*Bill Floats Beside Ford, Whom Is Suspended In The Air By Blue Chains, And Places His Hand On The Edge

A Game of Pretend

Prologue

Ford was a fraud of a muse that wanted to use him to accomplish...whatever corrupt plans he had. Bill was aware of this from the start in an instinctual way he couldn't quite place his finger on. The routine felt familiar to him, as if it was something he was destined to experience, and yet so distant at the same time. Like he had only been left with a phantom whisp of a trace to go off and use in picking up the pieces. Off.

Not that he'd never met some scheming, manipulative puppeteer who attempted (emphasis on attempt; he was no easy target) to trick and exploit him before— No, Bill was well equipped with the type and how to handle them. It was just that this time felt... different.

...

He wasn't sure what to think about that.

...

So, he wouldn't.

Ford claimed to be a benevolent god bestowing wisdom upon those living their lives in ignorance. Clearing the fog that blinded their eyes and enlightening them with knowledge previously beyond their comprehension. A muse.

What he wouldn't say was that he was liar who was barely managing to hide his ulterior motives with every breath he took. Bill didn't care nearly enough to tell the guy, though. He'd let him have his fun as long the egomaniac got the memo that the painter wasn't interested in whatever con he was selling and left to go pester the next potential puppet. After all, he was a busy guy! He had perspectives to shatter with his breathtaking — totally original — art; stars to gaze at; etcetera, etcetera. You get the idea.

As he had previously stated (and was proud to declare), he knew how to deal with scumbags like these: Beings striving to play the long game to reel you in to a false sense of security where all they have to do to pull the strings is a simple lift of a finger, and — BAM! — they have someone, either entirely out of their will or out of pressure, capable of doing their bidding.

It never got to that part for Bill, though. He wasn't one to brag (he very much was so, depending on who he was talking to), but he had a natural talent for spotting out shapes — and more — like them. He stopped them before they even had the chance to play their games. He learned the best tip was to ignore them. It usually took a while, sure, since they were persistent to get their way, but as long as you were as well, they would give up.

So, that was what he had decided to do with the confusing higher being. Any attempts at conversation from his behalf would be met with utter silence from the Euclidean triangle, whom acted like he couldn't see him. That's how most of their interactions were...in the beginning.

Hey! A shape could only be so patient before something — or someone — got on their nerves! So, eventually, Bill snapped. He started yelling at the six-fingered person, cursing him out. This only seemed to amuse the supposedly 'superior' being, though, which got on the painter's nerves more. He acted oh so better and greater, all because he could float and do...er...other things Bill couldn't remember at the moment.

In the end, he caved in to the god's desires, deciding that his irritating efforts would diminish if the triangle played along ever the slightest bit.

They began to hold genuine conversations where they learned about one another. Ford began to seem less like some far-away, untouchable being who was created into existence just to annoy him, and more like an actual person with feelings and thoughts. Who knew! And — here's the real kicker — Bill was starting to like him.

Behind that arrogant, all-powerful persona was someone who listened to him, emphasizing, understanding. He truly was intelligent and shared ideas that the painter would have never considered on his own. They taught each other things, and instantly developed a kind of chemistry and dymanic that only that one person can create with you. He was funny, charming, charismatic...

...

But, still manipulative. Still trying to rope Bill into becoming some kind of puppet he could utilize for whatever plots he has in mind. He hadn't forgotten that, nor did Ford get any better at masking it.

He knew that he should cut him off, stop things now before they began to spiral into something worse he couldn't return from. But, he was hesitant to because Ford was the only other person capable of understanding him. Because Ford filled that gaping ache of missing companship. Because he was so starved for any other kind of connection he could have after a childhood of being alone, outcasted by his society for being different. Because Ford was the only other person who was just as much of a freak as him. Because Ford could not only tolerate his weirdness, but even like it. Because Ford was the only other person who knew what was like to see the stars...

...

He didn't want to lose that. Didn't want to lose his muse who showed him wonderful things he never dreamed of seeing before. Didn't want to lose his love.

And, besides, he was curious to find out what Ford's plans were and his curiosity was one that was rarely left unfulfilled.

So, for the first time ever, Bill would entertain this manipulator. Allow himself to go along with whatever ulterior motives he has planned. Engage himself in a game of pretend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The "Euclydia Rises" AU was created by @orxinus . Thank you for reading! 💖

Next Chapter:

(Currently being worked on)

"Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to bed before you come up with another clever idea to get us killed, or worse — expelled!"

— A teenage Stanford Filbrick Pines, probably

(Incorrect Quote sourced from the book "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone".)

*Ford and Stan open the door to the Mystery Shack and step outside, exiting it*

Ford: "Now, all that stands between us and enjoying ourselves is—"

Bill: "YOUR OL' PAL AND OVERLORD, BILL CIPHER! MUAHAHAHA!"

*Ford flinches back as Bill shoves his face into his personal space, one hand of his grasping a flashlight which he flickers on-and-off as the other one waves up and down; gesturing madly*

Bill: "Zzzz—eerrk! Lightning! HAHAHA! "

*The flashlight then flickers off...permanently...leaving Bill to shake it furiously. The Axolotl walks up from behind him, wearing a white lab coat*

The Axolotl: "I cut his dramatic-entrance budget."

(Incorrect Quote sourced from the episode "Raiders of the Doomsday Vault!" of the series "Ducktales (2017)".)

I accidentally posted my unfinished final draft of the first chapter of my fanfic 😭💀I changed it to a private post and am going to have to continue editing it this way now. I don't know how that happened. I had it listed as a draft. Better than accidentally deleting it, I guess

Greetings, fellow Star Falls fans! If you enjoyed this fanfic by @ameluvs , then please check out the rest of their blog. They write excellent fanfics and have wrote another one for the AU, as well.

Deity! Bill and Dr. Stanford Pines.

I stare silently at my muse, he is so beautiful… so perfect. Yet he also seemed… tired. He never spoke of his past like the very thought pained him. I tried not to pry but I was also intrigued by him… I mean it’s part of research right? It’s part of the contract, surely it’s not that big a deal to ask, he knows a lot.

“You know a human from my past taught me two things.” He says suddenly, I meet his gaze evenly, seeing that normally composed stare as something other than that startled me. I couldn’t put a name on it… or maybe I did… I just didn’t believe it because it was gone when I blinked.

“To never let any human see that they got to me.” He says, like he could hear me asking what. He turns his gaze up to the star filled sky, it was as though the stars kissed his face; his cheeks dusted in them for a brief moment before they were replaced again with the natural bricks. I shake my head and prompt him to continue,

“And two…?”

He was quiet for a beat or two, his voice now laced with barely there frustration, “You all have and always will see me as just a deity, the earth’s protector and guardian of dreams…” the faintest form of a smile reaches his lips at the last statement before it falls as he continues, “the last time I tried to be something different…” a haunted look crosses his features as he trails off, “there’s no point in being anything different than what I was made for.”

He brings his gaze away from the stars, like it hurt him to continue looking at them. I wanted to say something, I tried to, standing to my feet and reaching my hand out to him; his eyes widened ever so slightly at the sight of the gesture before he turns away from me.

“Good night Stanford.”

Good evening everyone! This AU belongs to @fazfuri go check out their work and I hope you enjoyed!! I’ll definitely be writing more! 🩵

*The Pines Family (and Bill) are gathered together in the Mystery Shack's living room as Mabel attempts to teach a lesson about ethics using the infamous trolley problem. Bill is fixated on doodling on the paper he's holding*

Mabel: "Bill. You've been quiet. What do you think about this?"

Handyman Bill: "Well, obviously the dilemma is clear: How do you kill all six people?"

*He turns the paper he was drawing on around, so that the Pines can see it properly. It's a vivid depiction of bloodshed and massacre utilizing creative methods that only a psychopath could think of...which he is. Sparkly, red glitter is glued on to color and illustrate the blood rushing from the victims' wounds*

Bill: "Well, I would dangle a sharp blade out of a window to slice the neck of the guy on the other track as we swoosh our five main guys."

*He looks around expectantly only to be met with tired expressions, too used to this kind of mayhem*

Bill: "Oh... I did the thing again, didn't I?"

Mabel: "Yeah. Ten more more, buddy."

*She flips around the blackboard she had borrowed from Ford to use for her lesson to reveal hundreds of "People=Good" messages scribbled on the other side in chalk*

Bill: "People. Good. People... Why is that so hard to remember? "

(The "Handyman Bill AU" was created by @/LosanPostle and @/waty_mot on Twitter)

(Incorrect Quote sourced from the episode "The Trolley Problem" of the series "The Good Place".)

Mr. Ford Pines: "Do you believe in god?"

Deity Bill: "No! Stop talking."

Mr. Ford: "Once upon a time, mankind believed in god and had religion."

Deity: *sighs*

Mr. Ford: "They believed that things that cannot be solved by human strength are the will of god; believed that the entire universe revolved around the Earth; thought that the place that connected with the sky, which they could not dare to reach, was the place where the gods lived."

Deity: "That's just ridiculous."

Mr. Ford: "From the moment humanity left the universe, we all forgot god."

...

Mr. Ford: "But if belief in god is human. If all I can do as a human is to believe–"

Deity: "Why are you staring at me? "

Mr. Ford: "My god..."

Deity: "Hey — hey! Wait! "

Mr. Ford: "...My universe."

Deity: "Ah, go away! Ahhhh! "

("Star Falls" AU and artwork featured are created by @fazfuri )

(Incorrect Quote sourced from the Alien Stage Ivan & Till cover of the song "My Clematis".)

!!Check out my reblogged post of the one I made that came after this one, if you want to see the full panels in order!!

*Holly after showing up at Dr. Oddswell's house uninvited and unexpected demanding to meet the B-Bros in person*

Holly: "You said how I got your address?"

Bendy: ...

Boris: ...

Holly: "Don't you worry about that bro—"

(Credit for the amazing artwork and AU goes to @fazfuri )

(All credit for the AU and artwork used go to @fazfuri )

—This is an attempt to get the panels in order—

The Axolotl: "Now, there'll be no more interruptions, distractions, or side plots. Bill Cipher, is there anything further you'd like to say to the Court?"

*A piano, which was notably not there beforehand, is present with Bill sitting on its bench. He flexes his fingers before drifting them towards the white-and-black keys, playing the opening notes of a tune. He then turns to face the great amphibian expectantly*

The Axolotl: "Not in the form of a song."

*Bill's eye twitches in annoyance for a moment and he closes it to gain composure before opening it back up*

Bill: "I'm innocent."

The Axolotl: "Very well."

*They move to face the jury, opening their mouth for a second to speak before being immediately interrupted by a certain triangle continuing his statement while playing a melody on the piano*

Bill: "I'm so incredibly innocent that the word 'innocent ' should be written on my face. The 'i' would stand for 'I'm innocent.' The 'n' would stand for 'nothing wrong,' which is what I've done. The 'a' would stand for—"

Ford: "That's not how you spell 'innocent.'"

Bill: "I'm sure spelling doesn't count."

The Axolotl: "Spelling counts."

*Bill's eye scrunches in annoyance at the frilled god and he does his best to side-eye them with his singular eye before placing focus back on his piano*

Bill: "Well, then 'innocent' should be spelled 'B-I-L-L' because that is how I plead!"

*The keys got louder with the pronunciation of each letter and he finished off with a selection of sweet notes, nodding in showmanship*

(Incorrect Quote sourced from the episode "Penultimate Peril: Part 2" of the show "A Series of Unfortunate Events".)