Thesadboisclub - ℭ𝔢𝔫𝔬𝔟𝔦𝔱𝔢 ℭ𝔬𝔲𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔢

My Dearest L...

I have this smoking habit that I'm trying to stop, but then I don't know why I'd stop when we're all going to die one day. do I have to stop because I want a few long years to live or should I stop because I want to be old enough to see my grandchildren? then comes the question will I ever have grandchildren? I'm single right now, correction I have "someone" but I don't know how long it's going to last cause it a long-distance R-ship and everyone knows how they tend to go. My longest one was I think a year long. I know this is going to sound bad to me. but don't judge till you know the whole story boys and girls. but I have this boy I started seeing before covid and I was already in my online R-ship but this guy was here in my home town and he knew I had the online boyfriend but I am yet to tell my online boyfriend about him, not because I don't want him knowing I just don't know how he's going to act knowing I have 2 boyfriends and NO I'M NOT A PLAYER.....I'm just poly and my online boyfriend knows I am. but now the boy that lived close to me. went home to Mexico for x-mas and he has not come back, I talk to him everyday. he told me he'd be back at the beginning of Jan but now it's the middle of Feb and I have two online R-ships and I'm left cold and alone in bed at night in the....dark...with my panic attacks...and my nightmares...to suffer all alone...in a cold beddd.

dark filled night skys, red filled moring sunrise.

@thesadboisclub

My Dearest L...

well, I may have made new friends at my new job, not sure it if will last honestly, but at least I'm trying to put myself out there as much as I don't want to. it will be nice to have some people to have tea and coffee with :)

Being with someone who wants to learn about your past history, not to punish or hurt you, but to learn how you need to be loved

My Dearest L...

Have you ever been on the phone with someone and talked to them about something that interests you then they LEGIT fall asleep on you mid-conversation, it's almost 4am right now and I get he's tired but like I'M ABOUT TO SLAP A BITCH!!!

My Dearest L...

it’s time is driff off into a dark slumber agian...

I should make some tea

My Dearest L…

Sometimes i wonder what i bring to the table, will it be enough for the ones i love. you know i’ve been alone i have truly forgot what love even feels like, it’s just a weird night tonight. why did my ex text me? why have people from my past all been talking to me after a year they have been super quite. i don’t inderstand it...... oh!! 

P.S. Goodnight<3 i’ll type more tomorrow 

My Dearest L...

tonight is coming to an end but before i go i want to just say some time i think i’m in a coma  in some hospitle waiting to wake up one day and this is all just a big dream i’m in...