I Don't Need Drugs, I've Got: Character Whose Arc Is About Reclaiming Their Identity And Autonomy And

A Baldur's Gate portrait inspired by the style of the Disco Elysium portraits. She looks away from the light, maybe because she is taught to do so, maybe because she feels like she does not deserve it. Talking to her is difficult, most of her memory is blank, as if she misses parts of herself.

He's never done anything wrong, ever, in his entire life, actually

Current mood:

Yes, that's poor Gale who fell into the lava and is melting.

Do plushies count as fanart? Anyway I made a replica of the puppy plushie from Violet Evergarden.

I signed up for an ao3 invite to incentivize myself to not be afraid in continuing my fanfic-writing journey. Maybe some of my writing will see the light of day after all, or maybe I'll just post snippets on here. I'm mostly writing for myself but it would be really cool if someone else read it but I'm also terrified of that. I've convinced myself that every other person on the planet is a better writer than me and I will be pelted with tomatoes if I ever post my own work. Currently trying to un-convince myself of that.

What does it say about me that I feel like having a brain that works the way Harry Du Bois' does would be cool and efficient?

Absolutely. As much as I love dramatic romance, I think there's a beautiful subtlety to Astarion's romance storyline. This slow-burn relationship where he only really, truly confesses his love with confidence after defeating Cazador would feel cheapened if he just suddenly flipped a switch into calling us his soulmate or something. Although I believe that he probably feels more strongly than he's willing to admit, as is typical of him. He's not exactly the best at putting his vulnerable feelings into words. I also *love* that, like you said, the playfulness in this comment of his shows a comfort and equality in the relationship. He's not a lovestruck puppy who worships the ground we walk on; he's an equal partner. That's important for any romance story, but especially his, I think.

I swear, this is why I love this game (and Astarion in particular) so much. We can sit here and talk about a single line of dialogue and pick apart all the layers. It's beautiful.

“What are we to you?”

“Nothing special, of course. You're only the first person who I truly care for.”

While this is not that perfectly quotable bon mot you can slap on a t-shirt, so far it's my personal favourite when it comes to spawn Astarion dialogues. (Still a few quests away from finishing the game, but slowly getting there!)

If the player hoped that after hours of hearing I don't know. But isn't it nice not to know? (which I also adore) they'll get something more definite and old-school romantic, they were wrong. (Well, maybe not wrong; the cemetery scene is still there, both touching and heartwrenching.)

What do we get instead? Astarion’s trademark sarcasm. A dramatic sigh followed by an annoyed Nothing special, of course. As in: Tav, do you really need to ask such stupid questions? Do you really need me to spell it out for you?

And I mean, casually calling your loved one ‘nothing special’ right into their face? If you can allow yourself a joke like this and you both laugh, you know you're in a place of comfort.

You're only the first person who I truly care for – yet, a confession follows, and again, I appreciate the just right mixture of quip, candour and informality. No lofty professions of undying love, thank the gods. Astarion’s body language is delicious, too. That motion as if he’s playfully tapping Tav on the arm? But I especially love the cheeky smile as he glances to the side. He’s such an adorable rascal during this dialogue.

The whole line is punctuated by Astarion clearing his throat. I’ve seen someone write it’s a telltale sign of him being genuine. Perhaps there's a tiny hint of self-consciousness, too, because he’s so much more used to all those fake, turgid pick-up lines.

No worries, Astarion, you're doing great. Please don't ever lose that smart mouth of yours.

Have I just written a small wall of text about a single line of dialogue? Quite possibly, yes.

Just a few of the many Disco Elysium quotes that have become a regular part of my vocabulary

Me while writing: oh hell yes this is such a good sentence I'm the master of poetic imagery

The writing when I go back to edit: