I Love This Post So Much, I Must Add It To My Hoard Of Shinies

First clip: I am majestic, chonky, free, and happy

Second clip: Æ Æ Æ Æ Æ Æ RELEASE ME Æ Æ Æ Æ Æ Æ

the transition im crying

Aaaaaaaaaaaaggghhh

if I had a nickel for every time I voted for the potential first female president over trump and trump won I’d had two nickels and it’s really fucking fucked up that it happened twice

I’m doing an essay on unicorns (yes, seriously), and I found this wonderful tidbit of information:

Like imagine you lose a unicorn because it just rolled off a cliff like an even more reckless Sonic the hedgehog

Credit to the author: Beer, Rüdiger Robert. Unicorn: Myth and Reality. Translated by Charles M. Stern, Van Nostrand Reinhold Company, 1972.

ha HA I have located this amazing post at last!

bruce wayne maintains a presence on all conspiracy theory boards with the screen name BruceWayneIsTheBatman and all his posts have titles like “BRUCE WAINE IS BAT-MAN INDISPUTABLE PROOF” and it’s just a picture of Bruce Wayne from the back next to a picture of Batman from behind and they both have the contours of their butt drawn on in a shitty MSPaint red line (note: Bruce is in a suit and Batman has a cape, neither of their butts are clearly discernible) and the quote “THE BUTTS MATCH!!! THE FACTS DON’T LIE!!!!!” and he makes at least three of these posts a day, and “Bruce Wayne is the Batman” becomes a meme a la “Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer” and he gets asked about it on a talk show and he laughs uproariously at the idea and Stephen Colbert just HAPPENS to have a batman mask under the desk and they do a bit together where Bruce Wayne puts on the mask and walks around saying things like “excuse me, bank robbers, can I perhaps offer you some money to stop you robbing this bank?” and “I say, cease and desist your criminal behavior or I’ll have my butler ask you to leave” and the audience is LOSING THEIR MINDS laughing at the idea of this pampered rich guy taking on the Joker on a bi-weekly basis and then anyone who suggests “Bruce Wayne is Batman” in earnest gets met with mocking “oh man do the butts match” comments

But what if I WANT to go on a magical faerie adventure?

i worry we are losing touch with the True Meaning Of Halloween (avoiding the fairies)

He looks calm in this picture but you know he was just S E E T H I N G with tiny fury

It's raining nonstop where I am so I'm just picturing the Batfam during a flood.

Red Robin uploads a TikTok from the safety of a roof saying "watch him go!" As Red Hood keeps trying to drive his bike against the current. A big wave comes by and he's slowly dragged downhill. The caption reads "don't drive during floods".

Batman and Robin are on the ground helping civilians out of cars when the intensity doubles and in minutes Damian goes from wading knee deep in the water to swimming. The emergency batfloaties get triggered and he floats away as Bruce fails to grab him by half an inch. "Robin serenely drifting in the current" becomes a meme.

Someone takes a picture of a very flustered spoiler trying to squeeze the water out of her cape. The second she lets go the weight of the water makes her fall ass over backwards. Black Bat ends up giving her her waterproof cape.

Signal makes mirages of sharks in the water to scare the shit out of any criminals. Oracle uploads the recordings with Benny hill as background music. Bludhaven escapes the worst of the storm and Nightwing sends pictures to the group chat patting the barely wet concrete just to rub it in. He still slips on a puddle and eats shit, Barbara sends that to the group chat.

My goodness, this is beautiful

I think more people need to play around with Damian's speech. Don't get me wrong, I love the antiquated Victorian child style of speech, but also he's a teenager that swears plenty in the comics. We really need more scenes like:

Damian: Father, I regret to inform you that I have been assigned in-school suspension for the next three days.

Bruce: What, why?!

Damian: My classmate Kevin was disparaging a female classmate for turning him down, so I called him 'a rizz-less, basic-ass neckbeard bitch' and said I was going to fuck his mom and give her a son she'd actually love.

Bruce: *is completely speechless*

Damian: That is all I needed to tell you. If you will excuse me, I have homework to complete before dinner and patrol.

The GOONION

Jason's henchmen pranking him: The goons have formed a union sir

Jason: a WHAT

Henchmen: A union

Jason: why??

Henchmen:

Henchmen: i think they're still figuring that part out

Sometimes tweeter people know their stuff- this is the right kind of toxic angst I want to read.

The fact that they use the Bane meme within the DC universe is so funny. It’s meta in a way that you question it, but then you realize that Gothamites totally would

Part 17 masterpost