find me again when I need it.

I loved singing as a kid. I grew up with a mom who kept Songs About Jane by Maroon 5 in the CD player, and a Grandmother dancing along to Patsy Cline any chance she got. My Aunt got an iTunes account just to download Carly Simon’s and Adele. My grandfather sobbing hymns.

Eventually, I got scared of sharing the music I love. I was told it was too melancholy, too angry, too overwhelming. That I was those things too. Friends would say I had terrible taste, like it was a joke, like it was obvious, like I was obtuse for not noticing.

Over the last year I’ve been trying to change that. Making music recommendations, playing Passenger DJ, singing by the sea.

I am honored by your response. Thank you.

Ready, Set, Go…

What’s your favorite Hozier song? Why? No, you can’t say all of them. And don’t choose something stupid like cherry wine (there’s nothing wrong with cherry wine. Obviously. But gods man, have an actual opinion).

You are, however, perfectly welcome to list a handful in no particular order. Here, I’ll start,

Wildflower and Barley ft. Allison Russell

“(I feel as) useful as dirt, put my body to work.”

If this song does not fill you with the incredible longing to fall in love with life, and love, and dirt, you are listening to music wrong. I am sorry, you are beyond redemption.

To Noise Making (Sing)

“Your head tilt back, your funny mouth to the clouds. I couldn’t hope to know that song and all it’s words wouldn’t claim to feel the same it felt the first time it was heard.”

“Was it that or just the act of making noise that brought you joy?”

Enjoy the moment because it will not last, but rejoice in the knowledge that more are coming, as similarly meaningful and unique and impossible to duplicate to the one you are currently living!

Make music. Make bad music. Make music for the sake of exaltation. Make art because if you don’t then what is the point in living! Make art because one of the first things a child learns is to take marker to a wall, or pudding to a carpet. Make art because it is an expression of self. Make art because it is proof of life. Live.

Too Sweet

“Don’t you just want to wake up, dark as a lake? Smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze?”

Get drunk with your friends and skinny dip off a pier. Ignore the rules, what are they for anyway? Find meaning in how you see it. Confront the wild beast in the woods and let it merry meet the one in you.

Those church bells in the background- Are they ringing in a wedding, or a funeral? A simple Sunday Service, or acknowledging the hour? Life goes on, always. It’s the one continuity. It never stops. So what are you doing with it?

Moment’s Silence (Common Tongue)

“A cure I know that soothes the soul, does so impossibly. A moment’s silence when my baby puts the mouth on me.”

“When the meaning’s gone, there is clarity, and the reason comes on the common tongue of your loving me. And it’s easy done, our little remedy…”

Hot.

What, I can’t like music with an…oral focus? Too low brow? The beat and flow of the music takes you on a sensual journey as much as the lyrics.

Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene by Hozier, Fiachra Kinder, and Rory Doyle

“Jarring of judgement and reasons defeat, the sweet heat of her breath in my mouth, I’m alive.”

“With her sweetened breath, and her tongue so mean…”

“With her straw blonde hair, her arms hard and lean, she’s the angle of death and the codeine scene.”

I’m gay. Extraordinarily queer. Do I need to elaborate? This sound sounds like a death march. It sounds like the echo in your ears as you dance yourself to death. Years passing away in the span of a single dance and you don’t care, as long as she is your partner. You can’t manage to rip your eyes off her to save your life. You won’t.

Almost (Sweet Music)

“I’m almost me again…she’s almost you.”

It was Almost Sweet Music. We were Almost something. I’m Almost able to be normal about this song. Seperated by a pair of parenthesis, kept apart and yet part of the whole.

Foreigner’s God

“Her eyes look sharp and steady into the empty parts of me. But still my heart is heavy with the hate of some other man’s beliefs.”

“I’ve no language left to say it, but all I do is quake to her. Break it if I try to convey it, the broken love I make to her.”

If you, somehow, have missed the message that Hozier’s music is incredibly political- If you have ignored Nobody’s Soldier, Eat Your Young, and oh, I don’t know, just about 70% of his discography… What do you think this song is about?

It’s also just a really fucking good song.

Reason 1 to finish your manuscript:

You can’t read fanfiction of your work unless you, actually, y’know, finish and publish it.

Hades from Hercules 🤝 Getting mad that your hot girl bestie is ignoring you to hang out with a 🤢GUY🤮 🤝 Me

I’m so baffled by authors who accidentally write the most compelling queer ships of all time, and then become angry when fans acknowledge that the characters are in fact queer.