How Can I Be Embarrassed About My Music Taste Whennit Is Objectively The Best?

this from the guy who wrote the sting pain index, a scale he constructed after letting himself be stung by insects

Afrikaans has some great ones to!

"searching for a sausage in the doghouse." To look for a thing that you cannot really find

"get a baboon from behind the hill" talk about problems that haven’t happened yet and so possibly making them happen.

"Scratch a lion’s ball with a short stick" Being arrogant or to push ur luck

"Talk a dog out of a bush" To have a great conversation

"All jokes on a stick" All joking aside

"The jackal is marrying the wolf’s wife" Used when it’s raining and the sun shines at the same time

"Stick a spoon on the roof"a sign of someone dying

"The robe of the dead has no pockets" Your possessions mean nothing once you are dead

" walk two rows of tracks" Very drunk (and visibly stumbling around)

"Talk a hole in the head of someone" Persuade someone

"The bullet went through the church" Used when someone is madly in love. (mcr has to use this sometime)

Stage 1: using your native language's idioms in English out of habit/lack of knowledge

Stage 2: using English idioms as much as you can to prove that you're good at English

Stage 3: using your native language's idioms in English because they fuck actually

Once a little boy went to school. One morning The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. He liked to make all kinds; Lions and tigers, Chickens and cows, Trains and boats; And he took out his box of crayons And began to draw.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make flowers.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make beautiful ones With his pink and orange and blue crayons. But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And it was red, with a green stem. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower Then he looked at his own flower. He liked his flower better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just turned his paper over, And made a flower like the teacher’s. It was red, with a green stem.

On another day The teacher said: “Today we are going to make something with clay.” “Good!” thought the little boy; He liked clay. He could make all kinds of things with clay: Snakes and snowmen, Elephants and mice, Cars and trucks And he began to pull and pinch His ball of clay.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make a dish.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make dishes. And he began to make some That were all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And she showed everyone how to make One deep dish. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish; Then he looked at his own. He liked his better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just rolled his clay into a big ball again And made a dish like the teacher’s. It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon The little boy learned to wait, And to watch And to make things just like the teacher. And pretty soon He didn’t make things of his own anymore.

Then it happened That the little boy and his family Moved to another house, In another city, And the little boy Had to go to another school.

The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. And he waited for the teacher To tell what to do. But the teacher didn’t say anything. She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?” “Yes,” said the little boy. “What are we going to make?” “I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher. “How shall I make it?” asked the little boy. “Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher. “And any color?” asked the little boy. “Any color,” said the teacher. And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.

~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy

and his eyebrows are black

WAR IS OVER

cant wait for the new Apple Bone Music feature to launch

While I’m on an absolute contemporary art kick, let’s talk about the Handphone Table by Laurie Anderson.

Originally created in the late 1970’s, visitors entering the exhibit room would stumble upon an wooden table, a few chairs and a photo on the wall depicting two patrons at the same table with their elbows up and hands over their ears.

Naturally most visitors would sit down at the table and try to match the people in the picture. And in doing so, they would be quite surprised to hear Anderson’s voice coming through their hands as if she was entering their consciousness.

What they didn’t know was Anderson had installed a secret, special speaker inside the table that transmitted sound vibrations through solid material rather than air. That is to say, the listeners’ bones conducted her recorded voice.

It was a way for a performance artist to be invisible and yet still present…inside a visitor’s head.

I stumbled upon an alternate, updated version of this artwork at the Hirshhorn, where instead of her voice, I heard her droning, experimental music vibrating up my arms and into my ears (among many talents, she is also a composer). Still just as trippy and deliciously creepy though. ;)

cannibalism is hot when you gay, tryhard when you're straight, beautiful when you're hozier and very funny when you're aroace

Alastor being aroace makes his dynamic with Vox like 100% funnier. It's a villain rivalry, you immediately know people will look at these two and think "they crave each other carnally", except only one of them has the capacity for it. Which is the perfect set up for a ridiculous one-sided obsession, but then Alastor is shown to be acting way more unbothered by Vox than he actually is. Dude is walking the streets of Hell menacingly staring into cameras and doesn't even have the excuse of homosexuality. Both of these fuckers are goofy as hell.

HAPPY ACE WEEK FUCKN’TS

HAPPY ACE WEEK FUCKERS

why are these fitness adds promoting the furry lifestyle

ok nvm what they did was way funnier

please tell me this is the reunion. i dont want anything but for this to be the first interaction they've had since breaking up