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Ottessa Moshfegh, My Year of Rest and Relaxation

New headcanon that Gareth's hair color changed dramatically as he grew up and by the time he sees his older brothers again he resembles a different relative than whoever he used to look most like, so they don't recognize him but he seems eerily familiar to them

Gawain: You know, you remind me of my younger brother... Gareth [mentally]: He recognizes me! Gawain:...Gaheris. Gareth [mentally]: Facepalms

There used to be a real gothic metal band named Tristania and I don’t know whether that was a coincidence or whether they named it after Tristram’s Tristania. I’m not sure whether I prefer the latter—them appreciating medieval literary characters—or the former—it being a splendid coincidence.

The antidote Palomides procures against death by unrequited love cannot fail to appeal to a modern reader, familiar as we all are with the therapeutic powers inherent in ones creative faculties: 'therewythall he leyde hym downe by the welle, and so began to make a ryme of La Beall Isode and of sir Trystram... [S]ir Palomydes [lay] by the welle and sange lowde and myryly (473-4.86).

— Between Knights: Triangular Desire and Sir Palomides in Sir Thomas Malory's "The Book of Sir Tristram de Lyones" by Olga Burakov Mongan

So the therapeutic powers part is a beautiful interpretation, but also all I can think of now is Tristania modern AU, in which they're all in a band with messy interpersonal relationships and writing songs about each other Fleetwood Mac style.

(Dinadan, the only one not tragically in love with someone, writes weird narrative songs and diss tracks about the people he dislikes)

I can remember, a few years back, getting in a taxi with my grandfather in New York City. He’s one of the kindest, most courteous to strangers people I’ve ever known and was able to establish a good rapport with the taxi driver until the taxi driver put his subtly Jewish name and face together and started blasting a radio channel saying that “all Jews are donkeys”. Even then, even in New York City, you could turn your head and there was antisemitism.

In middle school, I had been spat at and called slurs—but only after I told the other students that I was a Jew. My father’s Scottish surname and ambiguous appearance give me the option of invisibility. I’ve never chosen to hide who I am, but it’s also not immediately obvious, and that made a difference even before the current horrific spike in antisemitism.

Non-Jews, yes, it really is a serious problem. It really should go without saying at this point. It should have gone without saying an incredibly long time ago, but my cousins are receiving death threats and there was a pogrom in California and a twelve-year-old girl got raped and the people doing these horrific (that word doesn’t seem strong enough but I can’t think of a stronger one) things still somehow think they’re in the right and all I can do is try striking metaphorical matches in the dark while knowing the matches are almost certainly dead and that even if they light it’s unlikely that anyone will open their eyes whose eyes weren’t open already.

Jews, stay strong. We will survive this. I hope.

"Ashkenazi" doesn't mean "white-passing." My mother's husband has pale pink skin, blue eyes, and light brown hair. And he is INCREDIBLY visibly Jewish, even before he opens his mouth. His hair is a super curly mess and his facial features are very, very obviously Jewish. When he says anything at all, you can tell that he's a New York City Jew. No kippah, no Magen David (though that might change soon), but his appearance is JEW.

I have been living in fear every day since October 7th. It never occurred to me before then to be afraid for my mother and her husband because of his visible Jewishness in New York City. Yeah, if they were driving through Alabama or something. But in NYC? If someone had suggested it to me, I'd have laughed.

Now I just want to cry.

The back of my Siege Perilous

Going from left to right and down, the symbols stand for Galahad, Percival, Ragnell, Blanchefleur, the Grail Heroine, the Lady of the Lake who gives Arthur Excalibur, Guinier, Gawain, Dinadan, Ector de Maris, Morgan le Fay, Caradoc Briefbras, Griflet, Isolde, Vivian, Taliesin, Tristan, Brunnisend, the Nine Witches, Laudine, the Three Queens or Morgause, Kay, Dagonet, Merlin, Palamedes, Sebile, Guinevere, Igraine, Melora, Yvain, Mordred, and Arthur.

