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run, Pete, run. for @kissporsche

VegasPete + text posts (pt. 27/28)

it wasn't supposed to end like this

[on youtube]

I need to draw men being obnoxious to their partners and getting In The Way right now immediately.

The voyage west at the end of Return of the King is extremely funny to me, because just look at who's on board. You've got:

Frodo Baggins, hero of the Shire, in need of healing but also excited to see Valinor and meet the legendary elves who live there, a gentle soul

Elrond Halfelven, as kind as a summer, looking forward to peace west of the sea, probably wants to go chill out in a cottage with his wife for the next thousand years

Which seems fine. And then we get to everyone else.

Gandalf, cheeky bastard who's gotten so used to being a weird old wizard in Middle-Earth that's he's forgotten what Maia are supposed to act like, will immediately cause problems

Bilbo Baggins, noted storyteller, definitely planning to break into Aule's halls to see his dwarf friends, will ask all the elves weird questions and then sing about their lives and deaths in front of them, will immediately cause problems

Galadriel, who came to Aman half for Celebrian and Elrond's sake and half to taunt all her cousins about being the only one of them to survive the First Age, enjoys causing problems, will immediately cause many problems

(Also, to be clear, these are not three isolated problem-causers, they absolutely spent the entire trip to Valinor actively planning to give Amanyar society and the Valar an aneurysm.)

I just love the idea of Elrond, now reunited with Celebrian, and Frodo happily having tea with Elwing and Earendil, with nothing to interrupt them but the gentle sounds of the tides.

Meanwhile Galariel, Bilbo, and Gandalf are collectively bullying Mandos into releasing Maglor Feanorian from the halls because:

Bilbo wants to read him his translation of the Noldolante, which is written as a cheery Hobbit drinking song

Elrond always complained about how Gandalf and Maglor were both insufferably vague about advice and Gandalf needs to make sure he's more infuriating than Maglor as a matter of his wizardly pride

He still owes Galadriel money

So I have this idea for a fix-it, right?

For whatever reason, Alpha-17 visits Coruscant towards the end of the war. Possibly after the Fives incident? Maybe that’s the reason he’s visiting in the first place, actually, because he heard about that. Anyway, he turns up in the Coruscant Guard base with zero warning and heads straight for Fox.

Fox has been trying so hard to keep it all together but one glimpse of his dad older brother’s face and he violently bursts into sobbing right then and there. There’s probably an audience.

Now Alpha-17. Big, legendary, terrifying Alpha-class clone Seventeen sees one of his babies burst into tears and that’s all he needs to know. Does not matter that Fox is a full grown adult Marshall Commander or that there are a bunch of other clones around, that is his baby and he is crying and so Seventeen picks him up and cradles him and lets Fox sob into his neck and between hushing Fox and cooing to him he quietly demands with his eyeballs to be directed to Fox’s quarters so they can have some privacy.

The entire Coruscant Guard would die for Seventeen without hesitation, now, and happily sends him to the Commanders’ bunkroom.

Seventeen manages to deduce which bunk is Fox’s and parks them both in it and then just holds Fox and lets him sob himself out. Fox is doing the kind of wailing-crying that is so intense he nearly makes himself throw up a few times. He just kind of rocks Fox back and forth and rubs his back and tells him it’s okay, Seventeen is here now, he’s gonna take care of everything, let it all out, etc.

Once Fox is spent, Seventeen borrows his comm and asks someone to send some food and water for Fox and then gets to work getting him in bed. He takes off his armor and tries to convince him to get into sleep clothes—you don’t have any pajamas? Alright, a fresh set of blacks, then.

Alpha-17 has already seen the grey hair and the dark circles and the facial scars and he Has Some Concerns. But the scars on Fox’s body, not to mention how thin he is…

Seventeen gets him to eat and drink as much as he can, and then tucks him in and cuddles him until he falls asleep. Then he comms the other Coruscant Guard Commanders and very calmly asks them who needs to die for this.

The Guard’s collective impulse control is soundly asleep and they have an enraged Alpha-class clone on their side. Palpatine will never even get the chance to see what hit him.

shijie coming for jin zixun’s entire life by first respectfully apologizing to him, then raising him up to the height of pure smugness, letting him haughtily soak in his perceived win for a brief victorious moment, before swiftly and cleanly cutting off his balls in front of all these irrelevant ass men who think they can talk shit about her little brother in her presence is literally the greatest takedown of all time. we stan a queen and her name is jiang yanli.

If ur ever confused over why Armand is acting that way and doing all those crazy evil things just picture a shaking crying child with terrified eyes who can’t remember his mother’s face and a teenaged slave who gets black out drunk every day and is bleeding out from bite makes and beating scars fighting over the control panels of their collective dead eyed robot and desperately trying to animate the empty corpse that the coven named Armand so that it’ll hopefully pass for human. That is basically how Armand’s brain is functioning 24/7 😭

elrond as a dad is a concept people don't use enough frankly. just. elrohir and elladan and arwen following their ada around like ducklings. as they grow they keep doing it and it's not uncommon to see three adult elves just shadowing their father whenever they're not off causing chaos.

then arwen leaves and aragorn all but drops on elrond's lap and he picks up on it and now its elrohir, elladan and estel making a line after him. estel gets left behind easily so elrond is in the habit of checking that he's got all his kids following him.

after, in valinor, elrond will sometimes falter, not hearing the familiar steps following his own. even after elrohir and elladan sail, he'll turn every so often and freeze, panicking for a moment because where are arwen and estel? when did he leave them behind? and as soon as that moment is over he's just feeling the loss of them all over again. the twins never say anything, never protest or even seem to notice the sudden stops. they just leave him time to compose himself until he's ready to keep walking.

NHS whenever JGY is looking vs when he isnt