I Know My Therapist Says Healing From Trauma Means Finding Little Ways To Feel In Control But I Think

i dont remember when i made this

obsessed with the idea that even when andrew and neil fight it’s glaringly obvious that they love each other very much

so for example after an argument neil leaves and slams the door behind him without a word but then he opens it back up again, says that he’ll be back and then slams it even louder. andrew pretends he doesn’t give a fuck but he silently appreciates it bc it means that neil hasn’t left left

or like andrew throwing neil out but not telling him to give back keys, bc a key is a home and he doesn’t want to take that away from neil. arguing but never throwing the word misunderstanding around. smashing dishes but not those favourite cups that were a gift from the foxes. pushing and probing and provoking but never breaking

I just think that both neil and andrew know each others’ softest spots and they could very easily destroy each other. but they don’t and they won’t bc they trust and respect each other way too much for that and I think that’s very beautiful

Til death do we part, hm?

happy pride month! being queer does not absolve you of your white privilege and now is not the time to be centering yourself! ACAB!

The Help (2011); Dir. Tate Tayler

bitch i don’t have a “dream job” i dream about living in a cottage making soap and painting titties. capitalism is a nightmare

You know what makes me sit in silence everytime i think about it?

The fact that Andrew was attracted to every version of Neil.

He thought he was hot when he still had his brown eyes/brown hair

He thought he was hot when he had blue eyes/brown hair

He thought he was hot when he had blue eyes/auburn hair and the number 4 tattooed under his eye. ”you are a pipe dream“ , he said, looking at Neils bruised and most honest self.

Then Baltimore. Neil got tortured. Got bruised all over his skin, scars that’ll never be forgotten and what does Andrew do? He asks yes or no and kisses his hip.

It sure af wasn’t love at first sight but the fact that his initial attraction never faded gives you a hint about what Neil is for Andrew.

(Not to mention how the versions of Neil changed the more Andrew learned about Neil as well. First he was Neil. Then he was Abram. Then he was Nathaniel. Until he finally became Neil Abram Josten.

All the lies. All the truths. It all came together and Andrew was there during all of it).

and if I start talking about Neil falling for Andrew the more he learned about him and the role he took over-

(Neil is there to protect the one who protects them all)

lil gods own country Andrew and Neil