I'm Feeling Kinda Terrible, Like I'm Going To Pass Out Constantly. So I'll Be Terminating My Day Soon,

I've just done the most confusing thing I've ever done.

I just,

got home and aired out blankets, thinking, I deserve this. hey I feel gross, and I know I had a shower yesterday but I think'll have another today, and I fucking did. Not for 27 minutes, 6 minute shower, wow! I want to do laundry, I'll do my laundry. I think I should change my bed sheets, that way everything will be nice tonight. wow, I'm on a roll! might as well do dishes too, I don't even have anything I'm avoiding. Hey I think I've done most everything I needed to, I don't have homework, I don't have a task or project I'm avoiding. That's great! I think I'll drink a healthy vitamin drink, they taste like oranges, maybe I'll even have a muffin. Im so proud of myself, look at you go little man!

I hate when people don't believe me when I say I'm good without something.

You don't have to buy me things to win my affection, I'm not trying to be considerate of your finances, I just don't want a drink. It's okay. Sometimes I'm just not hungry and I'm not interested in that last cookie. It's okay that I really like that thing, I just don't want it. I know that eating it right now isn't what will make me feel good.

Why can't friends and family respect that I sometimes don't want things, sometimes I just want a glass of cold water with a straw. And that's good enough for me.

do you think famous poets looked at what they wrote like an hour later and went, "yo this is kinda cringe-" or is that a new development in poetry?

Box cream goes in bag jail

I love threatening my dog with, "the rat". Not only because it confuses those around me but also because my dog is deeply terrified of the rat.

rocks

Me at the beginning of the school year: I fucking hate the guys they're so transphobic, I don't feel safe at school. Atleast the girls are nice..

Me now: screw the guys, the girls are assholes. You're not the fucking victim here you prick. Don't try to tell me to "Stop being so negative" I will break your fucking ankles. YOU SAID GAY BEST FRIEND LIKE IT WAS A GOOD THING??? unironically too, wtf. And I suppose Im sorry for being a little stingy when you asked if my pronouns were they/them, you almost gave me fucking anxiety attack over that. (Props to ya use they/them, that's super cool and prolly really sexy) I've been out for the past two to three years and you've only properly met me and been introduced to me after I came out, my pronouns have been he/him for a long while. And don't think about "how could I be homophobic if my uncle is trans"

I'm genuinely astonished you weren't paying attention enough to get transphobic and homophobic right. Also that's got the same energy as "how can I be racist? I have a black friend." Like what made you think that's an intelligent answer?

She's lucky for ta couple things. One, that I have restraint and have worked on my anger management since last year. And two, that I got too stressed to even bring it up to a teacher. The thought of having to explain how someone is being mean to me makes me feel like I'm going to cry, and I don't like that.

Someone just put the stainless steel pan on the cast iron pan stack.

This house is a fucking nightmare

A handfull of weeks ago I bought this really old book from a vintage store. And I don't just mean from 50 years ago or something, I mean from like 100 years ago. It's in German or something, and I can't read it. But it was so interesting I just had to bring it home. The number in the cover says 1860 and I know the book itself was around since 1881 from the first of many signatures and dates on the inside.

Im a bit cautious about touching it since it's badly damaged but here are some photos. Anyone know what language/book this is? What's it about? So curious

I cannot fucking believe how much I'm losing my mind right now over soy sauce history. I'll tell all of you about it after I finish this essay because I need to un-distract myself enough to finish it but what the fuck? What the fuck is going on? I'm losing my fucking mind.