There Used To Be A Real Gothic Metal Band Named Tristania And I Don’t Know Whether That Was A Coincidence

Sir Kay is what happens when the Planeteers put together their rings without Ma-Ti

Kwame: Earth!

Wheeler: Fire!

Linka: Wind!

Gi: Water!

Kwame: Uh, didn’t we forget someone?

It is too late. They watch in confusion as a figure in antiquated armor rises from the ground.

Kay: With your powers combined, I am Sir Kay!

Linka: Who are you?

Kay: I am one who may endure Fire and Water like no other and grow as tall as the treetops.

Gi: We were trying to summon Captain Planet. Not that we’re not glad to see you. Um. Will you still fight with us?

Kay: Yes, but I will complain constantly and bully the younger ones.

Kwame: Heart. We forgot Heart. HOW ON EARTH DID WE FORGET HEART?!?

A few hours later…

Wheeler: Has it ever occurred to you that you’re a jerk?

Kay: Has it ever occurred to you that you’re me?

Griflet also gets a flower crown, but his is ambiguous.

happy lancelot and his crown of roses day to all who celebrate :)

Arthur's different genealogies from the book "Heroes of the Round Table" by Mike Dixon-Kennedy.

In La Tavola Ritonda, the Orkneys' loyalties are a bit different: all of them except for Mordred are in on trying to reveal the affair, with Gawain as the leader. They prepare an ambush, which Lancelot escapes after killing Agravaine, Gaheris, and eight unnamed knights.

As would be expected, Gawain furiously tries to avenge his brothers—though it isn't quite the same, since he already had a vendetta against Lancelot and might have duelled him anyway.

Regardless, Gareth, presumably still alive but now unimportant to the narrative, is never heard from again.

In a way, Lancelot saved Gareth (and Gaheris) in killing them, bc we will never know if they would've taken Mordred's side. And I think a lot of people in and out of the narrative would like to assume Gareth wouldn't but we don't know and I genuinely believe it could've gone either way. AND in overshadowing their protest in his own actions, Lancelot obscures a key piece of evidence that Gareth and Gaheris might have gone against Arthur.

As much as I love these boys, the most "important*" thing they do is to die, and become martyrs for Gawain's vengeance against Lancelot. And like many martyrs what they actual thought, believed, or would have done stops mattering when the bodies hit the floor....

*or well, memorable. Most impactful on the main through line, and most incorporated across texts and retellings

Fun fact: Assuming you don’t count Tancred, there is no proof that Dagbert ever successfully drowned anyone.

could you tell me about arthur's bastard (and legitimate) children?

(Word of Caution: For various reasons, including inaccessibility of source materials, I am not fully read up on all the details of the source materials involving the following characters. Nor am I aware of all known children of Arthur. Therefore, I should advice discretion)

First are the two major sons, both of whom changed legitimacies as the legend evolved:

Mordred - Originally a nephew by Arthur's full sister Anna/Morgause in Historia Regum Britanniae, Mordred is later converted into Arthur's bastard son, conceived incestuously, in Vulgate Cycle. The Welsh Dream of Rhonabwy suggests that Mordred was fostered by Arthur (a normal practice of both Romans and Celts)

Loholt/Ilinot - First appeared in Erec and Enide and apparently based on the Welsh character of Llacheu, Loholt was originally a Legitimate son of Arthur by Guinevere in Perlesvaus and the German Tradition. But Vulgate Cycle alters this so that Loholt is instead another bastard son by a certain Lisanor prior to Arthur's marriage to Guinevere.

Next are the ones with Unknown Mothers (and thus of ambiguous legitimacy and relationship to Guinevere):

Amr/Amhar - Son of Arthur mentioned in Historum Brittonum as being killed by Arthur himself. His grave is described as naturally changing size with every look, implying supernatural influence. He is also mentioned in the Welsh Geraint, as one of Arthur's Four Chamberlains

Gwydre - Son of Arthur mentioned only in Culhwch and Olwen. He is killed by Twrch Trwyth alongside two maternal uncles of Arthur.

Llacheu - The most celebrated of the Welsh sons of Arthur, with mentions in Pa Gur, The Welsh Triads and other Welsh Poetic Material. Is usually identified with Loholt, with the Welsh adaptation of Perlesvaus - Y Seint Grail - being the most notable in that regard.

Duran - Son of Arthur only found in a 15th Century Welsh Manuscript, where he is said to have perished during the Battle of Camlann

Archfedd - Daughter of Arthur, found in the Welsh genealogical work Bonedd Y Saint, where she is said to have married Llawfrodedd, one of Arthur's warriors, and bore two children, Efadier and Gwrial

Apollonius, Iron and Hilde - Two sons and a daughter found in the 13th Century Icelandic Thidrekssaga.

