Okay But Jon Is Like Mostly Scar Tissue By The End?? Counting Off Things That Probably Scarred:

Is Aziraphale a alpha?

He is the Alpha and the Omega.

As far as i can tell, there are three main reasons people like rocks:

1: spiritual

2: geology

3: shiny

People who fall into one (or more) of these categories get equally excited about rocks, just different rocks and for different reasons. We need more rock appreciation in the world

Michael’s hair is actually fiberglass. It looks soft and interesting to touch but then you touch it and oops glass in your fingers

There’s arcane content on my dash and I don’t understand it but people seem to be having a good time screaming about their faves being in situations. I support 👍

I know that realistically you can only fit so many movies into a list of approximately 100, but I cannot take that "How many of tumblr's favorite movies have you seen?" list that's been going around seriously because there are some truly egregious omissions.

Some of it is very clearly recency bias, which makes me wonder if the op truly wasn't on here in 2013 or so, but you're telling me you made a list of "tumblr's favorite movies" that doesn't include Pacific Rim or Mad Max: Fury Road? Because, like, I was there, Gandalf.

The Distortion would have become Helen regardless of if it had ever become Michael or not.

Think about it. Real estate is a pretty fun place to be an erronious door. Helen Richardson would probably have walked through as in canon, even without Michael to lure her in, and we know that her reaction was to make a map. So she makes a map, gets taken back after giving her Statement, (Jon never gets the “do you even know they’re lying to you” warning,) and she Becomes. Ta-da, Helen Distortion, no Michael involved at all.

I am *obsessed* with the trope of fictional couples that swap a piece of their aesthetic. Like spinerella and netossa wearing necklaces of each other’s main colour. Feels so much more meaningful than a gold ring. Who knows if either of you even like gold? Or rings?

Anyways, doorkeay where michael has one (1) black leather bracelet that it intentionally doesn’t twist, and gerry has one (1) confusing friendship-bracelet-thing that subtly changes every time you look at it

I was having complex thoughts about the distortion, truly expanding my concept of reality by way of the funny gay door thing, and then i got distracted and forgor

One thing we don’t talk about enough is that michael distortion looks… basically normal. Like canonically.

Wiki excerpt: “Michael is a very tall man, approximately 6.5 feet, with a round face. His hair is blonde and forms ringlets that come down to his shoulders.”

He only looks like our silly horror guy with knife hands when viewed through reflections or warped glass. So technically almost all fanart done of michael is actually a reflection of a much more normal-looking drawing of a random blonde guy.

New experience: browsing tumblr, reading some long thread, had to put my phone down for a minute, left it on because I was going to pick it back up in a minute anyway. Watched as someone glanced at my phone, and realized I had forgotten what I was reading. Until I was able to get it back and check, I was stuck wondering if they’d seen detailed fandom analyses (branding me as a nerd) or ridiculous essays on linguistics (also branding me as a nerd) when they looked at my phone