Get Porsche Out Of There

A List of Very Convincing Reasons why Elrond Peredhel Cannot become Noldor High King after Gil-Galad, written by Dnorle Lehderep

He's like Finwe's great great great grandson; that's clearly too many generations away.

Also he's technically a Feanorian and they're like, super cursed and also dispossessed so maybe he shouldn't be in the line of succession.

No one can agree on whether his claim comes from the Nolofinwean or Feanorian lines. Clearly the best solution to this is for him to not be king.

Galadriel is right there.

He turns into a bird sometimes and everyone knows that birds can't be elf-kings that would be silly.

Yes, he does have one of the three rings "for elvish kings" but Cirdan also has one of those, and he's not an elvish king, so frankly it doesn't matter.

Gil-Galad's will, which states that Elrond inherits the crown, was clearly forged. I will not explain how. Trust me on this one.

C'mon guys he's not even technically an elf. Yes Melian was a queen over elves without being an elf. Yes Dior was a half-elf elf king. I don't see what that has to do with anything.

Do we really need a king?? Apparently some edain are experimenting with a new system called "democracy" and fraknly that sounds a lot better and cooler than having another king.

We'd have to get the crown resized again and that would be a lot of work.

He wears his hair partially down. In public. If that's not scandalous I don't konw what is.

I know his followers keep talking about how great of a leader he is, but they're mostly Feanorians, so clearly that doesn't count.

Galadriel. Is. Right. There.

He probably doesn't even speak Quenya. Don't ask anyone at court to confirm this.

He's very busy revolutionizing the field of medicine in Rivendell right now, please leave me him alone.

Clearly he doesn't wear enough jewelry to be a proper Noldor king.

I know you’re probably super busy but I HAVE to share this with someone. I found this absolutely insane shirt at my job (thrift store) and it’s been killing me to imagine Silco in it

You can't drop something like this to my askbox and not expect me to draw something

Moms usually drop the kids off to their playdate, time for the dads to meet.

1st Year in This Corner of Tumblr: (Some of) My Fav Reads (so far)

This list was supposed to be a part of a very simple round-up but then I got stuck on a plane with some time to kill and decided to expand it with a commentary. It's the festive season after all, let's spread gratitude. I limited myself to 10 pieces, each by a different author in no particular order.

#1 Asian Honorifics & BL - a quick & dirty guide, with examples by @absolutebl

After the revelation of December '22 that brought me here, I spent the better part of January educating myself on Asian BLs. Honestly, where better to start than this master post. In particular, I want to mention the Asian honorifics guide, without which I would be so so lost. Thanks for maintaining the BL syllabus P'ABL!

#2 BL and it’s Shoujo grandma by @nieves-de-sugui

Now digging deeper, this piece along with any follow-ups like A Quick History of BL is straight-up fascinating. I am quite familiar with the evolution of genres in music but never knew how literary genres are building off each other. And it all has been happening not so long ago!

#3 The Eighth Sense and Missing Pieces by @ranchthoughts

Oh, the times when T8S was airing were wild. The post Ranch wrote seems almost academic and I love it for that. Apart from the obvious logical arguments on the topic, it encapsulates the joy of collective experience where everyone can chime in. Every voice and take is valid and you can source your friends like a reputable scientific magazine - now that's just too cool.

#4 This isn't about Wang by @respectthepetty

We all know and love the author for colour analysis but my favourite of RTP's posts is the 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us meta. After watching the series, I desperately needed someone to unpack it for me. It was such a blessing to have those key moments and analogies broken down and explained in words. I yelled yass! after every paragraph. I do not want to go into details (spoilers!), but the bridge metaphor is still fresh in my mind.

#5 Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: I Told Sunset About You (ITSAY) Edition by @waitmyturtles

If there was a Spotify wrapped but for reading meta Turtles would be my number one artist, that's for sure. And I still haven't read half of the stuff she made for the GMMTV challenge. The sheer amount of words she produces is shocking. How does she write so much? so cleverly? while being so busy? The ITSAY piece gave me so much context on Phuket's communities, their history and the setting in which the story is told. It enriched my experience twofold.

