Transphobes Can Die Mad 🤷🏻

Crush. Has the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done been in the name of a crush.

why are my words not beautiful?

as i read somewhere, there is no reason too little if it helps you stay alive. anyone who sees this, maybe go out and watch the sun set today? the sky's softness helps me out a lot, maybe it'll help you too

Nobody would miss me if i were gone and i guess that I just wanted to know your best reasons for living because I’m coming up short.. :(

i really don’t know, i was just thinking this the other day :/ i try to focus on what’s going to get me through today rather than what’s going to get me through my life. i can’t think about my life. mostly i come up with small, basically meaningless reasons like eating my fave food or the sky or the possibility of the world finally cutting me some slack and loosening its grip on me a bit. i try to think about it a lot, how i haven’t met everyone i’m supposed to meet or seen everything i’m supposed to see. a lot of the time it’s not even any of that that keeps me here though, it’s just that dying is too hard. too scary. too inconvenient. too permanent. so look for the minor moments of peace or even just numbness, the lack of pain, that you find on a daily or weekly basis. anything that brings you a semblance of joy, no matter how little. art, music, walking, special interests, books, animals. whatever it may be. the trick of mental illness is that it often makes these things feel dull and insignificant and pointless. yet engaging in them despite that, even for five minutes a day, can be super self soothing even so. when it comes to the bigger reasons, the more existential reasons, i suppose my mind drifts to my family and the people around me. ig on some level we have to recognize that trauma and mental illness often skews our perception so much that we don’t even have an accurate idea of our own existence or what it means to people. you’re probably utterly convinced that nobody would miss you but you’ve been on a diet of self hatred for god knows how long, and so you can’t possibly fathom the way you’ve made a difference in people’s lives - directly and indirectly. after my sister died, i got a lot of anons telling me they had put off their own suicide after seeing how devastated i was, after realizing the absolute irreversible gravity of death and losing someone and how it can wreck the people who know you. and that has a ripple effect, on people who didn’t even know you that well, too. it’s just a spiderweb of hurt that never ends. i’m not saying you have to stay alive purely for others, but i am saying it’s something to consider when looking for reasons to stick around. another thought i often have is that i am going to be dead for all of eternity. it’s coming sooner than i think, and there’s nothing i can do about it. so i might as well ride it out until i get there and observe the brief flash of human consciousness i got. because it took coincidence after coincidence for millenia to get me here in the first place. but honestly, none of this is going to ring true for you if you don’t try to confront the underlying causes for these thoughts and feelings. i know it’s easier said than done, and idk the details of your situation or anything. but if it’s possible, or when it’s possible, i would really recommend reaching out to a professional - a hot line, your doctor, a support group, a therapist - if you can, or even just your friends and family to begin with. mental health issues are just as serious as physical health issues and often need the same level of medical care in order to overcome them. and that’s alright. you don’t have to go into great detail about what’s going on right away, and there’s no rush here. but learning to cope healthily and compartmentalize  by talking through your pain and being truly heard, is not as impossible as it seems at the moment. it is not some far away goal, it can begin by picking up the phone. obviously this is a super daunting prospect, and i understand that, but it’s just something to think about for now. you deserve support, and a future. this current mental anguish is not all there is. anyway sorry my answer is all over the place, none of this is coming out right and it probably wasn’t the best one i could give to be honest, but it’s where i’m at right now too and i just can not focus. sending you a lot of love. you do matter. please take care x

Love you, canon Sirius. Sirius, who loved his motorbike and leaned back in chairs. Sirius who suffered 12 years in Azkaban while being innocent. Sirius, who missed crossword puzzles and turned into a dog to escape. Sirius, who bonded with other animals and magical creatures. Sirius, who wanted to commit a murder in front of children. Sirius, who is tall and terrifying. A pureblood heir. The bad child. Sirius, who is top of the class. Sirius, who chose his own family. Sirius, who bullied other students for fun and told Snape about the willow because he was a noisy git. Sirius, who doesn't apologize for who he is. Sirius, who ate rats to be closer to Harry and fought Molly who tried to question his parenthood. Sirius, who is brave and energetic and didn't do well just sitting in the house when others are in danger. Sirius who didn't lose his mind in Azkaban. Sirius who was a competent wizard, loyal friend and loving godfather. Sirius who is moody and drank alcohol to cope and lost his temper. Sirius who never wanted to be apart from James. Sirius who hated the dark arts. Sirius who was mean to Kretcher. Sirius who risked his life constantly for people he loved and died protecting Harry.

draco is incredibly touch starved, obviously (we're going off of pure canon where it's clear he has no real friends, and his parents aren't exactly . . huggers), and so what ends up happening eventually is that ron just takes to petting him like he's a damn dog:

i'd like to highlight specially the scenes above where ppl just freaking, rub a hand over the entirety of will's face, bc first off wth, and second off draco would LIVE for that shit he is so pathetic wet car.

and they cuddle. obviously. draco is clingy asf. as they bond he takes to standing with his arm around ron's waist whenever they're next to each other, specifically bc ron's taller and he thinks thats awesome, actually

AU where Regulus’ karma is having a son who happens to be the carbon copy of Sirius.

they both do this to each other btw, draco even started it. in his mind ron occupies a space scarily adjacent to beloved little pet.

draco, mentally, while stroking ron's hair: i've always wanted a puppy.

"It worried Ron sometimes, and the uncomfortable, hard edge of it pressed up against his side even when he wasn't-- that Draco only kept agreeing to these meetings not (only) out of obligation, but because he viewed him as some petty form of entertainment. A talking, dancing monkey in a long line of dancing monkeys, that he deigned to wave a hand at and let amuse him after he grew bored, of-- of swimming in a massive pool filled to the brim with his own Galleons, or whatever it is rich bastards did in their free time.

hell, the way he looked at him sometimes, undeniably fond, but exactly in the way you'd look at a pet that just did something cute-- the way he put his hands on him, how he liked to curl one around the back of his neck to prompt Ron to look up at him, then thread it in his hair and keep it there, proprietary."

draco is incredibly touch starved, obviously (we're going off of pure canon where it's clear he has no real friends, and his parents aren't exactly . . huggers), and so what ends up happening eventually is that ron just takes to petting him like he's a damn dog:

i'd like to highlight specially the scenes above where ppl just freaking, rub a hand over the entirety of will's face, bc first off wth, and second off draco would LIVE for that shit he is so pathetic wet car.

and they cuddle. obviously. draco is clingy asf. as they bond he takes to standing with his arm around ron's waist whenever they're next to each other, specifically bc ron's taller and he thinks thats awesome, actually

since i got two of these gay ass fucking reels in a row and got one-shotted by this fuckin one right before i was abt to go to bed i think this would be a good time to share that the central conflict or wtvr of inspiral is that the two of them are trying to keep draco from dying.

yes, draco tries to have the "you need to learn how to act when i'm gone" conversation, several times in fact. good freaking night.

(bonus)

HELP