Being A DS9 Fan Is This Constant Search For Little Pieces Of Production Knowledge That Depress The Fuck

Random Headcanon: That Federation vessels in Star Trek seem to experience bizarre malfunctions with such overwhelming frequency isn’t just an artefact of the television serial format. Rather, it’s because the Federation as a culture are a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles, tooling around in ships packed full of beyond-cutting-edge tech they don’t really understand. Endlessly frustrating if you have to fight them, because they can pull an effectively unlimited number of bullshit space-magic countermeasures out of their arses - but they’re as likely as not to give themselves a lethal five-dimensional wedgie in the process. All those rampant holograms and warp core malfunctions and accidentally-traveling-back-in-time incidents? That doesn’t actually happen to anyone else; it’s literally just Federation vessels that go off the rails like that. And they do so on a fairly regular basis.

Spock: fuck OFF lady

Kirk: babe ilysm rn

“I’ve got to get to the captain!” ft. spock having all the grace of a newborn giraffe learning to walk

Two years ago, the first episode of Star Trek: Lower Decks had aired, and the world was introduced to the charming bunch of plucky ensigns of the USS Cerritos.

To celebrate this occasion and the upcoming crossover with Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, here's a little comic—based on a script by CEO of Star Trek and a sketch I made, brought to life by the amazing talent of @serial02721—that revisits one of the show's most iconic scenes. We'd like to thank Tawny Newsome and Jack Quaid for the work they put into their characters, Mike McMahan for being the creative mind behind the show, Dave Ihlenfeld for writing this beautiful scene, and the rest of the cast and crew for giving us this awesome cartoon!

i allow myself one suicide joke a month because a well-placed “i’m going to kill myself” can be REALLY funny but like for real yall, if you’re suicidal or depressed in any capacity, or even if you aren’t, if you make suicide jokes constantly your brain will internalize it and you will actually want to kill yourself. which you don’t want to do. and if you stop making suicide jokes then you will feel better. same with any kind of self deprecation— stop doing it and you will start to feel better. i’ve been suicidal at several points in my life and i can guarantee you from personal experience that it fucking works. stop making kms jokes every day and your life will improve. and other people get uncomfortable when you make kms jokes constantly. be nicer to yourself

Hot Take: the reason why 'Lower Decks' (and 'The Orville') "feel more like Star Trek" than do 'Discovery' or 'Picard' is because the baseline for American drama series has gotten so dark over the last twenty years that a tone matching 90s Star Trek can now only be achieved by marketing it as a comedy.

And yes, when you think about it, that's...kind of sad.

Snw Spock needs more sass. We want judgy eyebrow raises and snarky comments poorly disguised by logic

I love Spock I love him soooo much they were like let’s make a character that’s nerdy and a pacifist and a vegetarian and he’s also a mommas boy and a sensitive musician. But he should also be. A straight up Bitch

What if Scotty is not actually Scottish, though? 

Like, what if his name just happens to be Montgomery Scott, so all of his friends started calling him “Scotty,” and then every time he was introduced to a new person, they would be like “Oh, are you Scottish? My uncle was Scottish!”

And finally, he just gets sick of explaining the situation, so he starts replying with “aye, laddie!” But then it turns out that the person he said that to was Captain Kirk, and he doesn’t want to admit that he lied to his new commanding officer, so he has to keep speaking in a ridiculously over-the-top brogue and commenting constantly on how much he loves drinking Scotch, and by the time that he realises that Kirk would have found humour in the situation, he’s in too deep and can’t stop pretending, and it gradually just becomes his normal speech pattern.

Then, years later, the Enterprise is being inspected by a Starfleet engineer who’s actually Scottish, and Scotty takes him on a walking tour of his warp engines and is all like “Auch! Here be me wee bairns!” and the other engineer is just like “what the fuck is wrong with you?”

I take the fact that James Doohan is Canadian as evidence of this theory.