Thoughtful Response

real intimacy

I love when you become so close with someone that you can see parts of each other in one another and you begin to say the same things and steal lines from one another and have a similar sense of humor and can exchange an inside joke with just a glance you don’t even have to talk because you have such a strong connection with them and you can sit in comfortable silence but also talk for hours it’s really hard to find that kind of compatibility

[Description of image: there’s a soldier standing in full body armor because it’s his/her job to defuse bombs. The soldier looks like an astronaut because the suit is so thick and heavy and includes a helmet and dark glass shield over the face. Next to the soldier there is a robot device with a gun and camera. The robot device would be controlled remotely by the soldier.]

I sometimes feel like the character in The Hurt Locker. As a queer autistic person, I feel I have to get suited up in protective armor before entering the heteronormative world. I never know if I’m going to set off a trigger in their normal world, which will cause them to blow up at me and say, “That’s so inappropriate!” or “You’re so childish” or ridiculous or annoying. Those are bombs exploding in my face. But the triggers are hidden and I don’t know the rules for avoiding them. So their normal world is like a minefield for me. 

[Image description: a huge whirlpool of blue water with white waves and ripples. It looks like the ocean is draining out like someone pulled the stopper out of a huge bathtub. End of image description.] VORTEX DAYS A vortex day is a day where one appointment suck all your energy up for the entire day before and after. For example, today I went out for Japanese class which I really enjoy, but from the moment I wake up I have to start fighting with my own irrational negative thoughts that say: “No, it’s too difficult, it’s not worth it, no one will miss you if you don’t go, just stay home.” Then in the midst of this tug-of-war, practical preparations have to be made: my hair is a mess; where the heck is my hairbrush? Oh no, better feed the cat first. I should wash my face...but ugh, no, I don’t want to see how ugly I am. Let’s have a Klonopin and sit down for a while. Oh no, I fell asleep! I’m already late! Rush out the door tripping over things and cursing like a sailor. I do enjoy Japanese class, but when I get back the rest of the day is devoted to recovery. Curl into a ball, pull my hat over my eyes, twist and turn my tangle toy into and out of a thousand knots. Light my butterscotch scented candle, turn on the humidifier, turn on the air purifier and the white noise machine. Ah, finally I’m back in my space capsule. Expeditions to Earth take a lot out of a fragile alien visitor like me!

さむい by りー

Peony and Iris by Hanne Lore Koehler

i am a daughter of the mothership

Shitpost of the day...

Stimming is how autistic people communicate with the autism mothership.

Sometimes noise is all consuming and you can feel yourself fading out of reality.

Lovely!

so handsome!

keira smirking with those cheekbones: im gonna give the gays everything they want