Sup

I like my hair for now, in a week or so they will return to their chaotic messy abomination state once more to torment my existence

•[~Requeim Eternam~]•

How do i fill the void inside me? In the sense that the void is the absence of a personality, i have nothing, no direction of thought, i feel i don't exist and it's painful.

Έκανα κάτι απίστευτο, δεν ξέρω με ποιον να το μοιραστώ όμως :(

The sky was beautiful today

Having a "bpd-depression-idk what to call it yet" meltdown (that may last for weeks) is a lose-lose situation. You feel so empty that you desperately seek attention and love from others and when you're with friends it's extremely painful because you can't be yourself and you need attention constantly and fail to have fun and they all dislike you and hate you and you hate them now and i hate them all and even you do and say embarrassing things because there is no filter, no clear mind to act naturally. So what do you do? You stay away from people, it's the best course of action cause being around any people is extremely painful. In isolation tho you scream and suffer from the pain of loneliness where you don't even have yourself for company. Your self doesn't exist. There is no coordination of thought, no sense of self, nothing brings you joy for there is noone to enjoy it. You do things mechanically. You don't exist and oh the loneliness. You can't even enjoy chocolate or pepsi! Maybe pepsi but that's because pepsi is really good. No therapist can help you, no-one can. You're stuck there. And you wait till you magically snap out of it. It's crazy when you suddenly feel yourself slipping into the meltdown and you desperately cling to something so you escape it in time. But all is in vain. There is no escaping it. Lay on your bed. Listening to music doesn't help either cause no music can bring you pleasure. Every song feels like a chore to listen to. Idk what may help. It sucks it sucks it sucks! Someone help me :3

Me and Andreas, my sleep paralysis demon, vibing and hunting thots in the hive city of Kal' amatah

His design was heavily inspired by @robertbchew

Tell me if u want me to draw u with your sleep paralysis demonl, I really want to draw more people like that but I don't have friends

Salamander

Cyberpunk your life~