Aristes - Son of Arthur mentioned in the Old Norse Mottuls saga

Legitimate Children of Arthur (Although not necessarily Guinevere's children)

Samson the Fair and Grega - Son and Daughter of Arthur by his wife, Queen Silvia. Both found in the Norse Samson saga fraga

Adeluf III, Morgan the Black and Patrick the Red - Three sons of Arthur, from Eldest to Youngest, from Rauf de Boun's 14th century chronicle, Petit Brut. Presumbly, sons of Queen Guinevere, but Rauf de Boun fails to mention the name of Arthur's wife. However, Adeluf III is made heir and assumes the Throne of England whilst Patrick and Morgan are given sizable inheritances in the form of Scotland and Wales. (Note: Wikipedia claims they're Arthur's sons by a fairy queen, but the cited source does not say so. Link to source HERE)

Seleucia - Daughter of Arthur by his first wife, Liscanor (Lisanor), in Jorge Ferreira de Vasconcelos' 16th century Portugese novel Memorial das Proezas da Segunda Tavola Redonda. (*This technically makes her the full sister of Lisanor!Loholt) She married Arthur's successor, Sagramor Constantino (a combination of Sir Sagramore and Constantine, son of Cador) and may have even bore a daughter, Princess Licorida

Huncamunca - Daughter of Arthur and his wife, Queen Dollalolla, from Henry Fielding's 1730 Tom Thumb play

Melora - Daughter of Arthur and Guinevere from the Irish romance Eachtra Mhelóra agus Orlando. One of the more well-known daughters of Arthur and one of the very few warrior women in Arthuriana.

Merevie/Smerbe/Smerviemore - Son of Arthur by his second marriage to a french princess, Elizabeth. Figures primarily in the genealogical legends of Scottish Clan Campbell, who claim descent from Arthur through Smervie.

Rowland, Ellen and Two unnamed older brothers - Certain versions of the Ballad of Childe Rowland and Burd Ellen portray them as the sons and daughter of Arthur and Guinevere, apparently due to the mention of Merlin.

Tryphine's son and daughter - A certain mystery play collected by François-Marie Luzel in 1863 merges Saint Tryphine from the Conomor legend with aspects of Queen Guinevere, with the primary antagonist being the lady's brother Kervoura. The two children are unnamed, but the son goes by an alias, "the Malouin"

Iduna - Daughter of Arthur and Guinevere from Edgar (1839), by Adolph Schutt

Blandine - Daughter of Arthur and Guinevere from Les Chevaliers de la Table Ronde (1937), by Jean Cocteau

Bastard Children of Arthur:

Kyduan/Cydfan - Son of Arthur by Eleich ferch Iaen. Mentioned in Culhwch and Olwen and Bonedd yr Arwyr

Arthur le Petit - Son of Arthur from Post-Vulgate, born of Arthur's deliberate rape of a daughter of Sir Tanas. Arthur le Petit serves as a "good" counterpart to Sir Mordred. He loyally serves his father incognito for many years and despises Lancelot's faction for causing the destruction of Logres. He is slain by Sir Bleoberis.

Tom a Lincoln - Eponymous hero of the 16th century romance Tom a Lincoln, by Richard Johnson. Son of Arthur by Angelica, a daughter of the Mayor of London. Fathers two additional characters, the Black Knight and the Faerie Knight.

Gyneth - Daughter of Arthur by a half-genie named Guendolen. From Walter Scott's The Bridal of Triermain (1813). A huntress whose Marriage competition results in the death of many knights including Vanoc, who is implied to be Merlin's son. As a result, Merlin puts her into an enchanted sleep for many centuries until her true love awakens her with a kiss.

And finally, those with a tenuous link to Arthuriana:

Nathalia - a supposed daughter of Arthur who accompanied St. Ursula according to De Sancta Ursula: De undecim milibus Virginum martirum (1183), by Herman Joseph

Baeddo - Wife of the Visigothic Spanish king Reccared. Claimed to be a daughter of Arthur by Compendio Historial, by Esteban de Garibay y Zamalloa

Tortolina - a daughter of Arthur according to Pantochronachanon (1652), by Thomas Urquhart

*(Additional Source link about the Daughters of King Arthur: HERE)

The funny thing is that in Knight of the Parrot, Arthur leaves KING LOT HIMSELF in charge and somehow everything turns out swell.

i’ll leave my nephew in control of the kingdom while i go to fight in rome it’ll be fine 

This is a crime.

Being overly invested in the lives of mildly obscure Arthurian characters is like “If you ship Caradoc with anyone other than Guinier or Dinadan with anyone at all then so help me I will go rampaging through the countryside like Lancelot, Tristan, Merlin, Roland (no, not Roland, Roland is a Paladin, to heck with Roland), Dagonet, Yvain…”

In further research into Yiddish collections of Arthuriana, my father found a story of Gawain. You'll never guess what it is, I guarantee. Go on, guess. You're wrong.

It's a Yiddish story about Sir Gawain becoming Emperor of China.