Danny Becomes A “I’ll Punch This Guy For You” For Hire And Always Finds A Way To Blame It On He

Jason just staring in confusion like: how tf did you know???

Danny, wearing ripped muddy clothes, having just dug himself out of his grave at 6 28 in the god damn morning: Hey, can I use your shower?

Jason, holding open his front door having just gotten back from patrols and was about to go the fuck to bed when some guy knocked on his door to ask for a shower: uhhh…?

perfect, don't stop. Give Bruce that one more traumatic incident so that he’ll finally go the therapy. 😈

I think Duke should be immortal in the "cannot die" sense and Jason should be immortal in the "cannot stay dead" sense and that they should keep this a secret from everyone including each other. And then they should both get caught in a situation that Absolutely Should Kill Them Instantly, miraculously not die, and then be like:

Like Jason shields Duke from some massive explosion or something, and Duke is horrified because he thinks Jason just pointlessly sacrificed himself for someone who would've been fine anyway - only for Jason to very casually come back from the dead, look at a completely unscathed Duke Thomas, and go, "Hey, what the fuck."

And Duke should look at a freshly revived Jason Todd and be like, "Me what the fuck? No you what the fuck."

And they end up both agreeing to not say a word about this to the rest of the Bats. Which poses issues. Because here you have a pair of unhinged vigilante siblings that do not fear death, that additionally now know they don't have to fear each other's deaths either, both unwilling to give anything less than everything they have to do what they think is right (and/or what they really, really want to).

So. Some things that happen in consequence:

Duke throws Jason off a fifty-story building in pursuit of some shoplifting rich asshole that was caught on camera insulting Duke's favorite metal band and being a classist fuck about it. This does, incidentally, re-traumatize Nightwing, who was ten feet away and not prepared to see his little brother yeeted off the side of a building, no grapple in sight - but it also traumatizes the shoplifter when Jason lands right in front of him, grotesquely knits himself back together, and rises from the ground in a distinctly horrifying fashion just to beat the shit out of him. So Duke takes the win.

Jason shoots Duke in the head to get him to stop shining light in his eyes in the middle of a gunfight. He does stop, but only because Batman shows up out of nowhere, and now Duke gets to pretend to be grievously injured while Batman yells at Jason about "self-control" and "maturity" and "putting teammates at risk." Meanwhile Duke is playing up this horrible concussion that he doesn't even have. Jason is seething. (Duke gets checked out at Leslie's. They convince her to lie for them by appealing to her inner petty bitch.)

Jason gets his payback a few months later by poisoning himself at an undercover op and subsequently forcing Duke to drag his dead body around a mob-owned nightclub for like half an hour trying to convince seasoned criminals that this brick shithouse of a man sprawled awkwardly across his back is just... really wasted. Totally not a corpse.

Both Jason and Duke get caught in many, many, many explosions after that initial reveal, and it's always terrifying for the rest of the Bats. It gets to a point where Batman refuses to partner Duke and Jason together for literally anything, because they always act fucking insane. Big metal vehicle moving hundreds of miles an hour towards an unsuspecting civilian? That's okay! Jason will just throw Duke in front if it. Unknown, volatile substance potentially being used by a notorious serial killer to murder his victims? No lab testing required! Duke will just pour a whole pint of the stuff on Jason's bare arm to see how it reacts. Bomb that can't be disarmed? Why wait for backup when these two psychopaths can just grab the thing and jump into the harbor? Like, genuinely. The stress. Bruce is one particularly traumatic incident away from actually considering therapy.

I read the “too much teeth” and my brain immediately went: Oh! Tim must be a Fae in this AU. With no other context. It just decided that the too many teeth description meant that Tim was in fact, not a human either. 😂

Caffeine Competition

Dpxdc Prompt #51

Danny just met the first person in the world that might have eyebags to rival his own, and a coffee addiction to match.

So what is his first instinct? Challenging him to a coffee-chugging competition of course.

After his new adversary, Tim apparently, accepted his challenge Danny was quickly reminded that he was not, in fact, a human being, and that caffeine in large doses could be poisonous to them. This became quickly apparent when dozens of cups of coffee into the competition Tim vomited and proceeded to pass out.

Danny stayed with him until he woke up, but just as he was about to depart he was stopped.

"Wait! Can we do this again sometime?"

Danny looked at him like he was the strangest person on Earth, but responded, "Uh sure...?"

Tim looked back and smiled at him with too many teeth, had a sharp alertness for having just recovered from fainting, and a look on his face that practically promised to uncover all of Danny's secrets in one fell swoop.

itty bitty danger noodles

Don’t do this to me man, my heart is breaking 😭

Gut Feeling

DPXDC

Commissioner Jim Gordon meets an odd kid in the precinct.

