Look, I’m Not Saying That Showing Thomas And James “adopting” Abigail Ashe Is Something The Show

Milk can trap mace irritants in your eyes

it’s best to use water. use clean water in a steady, diagonal stream from the inside of the corner (closest to your nose), blink a lot. it’s gonna hurt, but do it. you’ll cry too. that’s your eyes rinsing the irritants out. it’s just like the eye wash lecture you got in chemistry class- just keep washing and blinking and washing and blinking. Then get your clothes off ASAP, run them through the wash by themselves first, then again, then dry them

from my former correctional officer and current nurse father

Chronological Canon Compliant Rec List

For ‘A Meal to Remember’ fanfic appreciation event <3 A list of canon-compliant (and canon adjacent) fics!

Avoiding too many double-ups here so see the Loumand list for more Loumand-centric fic recs (plus a bingo card!)

Pre-IWTV Paris

To Pluck Gently At Strings (M) by @iwtvdramacd18 (Nicki x Armand in Paris!)

IWTV New Orleans

among the wildflowers (T) by ipsilateral (Pre-show, beautiful Louis character study)

all the blood involved in love (M) by @gayvampiredivorce (Ep 1, Louis’s memories of the early days of Lestat’s courtship)

the harrow, the tiller (E) by @baberainbowao3 (Ep 2, Louis's first night as a vampire, fever dream in the best way possible)

grab the rings of saturn (E) by verseau (Ep 2, Louis and Lestat consummate their marriage)

pietà by @enterprisery (Ep 3, Grace and grief)

Babyfather (T) by @nlbv (Ep 4, Louis character study, Claudia's first night in the coffin)

Bury Me Deep Inside Your Heart (E) by @prouvaireafterdark (Ep 4, coffin sex)

Roadkill (E) by @baberainbowao3 and @nlbv (Ep 4 era, a family trip to the circus, insane)

After the Storm (E) by Anonymous (Ep 6 reunion scene, mind the tags)

Scenes From a Marriage series (E) by @nlbv (Truly harrowing post-ep5 scenes, sex as character study, brilliantly written, they make me want to claw the wallpaper off the walls and sob)

Paris

ad infinitum (E) by peripheralaudio (adaption of the iconic tower scene)

vanishing point (E) (loumand motorcycle sex!) by @knifeeater

Interlude: Post-Paris, Pre-Dubai

Dirges (E) by @wordforworldisforest (iconic loumand work, has never left my brain, a seminal work)

Prey Drive (E) (unhinged loumand roleplay) by @iwtvdramacd18 and selfsame (E) (glory holes) by @vampdf aka insane loumand at its best

thy fearful symmetry (E) by mothmaiden (Daniel, Armand, and Louis threesome before the interview)

long live the car crash hearts (M) by exastris_scientia (Daniel and Louis crash a car)

a ghost is a memory (T) by @quensty + a memory is a ghost (regret, regret) (M) by @enterprisery (Daniel and Louis meetings remixed)

In a similar vein, middle aged Daniel getting re-seduced by Armand before being made to forget: Perfection (E) by @bandedbulbussnarfblat , i love you like an alcoholic (E) by @quensty and all i got left (is my bones) (E) by @enterprisery

Dubai

a memo from human resources by nestorius (human Rashid!)

And for every kind stranger , there is one who would break you (G) by ABigScaryBat (Armand watches Daniel sleep)

nothing but teeth series (G to M) by @gayvampiredivorce (series of oneshots and fics related to the interview, great character studies, written while the series was airing)

A trail of honey (M) by @butchybats (Armand and Daniel have sexual tension in the kitchen feat. a little knifeplay)

Grouse (T) by @iwtvdramacd18 (Louis eats a bird!) and Alluvium (E) (oral sex and geomorphology) by @knifeeater aka fics inspired by this piece of Pink's gorgeous art

out of cape cod tonight (E) by exastris_scientia (Armand and Daniel play mind games)

And he was mine (E) by watertiger (Louis and Daniel dance)

Post Season 1 Dubai

Lethe series (E) by @knifeeater (Daniel in the Loumand torture labyrinth of Dubai (where he belongs))

little kidnaps in the dark (M) by @gayvampiredivorce (Dubai trio longfic, phenomenal character work, plotting, and more!)

PLEASE TAKE NOTE OF WHAT THE HONG KONG PROTESTORS DID/WORE! THIS IS SERIOUS. THEY ARE AIMING FOR THE FACE.

They said you might come.

I want so desperately to go to swiftogeddon in Nottingham, but I have no swiftie friends. Does anyone else have this predicament?

I get the weirdest Deckerstar parallels in my head sometimes: Now, on Talk Like A Pirate Day, it’s Kermit as Captain Smollet for Chloe and Lucifer as Miss Piggy in Muppet Treasure Island. What is up with my brain?

I think I'm having my Robert Pattinson stage that I didn't have when I was 10 and I don't know how to feel about it?

Vean_ima