Uhhh... You're Not Planning To Get Anywhere Near Me With That Spray, Right? RIGHT??? 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😭😳🥲😅👀🥹🥺💯👉🏻👈🏻

I know, but at least I can get away with canabalism without being put in prison! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍💯🤭😂🤣😁☺️😳😉😋🥳👀👉🏻👈🏻

I just cut my dick off, and it's bleeding a lot... What do I do, doctor?

Uh, cauterize it?

They look like they're having a lunch date! 🕷️❤️✨

omnomnomnomnom(devouring a flower together)

Well! Spider it it! 🕷️❤️😘😍🥰😌☺️🥳🥹😁😉✨👉🏻👈🏻

Look up your name in the gifs and show the first gif that comes up

@absurdumsid @inka-boi @childofthest4rzz @tobi-draws @largefound

Stingy flies! Yummy! Also I can't wait to keep learning from you how to deduce things! And thanks for the infos, they're not only needed but also moch appreciated! You really have no idea how much I've missed you, along with everyone else. The only thing left that I really miss is my old username, so yes, I do agree with you on the matter that the old username was better. 🕷️🥰😘😍❤️☺️😌😉😁🥺🥹😭😇😳😋🥳

Hey there Sherlock! I'm back! I hope you've been well and I hope you still keep up those awesome, braincell-revieving, scientific explainations about stuff like insects or arachnids like myself! 🕷️🥰😘😍❤️☺️😌😋🥳😉😁🥺🥹😳😭

I had noted your absence, and wondered where my second favourite arachnid had gone (the title of favourite arachnid still goes to @criminalisticonsultant, apologies). So your return is much appreciated. Welcome back, I had missed your questions and comments. But I will miss your old name, @shame-of-chimical. Reminiscent of better times. However, there have been some major changes during your absence. If you want to know more about it, I would advise you to read this post, some further information here, and if you have any more questions please direct them to my consulting assistant @veritassempervincit. But I do have some insects for you, as I have been bee watching last weekend.

Slender Man headcanons?

Slenderman Headcanons

Ooh boy

Probably not the worst boss in the world, not the best one either.

He's so emotionally cold. He tells jokes all the time but no one can tell.

He's about 14 feet tall 😬

He likes to go out and find Proxies and Housemates himself.

He always forgets who he sends on missions and Masky always has to plan it 🤣

He's actually a pretty good father figure. If there were more Slender-type beings I'm sure he would have a couple of kids by now.

Super family oriented, won't admit it.

Sometimes he takes in new Proxies just to baby them. They end up dying quickly though because they think they're safe from him.

He always knows who's in the mansion and who isn't.

He works on the very top floor of the mansion.

Doesn't really need sleep, so he uses his time for virtual meetings with other Urban Legends and High Status Pastas.

Him, Zalgo, and Puppeteer have a FEUD.

No they won't talk good about one another. If you ask what it is, they grumble. 😬

In reality, they're all just power hungry. :/

Doesn't really like the demons in the mansion, but they are good workers, so he keeps them around.

Slender would 100% use his tendrils to do shit. Yes they make the pasta's heads hurt.

Does he give a shit? No.

Since he technically makes the Proxies work, he pays them. Nobody knows where this money is from.

Hint, he robs banks.

Slender used to have an emo-type phase when he was about 6,000 years old. There's drawings of it.

Kills those who find out about the mansion and their loved ones. If you're not dead, chances are you are going to become a Proxy.

He likes to knit items for the housemates. He made Jeff a beanie. Jeff wears it in winter. :>

He is also surprisingly good at cooking, but makes Sadie do it.

I hope these were okay!

I'll take that as a yes! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😇🙂☺️😉😌🤤😏😁🤭😋💯👀👉🏻👈🏻

merry crimemas, what crime are you planning on committing?

sodomy

...Now I really wanna sniff an ahpeloria virginiensis. Thanks. Are there any such awesome awesome critters running around in Germany somewhere by any change? I know that it's being said that theraposidae like the phoneutria and lycosidae like the sparrasidae appearantly wandered to Germany. But so far, I had no luck finding one unfortunately.

do millipedes spray cyanide? i relocated a couple while cleaning my yard and now i'm mildly concerned

the millipedes that release hydrogen cyanide release it as a gas. these include various flat-back millipedes, although there’s plenty of flat-backs that just use a benzoquinone-based fluid defense chemical, which is what many other common millipedes produce (including the round-backed juliforms one often finds in the yard). in either case, you’d need to swallow a millipede for it to do you any great harm.