#6 The Knowing: Being Queer in BL by @bengiyo

Now this one, this one is very precious to me. After reading the piece and looking through the collection of characters presented there I realised that I've always been drawn to the characters that experience the Knowing. Or at least since I watched C.R.A.Z.Y. all those (16!) years ago. The need to fit in but feeling distinctly different was always something I empathised with a lot. Maybe that's actually why queer stories tend to move me so much. So thank you Ben for my 'oh' moment.

#7 Moonlight Chicken is For the Queers by @wen-kexing-apologist

MLC is my favourite series of this year for various more or less objective reasons and one of them is tackled in this text. No other trope in any drama gets me more than found family / friendship group that suffers together through thick and thin. The way WKX presents these themes through a queer and very personal lens is deeply moving, and honestly, a privilege to read.

#8 To My Star - Music by @iguessitsjustme

I have a thing for music in general, and above all else, I love discovering new songs and genres. And if it's through dramas? Even better. But I could never dissect the whole soundtrack the way Rae does. Everything clicked when I read the post on To My Star music. It was delightful to revisit the series and catch all the references with a new set of ears, so to speak. I also recommend the Old Fashion Cupcake analysis which was the final push for me to watch the show.

#9 10 Things I Love About 3 Will Be Free by @lurkingshan

I would watch an absolute garbage of a series if Shan pitched it to me. I love it when she writes in the list/short paragraphs format, where each part has excellently laid out arguments. It's always such an easy and insightful read! The piece mentioned sold me on 3 Will Be Free and I am VERY grateful. My second fav out of Shan's pitches would be this kdrama recommendation list because she made it based on my parameters *blush*.

#10 The Biting Spectrum: Ranking QL Chomps from Cute to Sexy to Feral by @sorry-bonebag & Office BLs Ranked by Their Ability to Maintain the Veneer of Appropriate Workplace Behaviour by @itsanidiom

Ok, so most of the posts mentioned before were on a serious note so let's finish up with something that just made me cry with laughter. Both of these rankings are the only ones that matter this year. I love how half of fandom content is essays on important topics and the other half is just unhinged analysis, wild theories and snarky comments ♡

Obviously, what I mentioned is only a small and very biased sample so I want to reiterate - big thanks to all the writers out there for giving me so much to read and think about. You made my year better!

Jedi Padawans have the classic sitcom bag-of-flour baby assignment to ensure they're prepared to look after young ones in emergency situations

this assessment is not one of the many canceled or postponed during the war

which means that when Ahsoka is abruptly deployed dirtside along with her Master, Grandmaster, and the 501st, she had to scramble to find an appropriate babysitter for her sack of flour

desperate, she tossed it to Commander Cody, who was staying aboard the Negotiator to oversee the campaign, with only a frantic list of the required steps to take care of it while she was gone

when she returns several days later, Cody has painted the sack 212th gold and constructed a sling to carry it around on his front while he keeps his hands free for work

judging by the rank pins attached to the front, the sack of flour is now a lieutenant

once Obi-Wan's heart eyes abate enough, though, it becomes clear to him that Cody and the 212th troopers have not understood that the sack of flour is not, in fact, a literal Jedi tubie

and none of the Jedi or their siblings in the 501st have the heart to correct them, so they let them keep the thing, stomping on the feet of anyone who tries to ask too many questions about their new mascot

once the war ends, Obi-Wan discreetly replaces the sack with a Jedi chrecheling in the middle of the night, having resigned himself to raising another too-young-Padawan

Reva, for her part, is all to happy to gleefully coat herself in flour for the occasion

If you call pedophilia a kink please unfollow me and never talk to me again

Alpha-17 and Obi-Wan being friends (derogatory) on 17's part and friends (threatening) on Obi-Wan's part is such an underrated dynamic

They could be so funny and terrifying, like Obi-Wan went through a soul shredding experience with Alpha-17 as his only company. They're friends because what else are you gonna be after you witness each other at absolute rock bottom from torture.

