Seeing @gittetj’s Post (sorry, Hope You Dont Mind The Ping! Also Everyone Should Check It Out) Is Really

mob choirさんの「exist」の大まかな歌訳と、この歌から語彙、その１：Ａメロ❶

mob choir's 'exist' in rough translation + vocabulary, part 1: verse 1

translator's note: i am a singer. it is not my aim to write singable lyrics in my native tongue; i translate for those who want a sense of what is being sung, to help me better commit lyrics to memory, and to aid my own study of the japanese language (and hopefully yours as well, kind reader!).

multiple translation passes are necessary to produce a poem that preserves as much of the song's meaning as possible while matching its rhythms, so i would hesitate to call what i am doing 'translation'. i think 'rough' is appropriate here.

learning songs in one's target language is a particularly active and participatory kind of immersion! i would much rather sing this in the original japanese, anyway.

vocab + lyrics below the cut.

この歌から語彙 words from this song

目を閉じる　〖 こまっちまう・me wo tojìru 〗　to close one's eyes.

浮遊（する）〖 こまっちまう・fuyuu 〗　floating, drifting. also meant 'wandering about, meandering, difficult to pin down' in an archaic sense.

うずき　〖 疼き・uzùki 〗　usually translated in JP-EN dictionaries as 'ache' or 'twinge'. to my surprise, when i looked 疼き up in a monolingual dictionary, i found that it actually refers to a 'throbbing pain'; 'ache' is off by at least an order of magnitude. related words are うずく (the verb form) and ズキズキ (the mimetic word).

失う　〖 うしなう・ushinàu 〗　to lose (something or someone), to miss out on something.

焼き付く　〖 やきつく・yakìts'ku 〗　lit. or fig. to be seared into, to leave a strong impression, to be etched into.

今際　〖 いまわ・imawa 〗　one's last moments, hour of dying.

惜別　〖 せきべつ・sekíbetsu 〗　a reluctance to or regret at parting.

迫る　〖 せまる・semàru 〗　here to approach, to be imminent.

無常　〖 むじょう・mujou 〗　the japanese buddhist equivalent of anitya; uncertainty, impermanence, change as a force.

つかむ　〖 掴む・ts'kàmu 〗　to seize, grasp, grab, hold...

歌詞 lyrics

Ａメロ

目を閉じても　浮遊する疼き even when i close my eyes a throbbing pain i can't quite pin down 失うほどに　焼き付く shape the more i lose, the stronger the impression left behind-shape 今際の惜別に　迫ってく無常 in my last moments on earth, i don't want to leave the uncertainty that lies ahead fast approaches この手で掴む missing piece the missing piece i'll seize with my hands

part 1｜part 2｜part 3｜part 4

pissed about them cutting out the part of confession arc not because of the lore but because the shot of shigeo cradling mob’s face in his hands would’ve been a one-hit k.o. miracle clip for mp100 amv creators

ritsu and shou take everything they do seriously to a comedic extent they wouldn’t just write a grocery list they would map out where every product is in the grocery store and optimize the route so their grocery trips can be as efficient as possible

if u have some spare time and u don’t mind, I would love to see Roy actually well dressed for once. Maybe a tuxedo? Who knows?

listen…. I’m actually reeeeally fond of his black coat… it’s just…… so…… good

hey, i think i just Got it. 

Reigen not really understanding what Mob is going thru (him not being a psychic) is the perfect parent/teen child analogy. Like, he kinda pretends to get it, but he doesn’t really know – until the end. and he says, “I didn’t know! Is that what you’ve been going through? something this big?” That line just cuts me to my core and it’s because… isn’t that what we all wanted to hear from our parents when we were 14 and at the mercy of our uncontrollable emotions? to be seen, to be validated in that way? wow

the clickbait title: Amazing! This manga has the power to heal your childhood trauma!

so like basically in the REIGEN manga tome tries so desperately to throw herself into the center of this literal Superhuman world she sees and play the role of the eager young protagonist and its so endearing but in the end reigen has to come clean and she can’t keep using the spiritual premise as a crutch. not because she was wrong to have her whimsical interests, but because the fantasy of specialness can often be an escape from the isolation a person feels due to being unable to live up to societal ideals of normalcy, and yet in the end the fantasy can itself end up feeding directly into the isolation by obscuring your view of the other people in your life. you cannot prioritize the idea of being unique or special alone and that is the reason that the power structures in the story (as represented by roshuuto in REIGEN) so frequently fail short; because actually EVERYONE is a Pathetic Freak Weirdo Nerd Loser, from the handsome, popular rich boy, to the pretentious Dark!Reigen foil who takes himself too seriously, to all of the mundane teenage girls who the audience is initially tricked into dismissing as shallow, but also by the same token EVERYONE deserves to be loved and feel supported. 

