The Fenton’s Ark Was Not Something I Knew I Needed. I Also Did Not Need This Sad Trauma-

Enemy to Parent; John Constantine and Dan edition.

Dan, after getting a clone human body to call his own and stabilize him, makes it a point to antagonize the Laughing Magician.

Not in a way to like, actually hurt the man. He's not out to get in trouble with his twerpier half again.

Just to inconvenience and fuck with the man.

It may or may not be pent up aggression regarding just how annoying John Constantine was to deal with when Dan razed the world. Sure, he's not out to do that anymore, but the sight of Constantine's face is enough to make feelings of pure resentment and pettiness swell in his chest.

It's all fun and games until one day, on his way to go fuck with the Hellblazer, Dan ends up needing to do a sacrifice play so Danny can escape, and gets caught by the GIW.

~~~~~~

John Constantine has had an Infinite Realms thorn in his side for literal months, so when the thorn doesn't show up for a couple of days, he...gets concerned.

He looks up how to summon an Infinite Realms ghost.

Just to make sure the little shit is okay.

Danny becomes a “I’ll punch this guy for you” for hire and always finds a way to blame it on he experiences with Vlad. On the plus side, Danny get’s to let of a lot of steam punching heroes and villains alike at the request of (mostly) their children.

So I’m not too deep into batfam history but seems like in what gleam from fics Tim has some insecurity there but anyway was thinking Tim befriending Danny who is studying engineering/ interning and well they hit it off and Tim just tells him about he feels in his place in the family. They have a sort of better relationship but ya know how hard it is for them to talk some shit out

Danny who has dealt with his own issues about how he fit in his family of geniuses is mad for him

So imagine Tim invites him over already telling the other to please be somewhat normal and not to scare his FRIEND!! NOT BOYFRIEND!!

Danny meets them and when he is introduced to Bruce who bas Brucie persona going they dont expect their guest to deck Bruce sending him sprawling on the floor.

Jason loves this guy now he will personally adopt him if no one else is.

never mind that hes an adult and doesnt need to be adopted

Constantine finds this hilarious, and also has some unresolved frustrations toward the Bat. Since he knows perfectly well that both Danny and Tim are fine, he decides to get some payback and take his sweet ass time in Hell-

DCxDP AU with the typical cultists summon the ghost king stuff, except the spell is supposed to trap him in a mortal body till he agrees to do the cult's bidding.

Danny is obviously not going to just do what they say, he will find his own way out of this body he is trapped in, thank you very much.

After escaping he is found by the police and identified as Tim Drake, which okay didn't expect the human sacrifice to be a famous guy, but whatever. All he has to do is pretend to be Tim for a few days while he figures out how to break the spell. Easy, Bruce Wayne is famously stupid right?

Of course the bat family had been listening in to the cult's summoning the whole time from a communicator Tim activated right before he was captured, so they are very very aware this is not Tim.

They can't say anything though because they have no idea what powers the ghost king has or how to get him out of Tim's body. It is determined that the best solution is to play along till they have a plan so the ghost doesn't run off with Tim's body or hurt him in some way.

Thus begins a game of lies. Danny, fake it till you make it, Fenton, pretends to be Tim with only the info available on his Wikipedia page. The bats pretend to not notice anything is wrong.

Danny can't investigate how to break the spell because no one will leave him alone for any length of time. The bats are struggling to figure out how to get the ghost king out of Tim when all their magic users are saying the guy is basically all powerful.

No one is happy about any part of this.

Meanwhile Tim is playing a 5D chess version of psychological warfare on Danny while stuck inside his own head. Danny is just like, 'please have mercy I am trying to get us both out of this safely.' Tim is like, 'anyway here's wonderwall for the 40th time today.'

Jason: I need a look-alike. Just someone who can pretend to be me as Red Hood so I can go to class as Peter. Someone who can handle a fight. Someone who is okay with being shot at. But who?

Dan miles away, looking up from his cereal: I feel destiny calling.

Danny a tired college kid: What?

Dan racing to the window and overlooking Gotham: Someone in this city has just started the plot of my new novel.

Danny: Look Dan, ussually I would be down to help you through whatever shenanigan goes through your mind but I have a group project due that's forty percent of my grade and Peter won't answer his cell.

Dan: That's your fault for going to college.

Danny: Education is important

Dan: Education is important. College is a scam that the rich gatekeep. There is a difference. But I don't need you. I'll find my destiny on my own.

Danny: Alright, have fun, and please don't shoot anyone this time. Hiding Joker's body was hard enough, I don't want to do anything like that again.

Dan: If he wanted to live, he shouldn't have attempted chemical warfare. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.

Bruce has always been...complicated. With his kids. Granted, the life they lead doesn't make anything easy, but he has always, in some way, failed them.

Watching them all die was evidence enough of that.

If he'd trained them properly, if he'd been there for them, then they wouldn't have died.

All of them came back, but that doesn't forgive that they died in the first place.

So when he came across a fumbling teen hero, with no mentors, who had come to Bruce's attention already dead, he feels that he's been granted a chance.

This kid, should he train him, isn't at risk of dying on Bruce. This kid, who really does need the help, is not a kid that Bruce would ever consider his kid; he has a ghostly home (a haunt) and a ghostly family (a fraid) that love him very much.

Bruce's only position in Phantom's life would be as a teacher.

He's been granted a chance to see if his emotional attachment to his sons (and daughter) is interfering with his ability to train them properly, or if he's just lacking in the knowledge of how to effectively train a teenager for combat.

With Phantom's living impaired situation, if it turns out it's just his teaching skills, then Phantom won't actually die.

Phantom doesn't come by Gotham often, but he manages to pop in just enough that Bruce hammers out a training schedule with him.

He doesn't mean to start ignoring Damian or Tim or Dick, it's just that Phantom needs so much more assistance. He knows basic combat, but not the kind of combat he'll need in the wider world of heroes vs villains.

Phantom needs more work in how to think tactically. Phantom needs more work in sticking to the training schedule, or to any schedule. Phantom needs help understanding high school classes he can't interact with due to being dead.

All in all, Phantom just needs more help.

That's all it is. That's it.

