The Axolotl: "Now, There'll Be No More Interruptions, Distractions, Or Side Plots. Bill Cipher, Is There

Greetings, fellow Star Falls fans! If you enjoyed this fanfic by @ameluvs , then please check out the rest of their blog. They write excellent fanfics and have wrote another one for the AU, as well.

Deity! Bill and Dr. Stanford Pines.

I stare silently at my muse, he is so beautiful… so perfect. Yet he also seemed… tired. He never spoke of his past like the very thought pained him. I tried not to pry but I was also intrigued by him… I mean it’s part of research right? It’s part of the contract, surely it’s not that big a deal to ask, he knows a lot.

“You know a human from my past taught me two things.” He says suddenly, I meet his gaze evenly, seeing that normally composed stare as something other than that startled me. I couldn’t put a name on it… or maybe I did… I just didn’t believe it because it was gone when I blinked.

“To never let any human see that they got to me.” He says, like he could hear me asking what. He turns his gaze up to the star filled sky, it was as though the stars kissed his face; his cheeks dusted in them for a brief moment before they were replaced again with the natural bricks. I shake my head and prompt him to continue,

“And two…?”

He was quiet for a beat or two, his voice now laced with barely there frustration, “You all have and always will see me as just a deity, the earth’s protector and guardian of dreams…” the faintest form of a smile reaches his lips at the last statement before it falls as he continues, “the last time I tried to be something different…” a haunted look crosses his features as he trails off, “there’s no point in being anything different than what I was made for.”

He brings his gaze away from the stars, like it hurt him to continue looking at them. I wanted to say something, I tried to, standing to my feet and reaching my hand out to him; his eyes widened ever so slightly at the sight of the gesture before he turns away from me.

“Good night Stanford.”

Good evening everyone! This AU belongs to @fazfuri go check out their work and I hope you enjoyed!! I’ll definitely be writing more! 🩵

Doof: "You see Perry The Platypus, about a few weeks ago I entered The Tumblr Sexyman Showdown. It's a contest for only the sexiest of men-- now now, Perry the Platypus, before you roll your eyes at me, it's not the conventional kind of sexy, no, no! It's the pathetic, the silly, the unconventional! Only for the acquired tastes. Like me~!! So I joined in, and you wouldn't believe it! I plowed through the competition! Bracket after bracket, I dominated the votes. That is, until the final round... when I was put up against Stanley Pines of someplace called 'Gravity Falls'-- for some reason, even though he claimed to come from a place called Gravity Falls and I come from the Tri-State Area, the competition listed me to come from someplace called 'Phineas and Ferb', and I have no idea where that is or who those people are--I was kicked to the curb! He won by a landslide! Well, not literally though, that's a metaphor--that's how Bill Cipher won against Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians, and I KNOW that place doesn't exist--b-but anyway, Stanley won and I only got second. And it doesn't make any sense! Sure, Stanley is similar to what the true Sexyman is, but he's not the greatest! For one thing, he's not that pathetic--jeez, if anyone is the most pathetic here, it's me! He's not that tragic-backstory-able, or anything, he--and worse yet, he's HOT! I mean, he's not that much of an acquired taste! Sure, he's older, but that's it!! Clearly, the people are biased! Which is why I made...THIS!"

Doof: "BEHOLD! THE UNHANDSOME-INATOR!!!!"

Doof: "With this, I can make anyone ugly--so ugly that their ugliness is JUUUST too ugly to be a Tumblr Sexyman! But too handsome to be truly ugly...and I can also tweak it to make myself just a little more handsome, hehe! With this, I will make the ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA Sexyman ugly, and shoot myself so I will be the most acquired-taste-handsome out of all of them, winning the love of all of the TRI-STATE AREA, AND ENACTING MY REVENGE AGAINST THE TUMBLR SEXYMAN CONTEST!!!"

Doof: "--Or wait, come to think of it, this isn't really revenge, I mean, the contest's over and it won't come back until next year so this scheme prooobably should've been postponed until then... not to mention this inator isn't exactly that tweaked, it's a rushed job has some...ahaha...side effects...unless I CRANK UP THE RANGE OF THE INATOR!"

Doof: "Yes, Perry The Platypus, I will become the most tumblr-sexyman handsome by proxy in all of the tri-state area AND GRAVITY FALLS, OREGON!!!"

| Meanwhile In Gravity Falls |

*Stan, reading the paper, suddenly looks up.*

Stan: "Something just happened."

*beat*

Stan: "...Eh. Who cares. Worse has happened in this town. It's probably the heebie jeebies from that German guy from a couple days ago, eugh."

Stan: "Worth it for the prize money, though. I'm still the sexiest man on all of Tumblr! Ahaha!"

*beat*

Stan, still grinning: "...whatever that is."

*A beat. Then the door to the Mystery Shack slams open. It's Ford.*

Ford: "Stanley! I'm back!"

Stanley: "Hey, sixer. Back from another one of your little adventures?"

Ford: "I suppose you could call it that! Ever been to the tri-state area? There are hundreds of anomalies there! Did you know that all the platypuses are teal there?"

Stanley: "Yeah, yeah...well, make sure to tell me later. I'm reading the paper."

Ford: "Well, don't get too absorbed. We're going to Italy tomorrow, remember? We're visiting the Vatican! Lots of great things to explore there! We might even see the pope!"

I was going to create my own EPIC: The Musical x Gravity Falls AU if I couldn't find anything on Tumblr and name it "Epic Falls". Seems like the name was already taken, but at least someone is taking advantage of the potential for the crossover. This is really neat!

You are a Warrior of the Mind...

Don't disappoint me

More on the AU under cut!