It's like 'dog put in cage of cheetah who's threatening to go crazy', except the dog is a grizzly bear and also threatening to go crazy.

Emotional support trooper except the trooper in question has never done any sort of supporting in his life and is actively an emotional distress trooper to a great number of the CC batch.

I want them texting everyday, I want Obi-Wan mailing handmade BFF bracelets to Alpha and Alpha sending pics back of him flipping off the camera but still wearing them, I want Alpha using Obi-Wan to keep track of and occasionally terrorize his cadets, I want 17 ending problems in the GAR (like Krell) before they begin because Obi-Wan has him shipped out on a personal transport at the first opportunity, decked out with slug-throwers Obi-Wan got him for his decant-day.

Natborn officers think this is all just an odd indulgence of General Kenobi, the Vode, however, correctly identify it as a goddamn threat and their danger assessment of Obi-Wan ticks up significantly.

When Alpha arrives on Kamino, Shaak Ti presses a shiny new comm into his hand. It has the Jedi Order symbol painted onto it alongside a smiley face sticker, and it pings immediately with a new message: Hello! I hope you're settling in well!

Alpha stares at the message, stares at the singular contact named 'OWK' and then stares Shaak Ti in the eye as he pitches the comm straight into the ocean. Shaak Ti's serene smile only grows larger as she calmly reaches into her robes and pulls out an identical comm, only this one has a frowny face sticker, and presses it into his hand. It lights up: I'm afraid we've bonded, Alpha :). Alpha shuts it off and pockets it with resignation.

Cody arrives on Alpha-17's personal recommendation.

A-17: He's the most difficult little bastard I have. You're perfect for each other. OWK: Thank you, he's very handsome :3 A-17: No. Stop.

The first thing he asks once he gets comfortable is who his general is texting so much that has him swinging his legs and twirling his hair. Cody assumes it's Anakin, given they seem joint at the hip anyway, but little does he know Obi-Wan's ability to consistently have the Weirdest Relationships Ever.

"Oh, it's Alpha-17, I understand you're familiar with each other?" Hmm. OK. Cody.exe is experiencing a processing error, please hold. He exits the room instead of answering. The next day he peeks over the General's shoulder when he's texting and sees walls of rambling messages from Obi-Wan. Alpha-17 replies every hour with a single text: Lose this number. Obi-Wan giggles. "He's so funny." he says.

When Obi-Wan meets the rest of the CC batch, Cody makes sure to stand perfectly angled so that he can record the reactions when his general cuts off their introductions with "Oh, no need, Alpha-17's told me all about you." It's always immediate FEAR.JPG followed by a slow spiral of What The Fuck.

What do you mean by that General. What does that mean Cody. What do you mean they text. No. Cody. What the fuck is happening, Cody. Alpha-17 doesn't have friends he has enemies and enemies he tolerates enough not to shoot on sight.

OWK: Wolffe reached for his vambrace? when I mentioned you A-17: That's where he keeps his spare knife. OWK: Hm that does explain the way he eyed me up, ambitious. A-17: Clearly not enough, he should have followed through. I taught them better.

— r. siken, snow and dirty rain.

Khaotung: He's a family member to me. A day without him would be bad. But at present, he's never out of my sight no matter where I look.

Brb, crying about how much they love each other

ETA: longer version of this bit here

considering the manor is completely massive and the only person who spends more than a few consecutive hours there at a time is probably Alfred, i think it would be funny if after the pit, Jason decides after everything he's been through that he can't be bothered to do the whole revenge thing, or sort out safe houses or get an apartment and instead just decides to kill the joker himself and just... secretly go home.

like, as long as he kept an ear out to make sure he wasn't eating in the dining room when Bruce comes down, he could probably get away with walking around without ever being caught. Alfred would find out, i assume, but i think knowing how complicated Jasons emotions towards Bruce are right now, he'd keep it quiet and just be happy that the one other person he trusts to leave alone in the kitchen is finally back. And then, of course, there's the kids.