If you’re confused about some or all of them, here’s my rationale/what the symbols are: 

Galahad and Percival have slightly different Grails. I think Ragnell is found sitting under a tree, and another story has Gawain in a relationship with the queen of Avalon, isle of the apples. Blanchefleur means “white flower”. The square with the spiral in it is the Grail Heroine’s box of hair. The sword under the wave is fairly obvious. That is the drinking horn from Guinier’s chastity test. Gawain’s is a SGatGK reference. Dinadan’s is an aro ring. Ector de Maris, Griflet, Kay, and Palamedes all have symbols or patterns from their attributed arms. Morgan le Fay takes Arthur to Avalon on a boat. Caradoc has to be saved from a serpent which is wound around his arm. The torch is a Wagner reference. Nimue traps Merlin, whose symbol is the bird who shares his name, so she is represented by a birdcage. Taliesin got his wisdom from a cauldron, and there’s a cauldron in the Preideu Annwfn. Tristan plays a harp. The formation of the relationship between Brunnisend and her eventual husband is defined by their dire yet mutually exclusive needs for a good night’s sleep. The Nine Witches’ symbol seemed cool and has a threefold element. Laudine has a magic fountain. The evolution of the nature and deeds of Anna/Morcades/Morgause/etc. seemed to sort of go with the Maiden, Matron, Crone archetype and I really couldn’t think of anything else. Dagonet eventually became a jester. Yblis, who has a magic mantle, is Sybil scrambled, and there is a strong modern association between magic and capes. Guinevere is sometimes given authority over the knights of the vergescu. My justification for Igraine’s is particularly weak and would take too long to explain. Melora wields the Lance of Longinus. Yvain befriends a lion. Mordred has a broken table because he helped break the Round Table. Arthur is King.

Arthurian headcanon no. 1: Sir Galahad the Weird and his dubious fashion choices

The canon: 

Percival’s sister, known as the Grail Heroine, makes Galahad a sword belt out of her hair, which was cut off when she became a nun and which she had previously been carrying around in a box because of a prophecy. To the best of my recollection, there is never any mention of him taking it off. 

The headcanon: 

Galahad never stops wearing the hair belt. People notice it but are too weirded out or intimidated to enquire about it, with the possible exception of random old ladies like Dame Clarys. Her reaction to his explanation (something along the lines of, “This was given to me by a most noble lady…no, we are both aroace; she is a nun…was a nun; she’s dead now… I really needed a belt, and she had this box of hair… Why? There was a prophecy…) would be, “That’s nice, dear”, because she too is an icon.

Maybe I should be asking why poisoning is so common there that Kay feels the need (and has the means) to provide poison-proof cups which can feel anger, or how the silver is on fire, and I am now, but the first question which came to my mind was, "What is in the blue stew?" Blueberries? No, that would be indigo or just plain purple. I can't think of any means of dyeing food blue which they would have had in the Middle Ages. Was there some lost technique? Is that one of Kay's powers? If anyone has insight on this one, be it scholarly or humorous, please let me know.

I really appreciate that the Alliterative Morte Arthure is giving Kay a solid 45 lines to go full batshit mad scientist on his feast preparations, featuring

Peacocks, plovers, pork, porcupine, herons, swans, beef, wild boar, barnacle goose, young hawks in bread, cranes, curlews, rabbits

By my rough count, approximately eight different kinds of wine

On-fire blue stews ("wavy with azure sauce all over, they appeared to be flaming")

More fire: "pheasants adorned in flaming silver"

Poison-proof gold cups: ("So that if any poison should go secretly under them [in the cup],/The bright gold would burst all to pieces with anger,/Or else the poison should lose its power because of the virtue of the precious stones")

I love speculating about medieval Welsh poetry! As a Cauldron Kids enthusiast, I'd like to elaborate a little about the poetic bit with Creirwy and Garwy Hir. Here it is in Welsh and English:

Whether Hywel ab Einion Llygliw (yes, a different Hywel) is drawing a parallel between his feelings for Myfanwy Fychan and Garwy's feelings for Creirwy or whether he's referencing two unconnected characters, one known for being beautiful and the other known for an unhappy love life or just a lot of generalized woes, is kind of ambiguous, so while I would be happy to have more Creirwy lore, unless there's some other source which mentions this, I don't think we can say that it's supposed to mean they were in a relationship for certain. There's also another Creirwy, daughter of Saint Gwen the Triple-Breasted, though I don't think she's as likely to be the one referenced here.

