Just Learnt That The Cast Of Mamma Mia Were Literally All Drunk Like The Whole Time They Filmed And Everything

Don’t know if I trust the way Christopher Nolan writes women for him to be allowed to tackle anything Greek mythology related

Coming back to this because these are all the other musicals that should be recast with muppets:

1. Rent

Everyone is a muppet except the evil landlord, self explanatory, done. (I don’t know enough about rent to cast this one tbh but I think Scooter would be an excellent mark)

2. The Phantom of the Opera

The count is the phantom (join me in a fantasy world where the muppets and Sesame Street gang cross over- or it could also just be Gonzo I guess I like the idea of him as a homewrecker) miss piggy is Christine, kermit is raoul and the only humans are Meg and her mother. Additional cast members could be scooter as the stage manager, per the usual, Fozzie Bear as that one Italian opera singer but instead of singing he just wants to tell his jokes, Gonzo as Carlotta in a wig and statler and Waldorf as themselves heckling the opera

3. Jesus Christ Superstar

Hear me out ok, this one may be controversial, but miss piggy is Jesus, the slightly jaded, undeniable star of the show, and kermit is Judas, undeniably in love with her, but tired of her hogging the spotlight and feels she’s turned her back on what the muppets are really about. Beaker is Peter because he also looks like he would nope out when shit goes down and deny miss piggy, and Mary Magdalene should be played by renowned Broadway actress Philips Sousa because I just think that would be really cool if she hasn’t already played that role

4. Sweeney Todd

In which the animal plays unhinged sweeney todd, judge Turpin is Sam the eagle, miss piggy is Johanna, kermit is Anthony, and miss Lovett is played by Janice, who while I think lacks the manic energy needed for the role, would be a good chilled out foil to animal and bring a new flavour to the character of the crazy character who’s so deluded they make their actions seem almost sane

5. Little Shop of Horrors

I’m sorry I know I keep casting them as the two leads but kermit and miss piggy were born to play Audrey and Seymour, it is a pair that cannot be topped. The only change this makes to the original is that we all know miss piggy takes no shit so I think the stuff with the dentist (still played by Steve Martin because you can’t improve upon perfection) is a misinterpretation and she actually beats the ever living shit out of him for disrespecting her. Rizzo the rat should play the slimey businessman who buys Audrey Two, Statler and Waldorf are collectively mr mushnik, the chorus should also be human but I think the piece de resistance would be the Swedish chef as Audrey two and all the world is his chicken, and all the world should be deeply, deeply, afraid.

Tell me in the comments if I missed anyone or you have any casting ideas yourself!!

This has definitely been pitched before, but petition for a remake of les miserables where everyone is a muppet except Javert

If it makes any of you feel better, Will got queerbaited in season 4 too

I feel like so many problems people have with tv at the moment could be solved if we just went back to the good ole days of 20 episodes a season that’s just sixty percent filler and character development. Give the people what they want- less condensed story and more meaningless shenanigans

Honestly at this point when Netflix cancels a show it’s an assurance of quality

This has definitely been pitched before, but petition for a remake of les miserables where everyone is a muppet except Javert

Just discovered the list feature on letterboxed

Kaos being cancelled rlly sucks and I’m sad we don’t see the continuation of the story but lord in heaven how do you make Orpheus Chris Martin when hozier was right there yearning and trying to bury himself, ascending to a higher plane of existence, viewing all his past lives, realising he is in fact the reincarnation of Orpheus and meanwhile Chris Martin is probably out there making a salad without dressing

Ranking the Kens in Barbie based on overall ‘kenergy’

1. Ken

- little cowboy hat

- doctor who

- just misses his best friend barbie 🥹

8.5 out of Ken

2. Ken

- less fun lil cowboy hat

- gets to be douche bro president Ken

- related to Chris evans maybe?

- gives Ryan gosling a lil kiss

5 out of Ken

3. Ken

- back flipping Ken

- excellent dancer

- gives serious steal ur girl energy

- possibly the most sexually aggressive of all the Kens (I am referencing his interactions with Ryan Gosling Ken exclusively, the energy was palpable)

- served some mad cunt

9 out of Ken

4. Ken

- possibly my favourite Ken

- always has Ken’s back

- very goofy dancer 💜

- played drums when all the other Ken’s played guitar

- recipient of the holy pimp coat

- almost certainly in love with his best friend Ken

10 out of Ken

5. Ken

- THE Ken

- he’s kenough 🥲

- lost interest in the patriarchy when he found out it wasn’t about horses

- instigated the greatest out of nowhere dance number in a film I’ve ever seen

- buuuuuuuut also enslaved a bunch of women so…

-10 out of Ken (still love him tho)

Gotta love how pierce is constantly called Jeff out for being gay when Troy and Abed are RIGHT THERE