~~~~~~

Damian is...upset. He's upset.

He's pissed.

This random stranger, who isn't even one of his brothers, is taking all of Father's attention. Not even paternal attention, the other teen is stealing away all the time and effort required to ensure Damian's training doesn't slip for himself.

Timothy, too, is noticing the lack of attention to training, and has taken it upon himself to drop by more often to fill in for Father, sparring with Damian and going over training exercises.

Richard, as well, is not only noticing but very annoyed. He's pulling Father aside and has had many furiously whispered conversations with him, but to no avail.

Nights when Phantom is present Damian already knows Father will pair with the dead hero instead of him, leaving Damian to partner with one of his brothers.

Timothy and Richard insist that it's just some strange and outlandish ploy Father is playing, but Damian knows better.

It's because he isn't good enough.

It's because he failed to meet Father's expectations.

He will have to push himself, then, to exceed them.

He can start by going on patrol alone.

5 hours later, Danny’s been busy avoiding everyone in the mansion. No one has managed to catch him yet, he’s just so slippery (ghost shenanigans), and they can’t figure out how in the heck this cat is so good at eluding them. Finally, Alfred manages to draw Danny out with dinner, because, of course. It’s Alfred. Also, he offered Danny food rather than attempting to snatch Danny and interrogate him, thank you very much.

Midway through Danny hastily eating his dinner before the rest of the bats badge in, Jason finally finishes up with Frostbite, and Danny feels the portal open above him and spit Jason back out. A bit of a rough landing, Danny had to dogs the falling Jason since the portal spawned from the ceiling, but no one was injured. Jason sits dazed for a an indiscernible amount of time, staring at Snitches, unmoving, unblinking, too shocked by the knowledge he’s gained.

Then the bats stumble into the kitchen, and Jason finally snaos back to reality.

“Where did you say you found this cat-?”

5 Things Nobody Tells you About Owning a Cat

Inter-dimensional travel

Tidied the background up a bit cause it was kinda messy and our Lord and Saviour Alfred Pennyworth would never.

2 Dracma

There’s so many prompts where Danny gets kidnapped instead of a Batfam member or visa versa. Usually by a random group of ransomers or the GIW.

Give me the most buckwild kidnapping reason that isn’t that.

Two-Face mistook Dick for Danny and Danny owed him $22 from a bet over five years ago.

Danny gets kidnapped instead of Brucie Wayne even though Bruce is very publicly at an event multiple states away. (The kidnappers aren’t too bright)

Plastic Man (pretending to be Bruce Wayne. Most likely because Batman needed both Bruce Wayne and Batman in the equation and Plastic Man was able to Body double and be there the fastest) Danny wrong place and wrong time happened to be near Plastic Man as he intentionally was jumped by members of a new gang in Gotham. The gang members, connecting very loose dots, take Danny as well as Plastic Man to an undisclosed location (this was intentional by Plastic Man to find out where the new gang operates, the kid wasn’t a part of the plan but hey! Winging it can be just as fun as a plan going perfectly (Batman is nearly yelling Plastic Man to stick to the plan and to not deviate))

Tim doesn’t even remotely look the same as Danny. This one (incredibly reckless, especially for Gotham) Bounty Hunter keeps on trying to bring him in for escaping an extradimensional prison and causing a riot???

Oh gods, I hate it-

✨ What’s Your Super Personality? ✨

You wake up and suddenly there's a magic envelope, this is how the story of this cute small test starts. This is my result:

It’s such a fun way to figure out what vibe you give off.

Share your result if you feel like it!

Tag a few mutuals—or don’t. No pressure!

If you do take it, I’d love to see what you get. 🌟

@patiori @glimmerglamglowz @grimnmm @evry1h8s-me @r1p0utmygvtzz @dec4yingdogteeth @hotboyfreighttrain @bonelessratss @alien-r3xi-4 @caramel-latte-cryptyd

And all my lovely moots of course! ❤

Shrodinger's BatCat Child

DP x DC Prompt

When Selina was pregnant with her's and Bruce's child, she was thinking of settling down and raising the child. But when she had given birth to the boy, someone had broken into the hospital and stolen not only her baby but also other babies had been taken from the hospital. She tried to find out who took her baby boy but couldn't find the perpetrator.

Heartbroken at the loss of her baby, Selina masks her grief with being Catwoman. She doesn't tell Bruce about their baby boy, even after the new boy that goes under the Bats wing. She does treat each new Robin as if they were her own son. She talks to Harley about what had happened when Damian comes into the fold, where she then reveals that she had a baby with Bruce to the man and what happened to their baby after a few sessions with Harley.

Danny is on the run from Amity, from the Fentons, from the GIW, and from Vlad. The Fentons found out about him being Phantom and attacked him. They then teamed up with the GIW to hunt him down. He doesn't want to go to Vlad, as the Fruitloop is slowly becoming more and more crazy to get him to become his son and slowly focusing less and less on Maddie.

He heads to Gotham, as the city spirit, when she was chosen to be part of his court because of her knowledge and power, had told him that he was one of hers, a child born in Gotham to a woman that wasn't Maddie, Catwoman, and that's also how he found out that he's the son of Batman as well, because Lady Gotham gave him that answer as well, but she didn't tell him their real names. He just hopes that his mom and dad will be happy to learn that their son is still (mostly) alive and on his way to them.

And then Danny is caught by the Joker. He couldn't put up that much of a fight as he used up a lot of Ectoplasm escaping the lab he was in. Tucker's family moved away during middle school, and so did Sam's family when the start of high school came, Jazz had returned from college to help him escape the lab he was held in, but had to go back if she wanted to keep the scholarship.

The Batfam was having a family day out in Gotham. Bruce and Selina were engaged and wanted to bond as a family. Then Joker began broadcasting across Gotham.

"Hello Gotham! Today, I have a special guest with me"

The camera panned to a boy tied up in a chair, head hanging low.

"Brucie Boy seems to have forgotten to mention that he has another brat to call his own, so I took it upon myself to inform you all about him!"

When Joker grabbed the face of the boy and showed it to the camera, the entire Batfam tensed. Because the boys face had the features of both Bruce and Selina, the cuts, bruises, and blood on the boys face couldn't hide that fact, and now they need to find the boy to save him from what Joker has planned for their son.

You should definitely go read the other reblogs, this has so many amazing additions! ✨

Phantom, the newest addition to the Justice League, pulls Wonder Woman aside.

He has...a strange request.

He's nervous, flustered, fading in and out of the visible spectrum. It's clear that what he's about to ask of her is important to him, and even though she has an uncomfortable voice in the back of her head telling her this young hero is about to ask her out, she resolves to listen before she jumps to conclusions.

She's glad she did.

"Can...can you put a grave for me in Themyscira? I know it's just for women, but it's the safest place I can think of for it! I just...I don't have a grave, and Clockwork says it's starting to stunt my growth as a Ghost, and I have too many enemies on American soil, so. It's okay if you say no, though, I'll figure something out, it's fine."

Diana lets him ramble to the end, already knowing what her answer is going to be.

"We would be honored to host your grave, Phantom. Do you have any remains I can take home? Do you require a funeral service?"

Phantom looks...he looks beyond grateful. Close to tears.

"No, no remains. A symbolic grave is fine, it just. It has to have my real name on it, my mortal one." He says, looking hesitant. "Please don't reach out to my family, Wonder Woman. They don't know."

With that, he hands over a small slip of paper, torn from a notebook and clearly folded one too many times.

She takes it as though he were entrusting her with the rarest diamond in the world. She wants to, but she does not ask how they could not notice the death of someone so very bright.

Instead she nods, tucking the paper away.

Phantom will get a grand grave, one worthy of a friend to the Crown of Themyscira. She will ensure it.