I'd also like to add that one really dubious Wikipedia entry claims Myfanwy married Goronwy ap Tudur Hen. This is a fun tidbit because he's yet another guy named Goronwy, though almost certainly not the "Cad Goddeu" poet's pal Goronwy, and because if it were true, that would make her a direct ancestor of the House of Tudor.

Hello, it's me. I am back again to bore you all to utter DEATH.

Okay, so I was doing some reading in my lil book nook and I came across this poem:

(Sorry it's sideways. I hate it too.)

It's Ode Five by Hywel ab Owain Gwynedd (who is awesome in his own right. Might do a post about him if anybody would like it.) Anyways, there are two (2) things that jumped out straight off that I have highlighted:

1. The reference to Ogrfan Fawr who is Gwenhwyfar's dad. It's super interesting to me that it reads a bit like Hywel (or whoever is narrating the poem) uses Ogrfan to imply that he's being kept apart from his lover. (Presumably the fair - pls remember Gwen is another word for fair, or white, in Welsh - shy girl lady he mentions in the second line.)

Who's got fair in their name? Gwenhwyfar. "Okay, Sarah," I imagine you're saying. "Cool stuff. But what the fuck does this have to do with a twelfth-century poet dude and a fictional queen?"

Ah, okay. WELL. LEMME REFER U TO GARWY HIR:

He's the father of Indeg who is one of Arthur's mistresses, AND lover of Creirwy, daughter of Cerridwen. Now, I find the author's insinuation that the poem is specifically about Garwy Hir to be a bit of a stretch, because why tf is Ogrfan mentioned in the same breath as Garwy? They have little connection to each other in all honesty. (And I have never heard of Ogrfan, Garwy, being Cerridwen being connected.)

Well, there's a Very Prominent Lad who is connected to both of those ladies.

ARTHUR!!!!!

Husband to Gwenhwyfar, lover of Indeg. The dumbass boi himself. (Respectfully. He is just... look, a lot of Welsh sources are mixed about him. Gildas has Proper Beef with Arthur cuz he killed his brother. Also, this is the same man who called Maelgwn Gwynedd, 'a sodomitical grape.' So. He's not fuckin about.)

It sounds like - to me - this Ode could be perceived as a quest - much like his quest to Annwfn (Not outside of Hywel's subject matter. Man LOVED to intertwine war and love. Read his Gorhoffedd. You'll see what I mean.) - that's been forgotten about over the intervening centuries. One that Arthur went on to get Gwenhwyfar from her father's hall. Perhaps this is also - maybe - a far older version of the Gwenhwyfar/Guinevere and Melwas/Melegaunt myth, but idk. I cannot say for certain.

Now. You can think that this is all a bit tenuous. It very much is, I grant you. In 'The Arthur of the Welsh,' O.J. Padel suggests that Hywel is imagining himself as a suitor for Gwenhwyfar's hand (entirely fair. Right there with you, fella. I too would want to be a suitor for Gwenhwyfar.) But I think it makes a little more sense for the Ode to be Arthur.

Also, yes, I admit the reference to Gwenhwyfar is an indirect one, and I am running on 12 cups of coffee, and this didn't go anywhere, but still. It's FUN.

Now, go read about Hywel ab Owain Gwynedd, pls!!!!! His dad, Owain Gwynedd, gets compared to Cai, Cynyr, Gwalchmai, and Dillus in an elegy by Cynddelw, while his court at Gwynedd is seen to be like Arthur's at Celli Wig. (Cynddelw did a praise poem about Hywel too, which also contains lots of Arthurian references.)

@usedtobeaduchess Triad 20 is where Arthur as Terror of the Sod comes from.

Arthur has superpowers too (Sort of)

From The Welsh Triads

From Layamon's Brut

From Don Quixote. (Too bad its Post-Camlann...)

Extra Points:

TUMBLRINAS I NEED YOUR HELP!! I’m writing an essay about expectations surrounding romance through the lens of aspec identities for my creative nonfiction class. I have several short interview type questions and I’m trying to collect as many responses as possible.

If you identify as asexual, aromantic, or anywhere on the spectrum pls consider taking a look at this google form:

Google Docs

Aspec Interview

Hi there! I’m an asexual college student somewhere on the aro spectrum. I’m writing a paper on aspec identities and societal expectations su