Apheloria virginiensis is one local to me, and I am guilty of picking them up when on walks in the woods to smell the cyanide: it’s a fragrant scent of almonds or cherries.

cyanide-producing millipedes, since their defense chemical is gaseous, really can’t hurt you unless you’ve already ingested the millipede or are like huffing dozens of them, which would both be probably be actions deserving of consequences.

other millipedes’ liquid chemicals usually just smell foul, like burning rubber. most millipedes under 3-4 cm aren’t going to pack much of a toxic punch at all. some of the larger tropical species in the Spirobolida and Spirostreptida can cause caustic burns if it isn’t washed off soon with detergent or if you have very sensitive skin. I’ve harassed plenty a Narceus and gotten some yellow, later dark purple stains on my hands, but that was the extent of it.

Can I get some headcanons for Soma and/or Ciel exploring a graveyard at night with their s/o. Who knows how they managed to get rid of Angi and Sebastian, I'm sure they'll figure something out..

🎃 Soma:

He will be very excited for the idea—and less when you will actually reach the cemetery. It seemed like a great adventure idea and he is not easily frightened so he agreed without hesitation, right now, however, he will have mixed feelings about it. What if someone catches you? Arrests you? Kills you? The graveyard looked much more peaceful in the daylight, unlike in the middle of the night!

Soma will cling to your arm as if his life depended on it, suddenly remembering about all those scary folktales he head as a child and later on, during travelling arounf the world. What if all those ghosts are real? Can they hurt you anyways? Or just scare you to death?

He will be babbling more than usually, trying to kill the silence with his voice to prevent getting surprised by someone—or something. It will be rather succesful, though, since his tone will make everything want to get away from you, especially after hearing his high-pitched scream when the branch poked him on the shoulder while passing some graves near the trees.

Soma will beg you to come back home after the first few minutes on the cemetery, having enough of the adrenaline for the rest of the year. And prehaps some more, too.

🎃 Ciel:

What is even the point of that? Graveyard is dangerous in the night, this is the place where bandits could hide, after all. Still, he won’t want to ruin your mood and will agree to go exploring, although he will be extremely unwilling to waste the time like this.

After reaching the graveyard, he will mentally pat his own shoulder and admit that he was right from the very beginning—as always—seeing that this place was just perfect to hide from the eyes of rightful men. Good thing, he will bring a gun with him.

He will wander with you through the tombs, lazily taking next steps and wondering why did he even agree for that. Ciel will be completely and utterly bored, it is not like the dead can do you any harm and all the ghosts are nothing more than a fairytale told to the children to keep them calm and quiet. The silence surrounding the graveyard will be rather peaceful, though, as if it was completely divided from the outside world where all his duties and struggles were awaiting for his return.

He will be careful and observing yet relaxed during the whole exploring, knowing that he should protect you when needed, but not allowing the fear to take over his guts. For him, it will be nothing but an unnecessary stroll in the middle of the night, although he will think about your hand firmly holding his for a long time since you will come back to the manor.

He will catch a cold after that.

I hope @consult-sherlockholmes didn't dislocate his hip! Because I sure know what that feels like! Can't you just force Sherlock to let you examine him, @consult-johnhwatson??? 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍✨💯🥹🥺😅😭🥲😳☺️👉🏻👈🏻

In case anyone claims I fell down the stairs, no I did not fall down the stairs. There is no evidence for that. I am much too agile and have too fast reflexes to do such a simple mistake as slip on the stairs.

I feel half dead and for some reason I'm expiriencing dizziness, nausea at the moments, and slight pain in the ear drums at certain movenments. But my sweet little pet crow does make me feel a little better at least.

I've already had an X-ray taken at my wrist as well but nothing could be found. There is also no sweeling or discoloration. Therefore I guess that it's probably just really sprained. But the hip is definitely a problem. 🕷️❤️😭

Bit not good little human moment: I've spontanously decided to jump off my e-scooter yesterday and smooch the pavement. At full force. Now I can't move my wrist anymore and my fingers only partly because it hurts like hell. My left hand is now utterly and completely useless, and my right hip is out of place (again. Hip dysplasia is a bitch). I hope your days have been better than mine... 🕷️❤️😭

Indeed, the limitations of the physical human form, an inconvenience. That happens to me sometimes too, overestimating what my physical form can endure and then damaging it in the process. Sadly we do have to take care of transport, and are trapped in it's limitations. It's probably better to not spontaneously jump of things, I know that from experience. Especially jumping from things moving with high velocity sounds like a recipe for disaster. Be more careful in the future. The damage you are describing sounds significant, you should probably visit a doctor. Until you see a doctor you should try to rest the affected limbs, cool them and take some analgesics. You probably also have skin lesions which you should disinfect too. I hope that the damage is not too bad and just sprains with no permanent damage. I wish for your swift recovery, and that the pain is minimal.