No More Ocean View. >D

Teen Bruce (actually just me projecting lol sorry y'all)

Bruce: *gets thrown a condom in the middle of class by a classmate* wtf do you expect me to do with this???? Like I have a gf??? Or a dick?

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Bruce, *internally*: Maybe if I sit really still the teacher will forget I'm here and I won't have to take the exam

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Barbara: what kind of music are ya listening to?

Jason: radio static, because it's the only thing that accurately portrays my thoughts and feelings about this prison of a reality

Bruce: amen kiddo ill drink to that

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Bruce: this literally tastes like ass

Ollie: how would you know what ass tastes like lol?

Bruce: you've SEEN my snapchat Oliver, figure it out.

--

Bruce, *texting*: alfie pls come pick me up before I eat a fourth orange

this one time when all his kids finally let him have some peace and he’s still not sleeping himself

do people just. forget how nice Bruce is

he has literally done so much

and he may be strict as batman, but he's strict with the justice league too, because he has too, no one else would, and if no one else did they would all fucking die

when I say he makes mistakes I mean not communicating clearly with dick and Jason, making dick feel like he was replaced even though that wasnt his intention, making Jason feel like joker was more important even though that wasnt his intention

Bruce adopted Jason not because he was looking for a new partner, a new kid, but because he saw a kid who needed help and also a need to do more than they're capable of and he can't just leave him be

he does the same to dick, he's not adopting dick to replace his parents, not adopting Jason go replace dick, not adopting Tim to replace Jason

Jason doesn't know yet why Bruce couldn't kill, but he does now

and it pisses me off when people portray Bruce as a shitty person, as a shitty dad

because he's not, and the animated stuff shows that perfectly

kid shows are usually better because they're not shying away from vulnerability and being NICE

I'm all for darker shows but I'm getting really tired of edgy and "mature" content with no emotion other than rage and anger

but that's not what batman is god fucking damnit

and I hate that some of the comics and games and movies fuels this fucking misconception of batman

to throw away Bruce's empathy, his kindness and compassion, is like throwing away his entire fucking character

batman is great BECAUSE of his contradictions, human yet strong, feared yet respected, violent but gentle, striking fear into the criminals of Gotham but providing comfort to the innocent, that is what makes him great.

why do you fucking think he's doing this?????? do you really think he would pour his heart and fucking soul just because ohh haha punching bad guys bad coping mechanism no it's because he fucking CARES. he pours his heart and soul into saving Gotham because he fucking cares. both as Bruce and as batman, he knows he can't do some stuff just as Bruce, on the side of law, because of his fragile public image, and he can't do everything as batman, sometimes he would need to go by the law to fully help, both sides of him are still him, both sides of him are compassionate and full of kindness and he does NOT FUCKING HELP AND LOVE AND CARE JUST FOR SOME IGNORANT FUCKS TO THINK HES AN UNFEELING COLD HEARTED PERSON.

the reason he's doing this at first is because of his parents, his parents goal were always to make Gotham a better place, and he wants to continue his mission, he did not fucking master everything for 17 years just for you fucks to think this doesn't matter to him. that Gotham doesn't matter to him. that the people doesn't matter to him. that he doesn't care. he didnt think so far to keep the justice league safe and for the kids he saved to not fear him just for you to think he's a violent man beating peace of shit. he did not fucking take in kids who needed a parental figure in their lives, who needed to do things more than they can right now, who would do things they would surely regret in the future, or who would turn out much worse without him, just for you to fucking think that he would abuse them and treat them like garbage.

batman isn't fucking crazy. he isn't unhinged. he's not punch first ask later. dude if he could he fucking would solve things out peacefully and by the law as Bruce but he fucking can't. he's literally THE FUCKING BRAINS OF JUSTICE LEAGUE. AND YOU THINK HES VIOLENT???? the reason people think he's oOoo sO viOlEnt IS BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO PUT IN MORE FUCKING EFFORT TO TAKE DOWN HIS ENEMIES. HE CAN'T JUST NONCHALANTLY DEFLECT BULLETS LIKE SUPERMAN. HE CANT JUST STRIKE FEAR INTO CRIMINALS BECAUSE THEY FEAR HIS POWERS BECAUSE HE HAS NONE. HES SO VIOLENT BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO BE. HE CANT JUST WALK UP TO SOME PEOPLE AND TAKE THE GUN OUT OF THEIR HANDS AND BE LIKE LOL SCRAM. HE NEEDS TO ACTUALLY TAKE THEM DOWN??? USING STEALTH??? AND INTELLIGENCE??? AND PLANNING??? HE DOESNT FUCKING BEAT DOWN EVERYONE??? MAYBE MAKE THEM UNCONSCIOUS YEAH BUT HES ONLY VIOLENT TO PEOPLE WHOS LITERALLY TRYING TO KILL HIM?????

BATMAN ISN'T GOING TO FUCKING LOSE IT AT THE NEXT SECOND, ONE OF HIS STRENGTHS IS HIS AMAZING GODDAMN SELF CONTROL AND WILL. HES MUCH MORE SANE THAN WHAT PEOPLE THINK.

do you REALLY fucking think that Alfred would let Bruce fucking abuse his kids.

do you REALLY fucking think that Bruce would adopt these kids just for him to ruin their fucking lives?

Bruce did not fucking give rogues a second chance at life, to just want the best for them, to want the best for his children, to give a support group for the adult heroes and give them resources they couldn't have on their own, to use his riches to make Gotham a better place, who uses his strength and intelligence to save people, just for you all to fucking talk shit about him

people fucking forget that Bruce doesn't want his kids to be crimefighting, that without him they would all be fucking dead in an alley anyways, dick would be stuck in a fucking system that doesn't care about him, and if he finds out who his parents killers are, would foolishly think he can take them down, but he fucking can't, and Jason was a crime alley kid, he would get stuck in a middle of something and fucking die a meaningless death with no one to fucking care for him, Tim would be stuck with his parents negligence, until the future, with no siblings no father no grandfather to care for him, until he had to take over his parents job, until he had to die living a life he did not enjoy. Stephanie would've suffered because she had a fucking villain as her dad, she would receive consequences no matter the fucking outcome. Cassandra is even worst, being abused by your parents who are the world's best assassin is going to fucking suck obviously and she would've been another fucking assassin and done so much worse if bruce wasn't there. dick would've ran off and try to avenge his parents anyways, except he doesn't have any training and will get himself killed. Bruce begged Tim to not become a robin, not after Jason's death, not after he lost his son.

he's not forcing any of his kids to be a vigilante, it's the fucking opposite of that

he's just so kind and I wish more people saw that

Honestly we really need more Bruce and Zatanna being childhood friends fics

My little emo boys 🙃

by 馄饨夹生

The Batman:

Bruce Wayne:

Alfred, dying (but this will NEVER happen cuz Alfred is invincible): Goodbye... I love you all...

Dick, crying: Alfred!! No! You can't die!!

Damien: Yes Alfred! We can't survive!!

Alfred, weakly: You'll be alright...

Jason: We really won't be

Alfred: Master Bruce will take care of you.

Bruce: I really can't

Tim: Yeah, remember that one time where Bruce was making cereal.

Alfred: What's wrong with that?

Dick: ...he burnt the whole kitchen...

Bruce: Ok! That was one time!

Jason: But what about the time where you burnt the toast? Or when you forgot to cook?

Bruce: ...

Alfred: ...

Alfred: Alright you guys won't survive.

Any of the batkids: I'm-

Dad!Bruce: Hungry? Tired? Thirsty? Scared? whaT ARE YOU

the only thing you need to know about the batman movie is that this bruce is dumb enough, emo enough, and guilty enough to adopt an acrobatic orphan and think it’s absolutely the right decision