I Don’t Put My Own Propaganda On The Poll Blog, But This Is Technically A Separate Blog, So I Think

Arthuriana ask game!!

bc why not

♘ Favourite Knight/King

🫅Favorite Lady/Damsol/Queen

💚 Favorite Quest/Story Arc

✒A Medieval Text You Like

📚A Retelling/Modern Work You Like

📽Recommend a book/movie/tv show etc

💛A Sibling Group/Dynamic That IS NOT The Orkneys

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿Okay Now You Can Talk About Orkneys

😤Your Most Specific Nitpick About Your Fave (anything from "Gareth would not have a beard" to "this is basically a different guy")

🥰An Arthuriana Headcanon

😏Gawain?

🥖Favorite French/du lac (Lancelot, Hector de Maris, Bors, Lionel, Galahad, ect)

👨‍👦Favorite Parent

🗡️Who Are You Betting On In This Month's Tournament?

🙏Pick A Grail Knight

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿Pick A Pelli Spawn (Percival, Aglovale, Tor, Lamorak, Aylane, Dindrane, Donar, ect)

💏Crack Ship (s)

🫂Platonic Ship(s)

In which I treat obscure characters like they have their own fandoms, No. 1

The Melora + Orlando ship should be called Valor. I can think of a few reasons why:

It’s a biblical reference, which seems in keeping with the story’s themes, considering that Melora has the Lance of Longinus. “A woman of valor who can find? She is to be valued above rubies” is quite fitting, given Melora’s association with a carbuncle (another red stone).

Both of their names contain “or”.

Melorlando is a bit of a mouthful. Valor, on the other hand, is easy to say and sounds adventurous.

The Poet's Corner Window at Westminster Abbey, designed by Graham Jones, with diamonds for Alexander Pope, Oscar Wilde, Christopher Marlowe, Elizabeth Gaskell, Robert Herrick, A.E. Housman, and Frances Burney (descending, left then right)

I just thought of something which might be really obvious. In the Morte d’Arthur (which I, admittedly, still haven’t read in full), Palamedes and Safir side with Lancelot against Arthur. When I first read that, I thought it seemed slightly random. What just occurred to me is that it makes a lot of sense through the lens of Tristan and Isolde’s death, assuming Palamedes that has made his peace with them and that they’ve already died. Lancelot and Guinevere have some notable parallels with Palamedes’ late friends, and he’s doing what he can to save them the way he couldn’t Tristan and Isolde.

Fun fact: the musician who sang “Puberty Love” in Attack of the Killer Tomatoes was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Of course, he’s also the drummer for Pearl Jam, but it’s less entertaining when you put it that way.

I would, too.

Movie/Tv Show/Anime idea: An Action Adventure where Aliens invade Earth but it’s way back in the past, Specifically Camelot during the height of Arthur’s Reign. Now instead of eliminating or toning down the more mystical aspects of Arthurian Legend we lean into them.

Sir Kay grabs his sword and starts heating it up to make a makeshift lightsaber before growing to his giant size and slicing through alien ground troops like they’re paper.

Gawain and Ironside (the Red Knight) are just tossing aliens around like nothing with their superhuman strength. Then when the sun sets and the aliens think they have the upper hand over Gawain who loses his incredible strength at night, they hear a wolf’s howl before being attacked by Sir Marrok the werewolf.

Sir Bedwyr piercing the Aliens’ superior technology with his magic lance before darting away like the Flash, Sir Ywain using his battle lion to defend the court, etc.

Even Merlin gets in on the action, using his extensive magic to create illusions and fireballs. Morgan Le Fay even comes out of the woodwork to help, summoning lightning to attack the aliens’ ships.

Arthur, still in possession of Excalibur’s scabbard, tries to initially greet the invaders, only for them to blast him with a plasma cannon. As the smoke clears, Arthur is unharmed but his horse is a pile of ash. Arthur just looks at the alien spaceship and says, “that was my favorite horse.”

In the final battle, right when it seems like the aliens have the upper hand, one of their spaceships crashes to the ground unexpectedly. Out of the crashed spaceship comes Sir Galahad wielding a sword clearly made out of alien technology. Turns out what Sirs Percival and Bors thought was Galahad ascending to Heaven was actually him being abducted by aliens, and he stowed away when he found out they were coming back to destroy Camelot. The Knights, now emboldened by Galahad’s return start pushing the invading forces back. Galahad actually goes to the Round Table at some point, finds the Siege Perilous, and breaks the back of it off to make a makeshift shield/vaporizing weapon.

Anyway the Knights win, Galahad decides he needs to go back to free all the Aliens’ captives and lead a rebellion against their oppressive empire. He also says he’ll tell all the stars what awaits them should anyone try to invade the Earth.

I’d watch that.

✨🧡🌙SEND THIS TO OTHER BLOGGERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL. KEEP THE GAME GOING ✨🧡

Thank you so much!

In La Tavola Ritonda, the Orkneys' loyalties are a bit different: all of them except for Mordred are in on trying to reveal the affair, with Gawain as the leader. They prepare an ambush, which Lancelot escapes after killing Agravaine, Gaheris, and eight unnamed knights.

As would be expected, Gawain furiously tries to avenge his brothers—though it isn't quite the same, since he already had a vendetta against Lancelot and might have duelled him anyway.

Regardless, Gareth, presumably still alive but now unimportant to the narrative, is never heard from again.

In a way, Lancelot saved Gareth (and Gaheris) in killing them, bc we will never know if they would've taken Mordred's side. And I think a lot of people in and out of the narrative would like to assume Gareth wouldn't but we don't know and I genuinely believe it could've gone either way. AND in overshadowing their protest in his own actions, Lancelot obscures a key piece of evidence that Gareth and Gaheris might have gone against Arthur.

As much as I love these boys, the most "important*" thing they do is to die, and become martyrs for Gawain's vengeance against Lancelot. And like many martyrs what they actual thought, believed, or would have done stops mattering when the bodies hit the floor....

*or well, memorable. Most impactful on the main through line, and most incorporated across texts and retellings

And now, for the most niche poll I’ve ever posted or even encountered on this website:

why are all the Jews suddenly posting about cheesecake, you ask? because it’s Shavuot!

sorry, let me give you a quick guide to Jewish holidays

Rosh Hashanah: dip apples in honey, contemplate feeling guilty

Yom Kippur: feel guilty, don’t eat

Sukkot: build a treehouse, shake a lemon at God

Simchat Torah: dance with a Torah scroll

Hanukkah: resist tyranny, eat fried food, set things on fire

Tu B’shvat: hug trees, eat every type of fruit and nut you can acquire, do complicated wine math

Purim: put on a drunken play about a teenage beauty queen, cast shade at tyrants

Passover: don’t eat pastry

Maimuna: eat a ton of pastry

Lag B’omer: set things on fire, shoot arrows, learn about rabbis with laser eyes

Shavuot: eat cheese and stay up all night reading with your female friends

Tisha B’av: mourn, preferably AT people

Hope that clears up any confusion