JUST HERE TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU ' RE A LOSER ! FAGTA ! ( MEANT THREATENINGLY )

I am going to try. I will document how successful or unsuccessful it was.

do you wish to respond to the allegations that you are and always have been a tree frog?

I love tree frogs. They always look so stupid and confused, and it's the cutest thing ever. I currently am not one, but I may evolve into one at a future point in time.

Have you seen the tree frogs in Dimension 96? They're huge! And residents have them as what we would consider "guard dogs". Dimension 96 has guard frogs.

Back to the original question, no. I am not a tree frog. But I hope to be one day.

For the past 10 hours, my notifications have been stuck on a minimum of four. I keep checking. There's nothing else to see there. But it keeps telling me I have four notifications. I've checked my asks, messages, cleared my cache (which took embarrassingly long), and signed out and signed back in. Nothing is working. I'm tweaking.

What was your wedding like? Was waddles the flower girl?

Actually, Waddles was the ring bearer. Mabel and her two friends whose names escape me (as well as Pacifica, begrudgingly) were the flower girls. There were so many flower petals that Mabel still coughs some up occasionally.

Not if I make him lay one first.

first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go

The kind we put up around the Shack that kept Bill out.

Grunkle Ford, I keep being harassed by different versions of Bill

Let me consult the moss.

"slurp their eyes through silly straws"

Okay, not consulting the moss. Maybe just ignore them. When I ignored the Bill in our universe, the worse that happened to me is I got an embarrassing tattoo and a nail stuck through my hand.

gleep glorp. shleep gageep norp? sorbagorp.

-shaBlorp

Unfortunately, that is not a language I am fluent in. However, something tells me there was a slur in there.

How? Right now, I'm on a boat.

For the past 10 hours, my notifications have been stuck on a minimum of four. I keep checking. There's nothing else to see there. But it keeps telling me I have four notifications. I've checked my asks, messages, cleared my cache (which took embarrassingly long), and signed out and signed back in. Nothing is working. I'm tweaking.

Why are you green!?

@boiling-with-rage mossed me. I am on a mission to make it everyones problem, because I am petty and bitter. You've also just been mossed.

Do you have any kids besides @daughter-of-the-author ?

More specifically, are you a motherfucker?

I can't say for certain how many children I have. @daughter-of-the-author is technically not "my" child, since she belongs to an alternate version of myself.

No matter how many potential children I have, I can say with certainty that I have never been asked to pay child support.

reblog if you have skilled writer friends and you're damn proud of them