because actually bonds with other people are the most important thing, and centrally this is also why REIGEN relies so heavily on bonds with others as something to create horror. the evil spirit mimics the voices of the ones you love and lures you in and when you’re at your most lost and scared and in need, that’s when you turn around and the face of the person you trust betrays you. tome only contracts the fatal curse in the first place because she cared about reigen and went back to make amends with him. because that’s the most horrifying, most terrifying thing, the thing that renders you absolutely helpless, isn’t it? it’s letting yourself rely on others and trust them to the point that it leaves you vulnerable, isn’t it? but you have to do it, if you want to achieve true connection then you can’t continue keeping up a veneer of Specialness and posturing as someone you’re not no matter how afraid you are of being seen as your true self. that’s the idea that really connects tome and reigen above all else. you have to be who you really are and you have to trust that you’ll be loved for it. and that’s horrifying! that’s an unimaginable, Forbidden terror! but it’s necessary. 

and also I think it’s so clever how REIGEN conveys this by only bringing in shigeo kageyama, the protagonist and most recognizable character who the reader has so many preconceived notions of, in at the last moment as a terrifying ghost who is impersonating him. I mean also it’s partially because shigeo can easily be made to look scary lol, because let’s be real, he can be pretty goddamn scary /hj BUT MOSTLY it’s to have him in his uniform, in his most recognizable and iconic form that the reader will cling to, and then have it be blown away by the post-canon shigeo, the real shigeo, the shigeo who has grown and changed and is no longer stuck in the role he once was. because to be vulnerable with others you have to grow and change and do away with old pretenses and dynamics that you’ve become dependent on. it can be scary to stop playing roles after you’ve grown use to them for so long, but you don’t need them - your most honest self will be the most loved. and also I love how just like tome could tell that it was the real reigen bcause he immediately ran into a spiderweb and yelled, you can tell that it’s the real shigeo because he’s immediately rude as fuck and he and reigen literally instantly go into their mean pithy little affectionate banter lol ok sorry anyway.

and also because you cannot really be any more or less special than anyone else and you need bonds with others, it’s true both that you have to rely on other people, but also that you owe it to them to be kind. reigen is literally a normal person working in the spirit business, so he has to rely on other people with the necessary abilities, such as dimple the spirit and serizawa the psychic, yes, but he also does his part to take care of the people who matter to him. roshuuto is so focused on appearances and power - as shown by how he goes on and on about connections - but when it comes down to it, he was not willing to save others (leaving hoshido in Reliance), and so nobody bothered trying to save him in turn. he only abandoned, and was abandoned. this is shown most acutely in the end by how roshuuto “has no other option” but to pass his curse on to someone else to save himself, while reigen “has no other option” to take on a curse to save someone else. reigen and serizawa accepting their responsibility as adults to protect the children around them is an extension of the idea that you are equal to everyone and are obligated to be kind to your loved ones and recieve kindness in turn. anyway mutual trust and communication is all that matters and tome kurata is The protagonist of all time Sorry,

anyway, some reigen observations

valleys of the young

Ramblings about Separate Ways Arc

I am rewatching Mob Psycho 100 with my fiancée right now and wow, Separate Ways Arc was tough before but rewatching it was way harder.

I didn't really like Reigen much on the first watch through haha Until the end of season 2 that is. I was 100% with Ritsu. I thought "This guy is an asshole, how can he use someone like Mob like that?? Fuck him, I don't like him." I hate seeing a character get used by another—it reminds me too much of myself. So I had a weird satisfaction with Reigen digging his hole the first time I watched, like a character getting what was coming to them.

I was happy to see Reigen get dragged through the mud.

But then, I got to know Reigen's character more as the series went on. And after rewatching the start of the season and getting to this point, I was picking up so much more of Reigen's unsaid feelings, about himself, about Mob. I was seeing the little insecurities more, in different ways he was animated (even when over the top), in his dialogue, in just the framing of shots. God damn this show and all the little things it sprinkles in to add clarity and color to a character.

What I didn't expect on this rewatch, was feeling so sad watching these two episodes. All of his over the top antics, everything just made me...

really really sad.

Knowing that we're going to go from here...

to here...

God I just, I really get why people like him so much haha The separation arc rings so much more beautifully after I know where we end up. Reigen fucked up. Reigen said some bad shit. Reigen hurt the people he cares about, but in the end, Reigen cares so much, and his failure is like beautiful little vignette.

Shigeo is still my favorite character, and I love his arc above all else. But I am falling in love with Reigen's growth this second time around.

Even the monster of the week episode at the start of season 2, where he starts to really think about Mob and what his needs are, I felt myself being pulled into his character more than ever before. He had to be thinking about all that stuff when he says those awful things to Mob. Deep down he knew that Mob was struggling and trying to change, and he both wanted to embrace that because he knows it's right but also fears it because he is lonely.

God damnit Reigen. You and your...Reigen-ness. Making me feel shit.

ALSO I have been meaning to do little posts/thoughts as I rewatch with my partner. The Mogami Arc needs it's own post too, same with season 1 haha But maybe I can just start here, I dunno.

(I actually gave my partner a trigger warning before going into Mogami arc which I am glad I did that one was hard for him to watch)

[id: part of the reigen spinoff manga. first panel shows roshuuto walking while on the phone with rusty-sama attached to his body. photos of jodo and his other connections are in the background. second panel shows only his phone and says "no one else would help me. all of my personal connections were for naught." end id]

something something uhh people need other people