I've finally more or less figured out how Epic Falls is gonna go! Everything I make for this au is probably not gonna be a fully finished piece, I just had an itch thinking about Ford and Bill in this AU

In this AU, Ford, Stan and Shermie are all sent to fight in the war, through a series of misunderstandings and accidents and more than a little intervention by a certain demon to get Ford out of Ithaca

Shermie was the heir, being the oldest, but he figured Ford would be a better ruler than him anyway, Stan was actually sent to war by King Filbrick in order to ensure Ford would be next in line after Shermie, and Ford got a very odd dream that convinced him he needed to prove himself to his kingdom by winning the war for Ithaca. Little did he know Shermie was also leaving... (for more info you could look at the epic falls tag!!)

ANYWAY, Ford and Bill. Wow are these guys interesting.

Ford basically treated Bill as one of his only friends, his muse, and Bill convinced him that he needed Bills help to win the war. It's only once he break the deal with Bill and properly lets his brothers in on the warplanning that they pull a Trojan Horse and win the war. (The actual reasoning for the war in this au is... under progress)

Bill, angered by Ford's insolence and him breaking the deal, acts as nearly all the gods in this AU, taking the place of Athena, Zeus in Thunder Bringer, and Posiedon (Bills goal in this AU is to rid Ithaca of all of its heirs, and he has his own ulterior motives for that. Getting into his character is gonna be a blast guys, trust) (all of which has IMPLICATIONS for 'We'll be Fine')

No idea what you're supposed to do for this, but oh well. 🤷‍♀️

(Apologies for sending this strange abomination to all of you)

@ameluvs @kat-reich-4222000 @pickledoesthetumbling

All of you have spent hours fixated on a particular project that you're passionate about.

...

And maybe need to touch grass—

(This is a joke, please don't hate me 😥)

yes, i am doing this again.

mutuals + other people, rb this with a hyper-specific “headcanon” of the person who tagged you

idk who to do so i’ll just tag some people to get it started

@arijaiscool, @glitch-studios, @microraptorhours, @sykatz, @4rielle, @frankiefridayyy

all tags are no pressure ofc

Oh my gosh!!!!! You're a fan of the fic "Stan Overboard" too?! 🤩

Uh—

*clears throat*

I mean, don't mind me. I'll just be obsessing over that tidbit of learned information to myself in the corner like Dipper over the journals.

When it comes to regular tabs, I usually only have one open (Netflix) because I close out all of my other tabs when I'm done using them, since having too many takes up storage space and slows down my device. It's also just, in general, too chaotic and messy for me, so I only keep open that one tab.

For Samsung Internet, I have two tabs: The Monster High Dolls website (dolls are one of my special interests) and an analysis essay on the character writing of a season of PreCure. I love analysis essays.

No pressure tags:

@aroace-get-out-of-my-face @pickledoesthetumbling

Does anyone want to play a little game?

It's called "how many open tabs do you have on your phone"

I'm gonna start: 393 tabs in chrome...

Most of it are Ao3 tabs and Tumblr Masters-Posts to various intriguing/ interesting AUs

I'm gonna tag someone bc I want to, but anyone feel free to reblog and play along...

or ignore it... @majoringinfanfiction ...?

Bill: "Make a deal with me, and I'll give you ten bucks~!"

Stan: "Oh, boy! Ten bucks!"

Ford: "No, Stan! Your soul is worth more than ten bucks."

Stan: "Hey, you're right!"

...

Stan: "Make it twenty."

(Incorrect Quote is sourced from the episode "Sweater Off Dead" of the series "The Cuphead Show".)

Guess who's going to see "Legally Blonde the Musical" today? 🥳

Bill Cipher: "Did you know you talk in your sleep? Tell me, though, who's 'Fiddleford'?"

Ford: "He's my closest friend."

...

Bill: "ANYWAYS—"

(Incorrect Quote sourced from the EPIC song "Love in Paradise")

*Bill floats beside Ford, whom is suspended in the air by blue chains, and places his hand on the edge of one of his bricks. He then extends it out from his body and takes out a pile of notecards from within it — as if the brick was merely an open drawer rather an actual part of himself*

Bill: "Now, the revenge monologue I've been plotting for thirty years: 'To my most hated nemesis...' That's you. '...As you know, you kept trapped me within the Nightmare Realm by refusing to open the portal, where I've been biding my time, devising your delicious downfall. In conclusion—'"

*Bill cuts off unexpectedly, squinting his eye down at the cards as he shuffles through them. Ford watches with the most deadpan face*

Bill: "Wait. These are out of order. Hold on. Hold on! Don't roll your eye at me! I'VE BEEN TRAPPED FOR THIRTY YEARS! I'm entitled to a full minute of gloating! I will make you watch as I destroy everything you've ever loved, starting with your precious little town!"

Bill: ...

Ford: ...

Bill: "Ooh, that's good. Got a pen?"

(Incorrect Quote sourced from the episode "The Shadow War Part ||: The Day of the Ducks!" of the Disney series "Ducktales (2017)".)

Stanford Pines: "Life lesson, kids: adventuring is tough. Ya know, sometimes there's a cursed muse that turns out to be a demon."

*Attempts to fix an issue with the Quantum Destabilizer with a tool*

"Or sometimes you get sucked into a portal and TRY to stay alive, but a one-eyed triangle messes EVERYTHING up, keeping you here while your grand-niece and nephew grow up with their grand-uncles—"

*The tool snaps in half from the fast, tense movements, and he grits his teeth; holding the object up to inspect it disapprovingly*

"But you still got your health, a 'cool' metal plate, and tattoos that mock you every time you dare to undress!"

(Incorrect Quote sourced from the episode "What Ever Happened to Della Duck?!" of the Disney series "Ducktales (2017)".)