--

“Come on, you really don’t have a way to directly contact Batman?”

Jim smiled. Kids came to the station and asked that all the time. Usually, it was just curiosity and showing them the signal was enough to get them to sign up for the Junior Police program. This one looked a little older than most, teenagers were often “too old” to believe in Batman, but again, give them a little faith now and they’ll never loose it.

“Lookin’ for the Bat, kid?” Jim asked, knowing he was about to make this kid’s –

Jim froze. The kid turned to face him and it was Bruce Wayne. Not playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne, but freshly a teenager Bruce Wayne. The Bruce Wayne who Jim had checked in on time and again from age eight until he ran off on a globetrotting trip to find himself. The little Bruce Wayne with too pale skin and dark bags under his eyes, and not enough love to make up for all the grief weighing him down. And he didn’t look like Damian either, where Bruce was obviously his father but there were distinct traits from his mother. This was a carbon copy of a boy Jim remembered vividly.

“I am.” He even sounded like teenage Bruce. All business, like he was on a mission.

“I might be able to help you, but it’ll take a while.” Jim said and the officer the kid had been talking too gave him an odd look. He waved her off and told the kid to follow him to the commissioner’s office. Normally, he’d be more dramatic, put on more of a show for the kid, but his gut told him this was different, this was important. He offered the kid a styrofoam cup of water then closed the door behind him. “So, what do you need to talk to Batman for?”

“It’s personal. I need to talk to him in person.”

Jim took a sip of coffee from his cup. “He doesn’t appreciate me calling for no reason in the middle of the day.”

“So you do have a direct line?” The kid nearly jumped out of his seat. “If he’s upset, it’ll be my fault, just call him, please.”

“Who should I say wants to talk to him?”

The kid hesitated. “He doesn’t know me, but I have to talk to him.”

Jim frowned. “What’s your name, kid?”

He swallowed and looked like he wasn’t going to answer for a moment. “Danny.”

“Danny…?” Jim wanted a last name but Danny kept quiet. Jim sighed, “He’s likely not going to show up until sundown.”

“I can wait, as long as you guarantee he’ll show.”

“And you’re not going to tell me why you need Batman?” Jim just got a glare in response. “What about one of the other heroes?”

“Only Batman, no one else can help.”

“You sure about that? Not even Superman?”

“Not unless Superman can get me in the same room as Batman.”

“Why’s it so important that you meet him in person?”

“It’s personal.”

Jim liked this less and less by the minute. “Do your parents know you’re here?”

Danny looked away but right when it looked like he wouldn’t say anything he mumbled. “They wouldn’t care anyway.”

After another moment to give the kid time to reconsider, Jim pulled out the Bat-phone. It was a normal Wayne-Tech cell phone, but Jim had been given very specific instructions on how and when to use it. The phone listed all the Gotham Vigilantes without visible numbers so they couldn’t be copied and handed out. He pressed the one for Batman.

“Stand outside, would you?” The kid gave him a look, but followed the request. Jim could see his shadow in the door’s window, not so subtle eavesdropping.

It rang a few times, and Jim sat there awkwardly with a teenager listening to his every move. Finally, a familiar voice picked up the other end of the line. “Commissioner Gordon.”

“Sorry to call you out of the blue Batman, but I’ve got a kid here who needs your help.”

“Who?”

“Says his name is Danny, that you’ve never met him but you’re the only one who can help him.”

“Why?”

“Refuses to tell me.”

“What’s your best guess, Commissioner?”

Jim looked at Danny’s shadow, it looked like he was straining his ears to try and hear what he was saying. Danny had given him almost nothing to work with. Just his name, that he’s never met Batman but needs to talk with him in person. But Jim was here because he listened to his gut. A feeling like when you see a random rock on your neighbor’s doorstep but you’d never go in without an invitation. A feeling like you know what’s in the present and are preparing your surprised face. A feeling like when you cheated on your wife and you know she knows.

“He looks like Bruce Wayne.”

A beat of silence. “What?”

“Danny looks exactly like Bruce when he was a teenager. Exactly the same.” Jim hoped Batman would get it, feel in his gut what Jim felt.

“And he wont say why he’s there?”

“No, and he demands to see you in person.”

“I’ll be there in an hour.”

“10-4.” The line cut off before Jim had finished saying it. He called Danny in again. “He’s on his way.”

Danny glared at him. “If he’s not, if you called some social worker or something, you’ll regret it.”

“I’m sure.” Jim sighed and downed the rest of his now cold coffee.

The sun hadn’t set, but only just barely. Jim ended up taking Danny up to the roof in the end after all, if only to save his window from being broken into. The kid had a red hoodie on, but he was still shivering in the autumn chill and it was just going to get colder by the minute as the sun made its way behind the horizon.

Jim checked his watch and, at exactly an hour from when he called, he acted surprised when Batman and Robin appeared out of nowhere. “Bats.”

“Commissioner.” Batman greeted but his eyes went straight for Danny. “Danny, I assume.”

“Yeah, I…” Danny hesitated, looking at Jim and Robin.

All it took was four words from Batman. “What do you need?”

The kid held out his hand with a flash drive in it. “I’m your clone. My par- The people who made me wanted to make a stronger version of you, but they got ahead of themselves. My DNA is degrading and I’ll die if I don’t get your DNA to stabilize me.”

Holy cow.

“You don’t expect us to believe that, do you?” Robin sneered at him.

“The flash drive has all the info on it. All the data about the cloning process and the, uh, relevant experiments after that.” Batman gave the kid a look. “I didn’t want to waste time on unnecessary data.”

“If what you’re saying is true, why are you here, alone? Are they working on a different solution?”

Danny’s shoulders hiked up. “I’ve been a failure for a while now, I’m not worth the resources and they’d learn more from an autopsy.”

Oof, kid. Jim looked at Batman who seemed to feel the same… if Jim was reading him right.

“So, you wont object to a DNA test?” Robin asked with a cocky head tilt, at least he was relatively easy to read.

“You can try.” Danny said, and then realized what that sounded like. “I mean I wont stop you, but my DNA degrades faster outside my body. You’ll have to take me to whatever lab you plan on using.”

“Then we will.” Batman said and jerked his head towards where they’d probably parked that ridiculous car of his. But then he looked at Jim with a nod. “Commissioner.”

“Batman.” Jim returned the nod. “You’ll tell me how things turn out, yeah?”

“I’ll give you a report.” Batman joked – Jim could tell, it was gut feeling.

Guys, pls, someone write this. I didn’t know I needed this in my life, but now I’m desperate. The chaos! The world cannot handle that many Danny/Dani’s and I need to see it!

DPxDC crack prompt

All of the clones in the DCU are Danny and Dani.

They're immortal protector spirits, and clockwork has informed them of a dimension that is barely holding itself together. With all the multiversal threats, godlike beings vying for dominance, magical and demonic powers constantly at war, and idiot speedsters constantly screwing with the timeline, its a miracle that this reality hasnt already completely collapsed their corner of the metaverse.

This reality also has a lot of fruitloops playing god with cloning technology. Danny and dani come up with a plan: they're going to reincarnate as each and every last clone in this reality. At the end of each life they live, clockwork will pull them backward or forward in time as needed to reincarnate into the next clone. Yes, that means there are multiple reincarnations of danny and dani running around simultaneously. The siblings retain full memories, too.

Maybe they restrict themselves to clones that are programmed with no personality or to behave like robots (dont have unique souls) so we can still keep the likes of Kon or any other clone characters we want to leave unchanged.

Point is, everyone in the DCU has come to the conclusion that there is some sort of intrinsic universal law that the majority of clones, no matter who was cloned, will be requisitioned to some vast eldritch hivemind.

However, nobody figured that out until after several thousand clones had been created and a pattern of them waking up and immediately beating the crap out of their evil creators (the rare-but-not-nonexistant ambivalent/benevolent creators tended to get a free pass), getting in contact with another clone like they had their identities already memorized and set themselves up with (very professionally made) forged identities as random members of society. Some clones had even been rescued by other clones that should have had no clue to their existence, having been created by different underground organizations in separate hidden labs.

At least the hiveminded clones appear to be chaotic-good aligned, even if their constant meddling of justice league affairs is quite annoying.

Just the shanigans that are possible.

Batfam nervous cause they havent heard about anything regarding the league of assassins in months, only to find out that they've been overrun by damian clones that talia created to fight damian. They collectively went 'yeah, no' and yeeted ra's and talia into low orbit.

Cadmus creating an entire society of genetically modified clone-monster-slaves? They reach a critical threshold population, turn on the cadmus staff as one and devour them.

Tim tries to clone Kon and succeeds - only for said clone to slap him in the face and give him mandatory therapy.

The Worst Branch in the Country

The GIW knows Amity Park is a huge fraud. The “most haunted city in the US”, really? They’ve been checking the place out for decades with nary a peep aside from that couple of crazy scientists that moved into town around twenty years prior.

Because of this, the town became a punishment duty. One of their agents causes trouble? They get put in time out and sent to work for a while in Amity Park. Let those idiots chase after pointless rumors while the actually competent agents work with the more important ghosts. The reports back from the town get barely more than a cursory glance before getting tossed in the shredder.

