HOW’S IT FEEL TO KNOW THAT THE INNOCENT CROCHET TURTLE WHO HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG IS GOING TO BE NAMED

:3 I love you. - C.

What. Why. Who is this.

I have decided that the time has come to make an 'introductory post' of sorts. This won't be very fun to read, so feel free to ignore it.

ME: For those of you still reading, greetings! I'm sure you're all aware, but in case you somehow missed it, my name is Stanford Pines. I also go by Ford, but other nicknames are reserved for specific individuals. Except for Paranormal Bottom. If anyone calls me that, I am going to explode and die.

ASKS: I love receiving asks! Especially asks about my journeys through different dimensions, strange phenomena that you have inquiries about, and really whatever you feel inclined to ask. My only request is that we keep explicit asks to a minimum, since my niece and nephew like to "stalk" (Mabel's words, not mine) my social media. Mildly suggestive asks are okay in moderation.

DNI: Bill Cipher from my dimension. Alternate versions are sometimes even enjoyable to be around, but the canon Bill Cipher is not allowed here.

EXTRA: I have decided that, when my schedule allows it, I will occasionally host Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons campaigns. When the times approach, I will post about them.

EXTRA: My two favorite dimensions are 73 and 96! 73 has great cheese, and the tree frogs in 96 are the size of large dogs.

Please vote Stone. Please. He is obviously the superior choice. I am actually begging.

reblog if you have skilled writer friends and you're damn proud of them

Noted. But also funnily enough I do have to say that I’m also married. It’s just to another version of you lol. Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day, Ford. :3 - C.

I hope you have a lovely day as well! Tell the alternate version of me that I said hi.

Gompers.

Grunkle Ford, I keep being harassed by different versions of Bill

Let me consult the moss.

"slurp their eyes through silly straws"

Okay, not consulting the moss. Maybe just ignore them. When I ignored the Bill in our universe, the worse that happened to me is I got an embarrassing tattoo and a nail stuck through my hand.

Keep one and toss the other. We can just call you Nonsmoking from now on.

What is a "Paranormal bottom"?

All you need to know is that I AM NOT ONE. Furthermore, I SHOULD NOT BE CALLED ONE.

I got the name from a nickname generator.

dont look at me with those big beautiful eyes im trying to be Weird and evil to you

How would you recommend getting rid of zombie spiders? just out of curiosity and for no particular reason, of course.

Would a three part harmony work? And, side note, can you tell Mabel that I'm not the high part in that harmony?

A three part harmony only works for man-based zombies. For arachnids, you would need a drum quartet, seeing as spiders are more vibration-oriented than sound-oriented.

I would recommend having a hose handy, as they will explode. Everywhere.

Making your spouse worried sick. How considerate and loving of you.

Love u♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Meet Jeff the balloon! I'm high. I took pills.

JEFF LOOKS LIKE A VERY NICE BALLOON . ALSO PLEASE DON ' T TAKE TOO MANY OF THOSE . I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH .