“Rebellions Are Built On Hope” -Rogue One

louis is going down as one of the characters of all time btw. there's something about characters who are so deeply repressed in every facet of their lives continuously fighting for happiness, yet ultimately unable to achieve that happiness because they've denied themselves for so long that they no longer know what they actually want vs what they've convinced themselves to chase.

and it's fascinating, because that's so clear in the way that louis conceptualizes happiness by fighting for the things previously denied to him; the spectre of his perceived failures as a human haunt him and preclude the possibility at any new lease on happiness in the future. he wants to buy the fairplay because he links success with respect, and respect with fulfillment: the idea that as soon as his (white) peers are forced to admit he's a better businessman than them, he'll be happy. except he isn't happy, because there is no goal post at which point they'll accept he's smarter or more capable than them, and so instead he's forced back into a game that will never fulfill him, no matter how powerful or capable he becomes.

and then he tries to build a family, tries to surround himself with people who he can care for and who he can have a positive impact on, building connections for himself and bringing meaning to his life. which also doesn't work, because he's simultaneously haunting and haunted by his human family, and there's no way for him to reconcile what he's lost with what he's gained. he wants grace, and he could have grace, but he's spent his entire life knowing that every facet of himself is unacceptable to society, that he can't admit what he is without also being condemned for it. and it doesn't matter that grace isn't society, that grace would accept him - he is, to his own mind, an unacceptable thing. to admit what he is out loud could only lead to catastrophe, because to think anything less is dangerous to the very principles that allow him to exist.

and so instead of having grace in his life, he has claudia. and he can love claudia and he can adore claudia, but he can not find a connection to humanity in her, because she isn't and doesn't want to be human. he has, in his quest to find meaning and connection with humanity, surrounded himself with monsters.

and then he has lestat. lestat who, for all his grandiosity and hedonism and theatricality, is just as festering a pool of repression as louis is. he's a person who can be anyone, so long as anyone is someone who is seen and adored and wanted, because to be wanted is to be happy.

and so you have louis, a man who can't admit what he wants, because admittance is vulnerability, and vulnerability is death; and you have lestat, a man who needs to be wanted, because if you aren't wanted you're abandoned, and abandonment is a fate worse than death.

and then they both try to get happy.

Just spent four hours looking for my earbud case :)

Today’s the day lads, ladies and legends(gnc)!!

Happy Destianniversary xoxox 💋

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Poor Eddie's too tired to use more than 30% of his brain

oh to one day live in a world that doesn't hinge on the whims of the united states of fucking america.

Ya'll.. I CAN'T WITH THIS MAN 💀💀

Yo, he's literally a teacher through and through 😭😭

I guess all we really needed is for Gojo to die so Gege can spoil us with much needed information 😭😔

a hua cheng to match a xie lian ~

something to be said about andor giving us two three-episode arcs to begin with and then just. not letting the ninth episode be a cathartic prison break. “ah, sorry, were you expecting something different to happen? no, you are going to keep sitting with the horror. and also these additional horrors.”

like that’s craft, there. they trained us to a rhythm so they could stutter-step it, drawing out the experience, a small mimicry of the interminable intolerable conditions of imprisonment & subjugation depicted in these episodes.

idk if it’s too soon to start talking seriously but MAN the way you can hear how their individual sounds of the past four years and also the ‘MCR’ sound have come back together and made something new ‘n really really good that’s also at the vertex of all the lines like can you understand that American rock band My Chemical Romance is BACK