…Which really came back to bite them when ghosts did actually start to show up, and they didn’t realize until after the Amity Park branch had royally screwed up the situation.

Fuck, they really hope this doesn’t start a war.

Optional DPxDC addition: they call in the Justice League Dark for help with negotiation and taking down their rogue members

so cute 🥰 Now I need one of Tim finding something of equivalence with Danny. Like, maybe Danny takes notes on the back of his blueprints while he works, and they start to be filled with things to tell Tim later, or something.

Love, Scribbled in the Margins

Tim keeps journals—pages filled with scattered thoughts, half-formed ideas, reminders hastily scribbled in the margins before they slip from his mind. His penmanship is erratic, sometimes neat, sometimes a barely legible scrawl. There’s no structure, no careful curation—just the unfiltered chaos of his thoughts, poured onto the pages with reckless honesty.

Danny finds them everywhere.

There’s one on Tim’s desk, filled with quick notes and unfinished sketches. Another by the bed, pages warped from where Tim has knocked over his coffee more than once. One tucked into his jacket, carried with him wherever he goes. And when Danny opens them, he finds something unexpected.

Not plans for patrols. Not mission reports or Gotham’s latest conspiracies.

No, these journals are something else. Something just for Danny.

There are messy, hurried notes—things Tim meant to tell him but hadn’t yet, thoughts that slipped his mind in the rush of the day. Scattered reminders: Tell Danny about the ghost dog that stole my sandwich. Ask Danny if ectoplasm works the same way as Lazarus water. Danny likes lemon biscuits. Find a good recipe?

There are doodles, too. Little sketches of Danny in the margins, some more detailed than others. A rough, unfinished one of him asleep on the couch, another of his hands, a quick, cartoonish scribble of Danny sticking his tongue out with the words annoying boyfriend scrawled underneath.

It’s messy. It’s chaotic. And it’s so Tim.

Danny had always imagined love as something poetic, something grand and beautiful, the kind of thing written in sweeping verses that promised forever. The kind of love you read about in stories, in letters written with elegant penmanship, every word crafted with care.

Tim’s love isn’t like that. It isn’t neatly composed or carefully written.

It’s raw. It’s real. It’s a thousand little moments captured in ink-stained fingers and smudged notes. It’s love scribbled into the corners of his life, unpolished and unfiltered.

And Danny? Danny wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Because love, he realizes, isn’t always the kind you find in poetry. Sometimes, it’s a journal filled with half-finished thoughts and silly drawings. Sometimes, it’s a name written absentmindedly in the corner of a page, over and over again. Sometimes, it’s as simple as a note that says, Thinking of you.

Love doesn’t have to be perfect to be real. It doesn’t have to be grand to mean everything.

And like honey pulled straight from the comb, love is sweetest when it’s raw.

this is definitely how I originally imagined it from the main post, but the “twins” Au version of this story is also really. I’m eagerly awaiting the next part, and hoping for Clark to show up soon. 👀☺️

There's something falling from the sky, and Clark, Kon, and Kara are all off planet. Martha prepares as best as she can.

Because it looks like it's making a beeline for her fields.

She has no idea what makes her fields such a magnet for this, but she's certain it's not an asteroid. She couldn't say how she knows, just that she does.

It looks like a ship of some sort, with blinking lights and reflective surfaces.

She's debating on whether or not to sound the alarm and call one of Clark's friends, since she doesn't know if this alien will be friendly or not, when she notices something.

That ship isn't coming in smooth.

It is, in fact, tearing itself apart the lower it gets.

Then, with a final, ear piercing boom, it completely shatters.

Martha's eye is drawn to a rather round piece that broke off and shot towards the very edge of her property.

She doesn't call one of Clark's friends.

She gets the first aid kit and gets in the truck.

~~~~~~

Dan is flying the Specter Speeder through the Infinite Realms, an unconscious Danny on the floor of it behind him.

The twerp's injured.

He can't treat him.

He has to outrun the GIW and their own Speeders.

In desperation, he does a hard turn right into a temporary portal. The kind that blinks out of existence almost as soon as they get made.

He appears in the exosphere of another Earth.

No GIW Speeder follows him, but he's got a new problem; this thing isn't meant for the force re-entering Earth's atmosphere will put on it.

He puts it on autopilot, ordering it to find an empty area with good Ley Lines, and turns to start arranging both himself and Danny into the escape pod.

He can't activate it, or it'll also be subjected to the forces currently tearing the Speeder apart.

He'll have to stay in the pod, shielding his clone/twin as best as he can, while they hurtle towards Earth.

The last thing he remembers is the pod breaking away from the Speeder and hitting the ground.

The next thing he knows, he's waking up on the floor of a farmhouse, covered in bandages.