Update On This I DONT KNOW HOW TO FORMALLY ORGANIZE MY THOUGHTS SO ITS TAKING A BIT BUT IT IS IN PROGRESS

this is entirely acceptable aside from the fact that theres equal part protein powder as the oats thats terrifying

stick it in a pot, cook it up, schlorp it up

angel and devil on my shoulder and one of them is my pcp and the other is uncle traveling matt. i see one of those tiny glass sculptures of animals. they both immediately start screaming.

idk if i already posted about this but. fraggle rock. doozertubes. theyre why i want to eat glass. any time i see any thin glass anything a little gay coded evil muppet in the back of my brain tells me to eat it and honestly who am i to disobey him?

Okay but I need someone to write a snippet where whenever Tim does something “villainous” the core four make the “we’re in the bad timeline” jokes.

He could mix Red Bull with his coffee and Cassie is like “alright boys, we’re in the bad timeline.”

Tim holding one of Hood’s guns for whatever reason: >:3

Kon: *backs away slowly* “I know I joke about it but, we’re definitely in the bad timeline. Tim has a gun.”

Tim: *using his Timothy Wayne Persona as a way to get Bart to stop*

Bart: “This is the bad timeline.”

Bonus points if Tim brings out a PowerPoint titled “What to do if We’re in the Bad Timeline”

And it’s two slides.

Slide 1:

“Signs of the Bad Timeline”

> Tim has a gun

Slide 2:

“Steps to Avoid the Bad Timeline”

> Shoot Tim

> Have a younger Tim come and bluff his way out of it.

i spent most of my early life around mechanics and car people because those were all my dad's friends. if you dont know, the term for whenever a car is all black (interior, detailing, exterior) is "murdered out". the time that i spent NOT around mechanics and car people was at my grandma's, who is obsessed with crime shows and did not think of how not good it was to watch those in the presence of young children. i, five years old, had a black horse plushie. i connected the dots of something all black being "murdered out" and the voice that the guy on the tv made when talking about murder and would introduce my black horse plushie as "MURDERRRR" with the deepest and gravelliest voice i could manage as a toddler. this is why my kingergarten teacher told my parents to take me to a priest

(edit because i forgot how old kids are in the second grade and that is very not right??)

Me, introducing stuffed animals : this is Arnold he is in jail for first degree murder

i adore this is all

Soulmates as a horror concept.

You WILL love this person. It doesn't matter who you loved before; any feelings you had, any promises you made, they will become inconsequential as soon as you lock eyes with the stranger Fate has picked for you.

There's no way to stop it.

There's no way to say "no."

You will meet someone and with a single glance, both of you will become someone new, someone who's now bound to this stranger whether you like it or not, want it or not.

Trapped in a dance together until the day you die.

okay i know that the blog this is from is very dead now but i quote this on a daily basis and i just think about it a lot okay

Hi i am Deficient in so many minerals and im about to do something ill regret

unironically one of the most frustrating parts about being a teenager is that everyone always assumes youre suddenly Up To No Good and that, even though youve had a nearly perfect track record harmful shenanigans-wise, you are now evil and terrible and cruel and are now looking for Debauchery and Turpitude. dude just because you and your friends were difficult unsupervised teenagers does not mean i am come on

Alright, but you're gonna keep the secret, right?