Damian knew from the beginning. Not because he's especially observant, but because this is his big brother from the league and the first night he spent at the manor Jason crawled through his window in full Red Hood gear and told him not to snitch. Considering that in the league Jason once snuck up behind Ra's and shaved a strip of hair off the back of his head, Damian decides there's far stupider shit the guy could be doing and leaves it be.

Tim finds out next. admittedly, the only reason he finds out is because Jason thought he knew and just stopped attempting to avoid him. in reality, what happened was Tim, having not slept for three days and living off nothing but spite and coffee, accidentally walked in on Jason cooking in the middle of the night, and immediately wrote it off as a hallucination. Jason, seeing Tim find him in the manor and not react badly, decided that 'oh, the replacement must just be chill i guess' and mentally pencilled him in as another person in the building that he can be seen by. it came to a head when a few days later Damian was forced by Jason to invite Tim out with them on their weekly 'eat junk food and talk shit about the rest of the family' outings, since he was a part of the group now. Tim cries.

Dick only finds out because Tim and Damian keep forgetting that Jason isn't supposed to be talked about in public. there comes a point where Tim rips Dick's favourite sweater and when Dick confronts him about it, Tim panics and blurts out 'it wasn't me, must have been jason!', and upon seeing Dick's face, Damian smacks him and grumbles 'good job Drake, now we have to show him Todd or he'll cry again.'. Jason is not overly happy when he sneaks through his bedroom window after going out as Red Hood and finds a sobbing Dick sat on his bed, Tim staring at the ground looking very ashamed while Damian straight face points at Tim to make it clear that this was Not His Fault.

after realising literally everyone in the house sans Bruce knows he's there, Jason decides to just. stop hiding. the fact is that he wasn't trying that hard in the first place, and Bruce still didn't have a clue, so he kinda wants to see how long it takes the 'world's greatest detective' to realise his dead kid is just. back.

so he stops hiding. starts showing up for family meals, starts being more friendly with the bats as Red Hood, and they all wait to see what finally tips Bruce off.

they forget how fucking stupid this man can be.

because if Jason had gone up to Bruce and done some sort of dramatic or emotional reveal then sure, Bruce would be shocked. he'd freak out. but the fact is that Bruce has both Batman and Brucie Wayne to keep up with. He's barely paying attention to his own feet while walking, let alone the people around him.

so when Jason starts showing up and acting like nothings changed, and literally nobody else in the house acts like anything's different either? Bruce straight up forgets that Jason's supposed to be dead. His mind just registers 'oh there are his kids, fighting like usual', and forgets to take in whether or not those kids are SUPPOSED to be ALIVE.

the kids find it fucking fascinating. Jason can actually have conversations with Bruce at the dinner table, and Bruce doesn't even realise that this is a wild fucking thing to be happening. Tim starts laughing at him and Bruce gets confused, only making the poor kid laugh harder. Jason just can't believe he actually bothered putting effort into hiding when he first came back. Damian's respect for his father diminishes every day.

it becomes a game, to see how far it will go. at one point Dick straight up asks who was better as Robin, him or Jason, in an attempt to jog his memory, and Bruce without looking up from the batcomputer goes 'you were both equally good, stop trying to start competitions with your brother'. Dick throws his hands up in the air and Jason, who has been sat on top of his own fucking memorial case to watch this shit show for the past 20 minutes, slow claps.

it's only after like a month of this that half way through a casual family breakfast, Damian asks Jason to pass him the orange juice or something, and Bruce finally has the fucking moment of

he never lives it down.