Milk Can Trap Mace Irritants In Your Eyes

If I have an A level in a foreign language, do I need to go to language school as an AU pair?

Me: I just think that if Leigh wanted to write a cautionary tale about a manipulative man who is beautiful but not as he seems, she should have made him a non-grisha prince like Nikolai. Because then you have someone who pretends to sympathize with the oppressed Grisha but is actually just exploiting them for his own gain which is a much more interesting commentary on society. And then Alina could have been the revolutionary trying to overthrow the system and help change things for the Grisha, opposed by a non-grisha who wants to control them. 

Instead, she makes the villain the one person actively fighting to improve things for the Grisha and ultimately gives Alina very little interest in the cause and makes the non-grisha characters nice and understanding and gives us a message of ‘you just need the nice people to be on the throne and then it will be fine’ which is a naive point of view. Its not about whether or not the Darkling is good, its about where she ultimately decided to place the villain in the story/world that bothers me.

Therapist: Can we please get back to your trauma.

They said you might come.

Chronological Canon Compliant Rec List

For ‘A Meal to Remember’ fanfic appreciation event <3 A list of canon-compliant (and canon adjacent) fics!

Avoiding too many double-ups here so see the Loumand list for more Loumand-centric fic recs (plus a bingo card!)

Pre-IWTV Paris

To Pluck Gently At Strings (M) by @iwtvdramacd18 (Nicki x Armand in Paris!)

IWTV New Orleans

among the wildflowers (T) by ipsilateral (Pre-show, beautiful Louis character study)

all the blood involved in love (M) by @gayvampiredivorce (Ep 1, Louis’s memories of the early days of Lestat’s courtship)

the harrow, the tiller (E) by @baberainbowao3 (Ep 2, Louis's first night as a vampire, fever dream in the best way possible)

grab the rings of saturn (E) by verseau (Ep 2, Louis and Lestat consummate their marriage)

pietà by @enterprisery (Ep 3, Grace and grief)

Babyfather (T) by @nlbv (Ep 4, Louis character study, Claudia's first night in the coffin)

Bury Me Deep Inside Your Heart (E) by @prouvaireafterdark (Ep 4, coffin sex)

Roadkill (E) by @baberainbowao3 and @nlbv (Ep 4 era, a family trip to the circus, insane)

After the Storm (E) by Anonymous (Ep 6 reunion scene, mind the tags)

Scenes From a Marriage series (E) by @nlbv (Truly harrowing post-ep5 scenes, sex as character study, brilliantly written, they make me want to claw the wallpaper off the walls and sob)

Paris

ad infinitum (E) by peripheralaudio (adaption of the iconic tower scene)

vanishing point (E) (loumand motorcycle sex!) by @knifeeater

Interlude: Post-Paris, Pre-Dubai

Dirges (E) by @wordforworldisforest (iconic loumand work, has never left my brain, a seminal work)

Prey Drive (E) (unhinged loumand roleplay) by @iwtvdramacd18 and selfsame (E) (glory holes) by @vampdf aka insane loumand at its best

thy fearful symmetry (E) by mothmaiden (Daniel, Armand, and Louis threesome before the interview)

long live the car crash hearts (M) by exastris_scientia (Daniel and Louis crash a car)

a ghost is a memory (T) by @quensty + a memory is a ghost (regret, regret) (M) by @enterprisery (Daniel and Louis meetings remixed)

In a similar vein, middle aged Daniel getting re-seduced by Armand before being made to forget: Perfection (E) by @bandedbulbussnarfblat , i love you like an alcoholic (E) by @quensty and all i got left (is my bones) (E) by @enterprisery

Dubai

a memo from human resources by nestorius (human Rashid!)

And for every kind stranger , there is one who would break you (G) by ABigScaryBat (Armand watches Daniel sleep)

nothing but teeth series (G to M) by @gayvampiredivorce (series of oneshots and fics related to the interview, great character studies, written while the series was airing)

A trail of honey (M) by @butchybats (Armand and Daniel have sexual tension in the kitchen feat. a little knifeplay)

Grouse (T) by @iwtvdramacd18 (Louis eats a bird!) and Alluvium (E) (oral sex and geomorphology) by @knifeeater aka fics inspired by this piece of Pink's gorgeous art

out of cape cod tonight (E) by exastris_scientia (Armand and Daniel play mind games)

And he was mine (E) by watertiger (Louis and Daniel dance)

Post Season 1 Dubai

Lethe series (E) by @knifeeater (Daniel in the Loumand torture labyrinth of Dubai (where he belongs))

little kidnaps in the dark (M) by @gayvampiredivorce (Dubai trio longfic, phenomenal character work, plotting, and more!)

I want so desperately to go to swiftogeddon in Nottingham, but I have no swiftie friends. Does anyone else have this predicament?

“She can’t be gay! She’s obsessed with men!”

The men:

i could never be allowed to time travel because i would try to introduce medieval peasants to scented candles and be executed as a vvitch

so systemic oppression and state-sanctioned witchhunts of grisha leads aleksander to create a sanctuary for other grisha but because of how shitty the world treats him, he drives off the moral event horizon and tries to gain more power and put a stop to the endless wars while the "good guys" show up at the last second and decide he's evil and must be killed but after they kill him things are worse for grisha and the wars continue and all the systemic issues that led to aleksander being the kind of man he was still exist so....wtf did they accomplish or even learn?

sexy man bad?

The police had been shooting them at protesters, reporters and medical teams

They are the ones inciting violence

Nothing describes Louis and Armand's relationship better than this-

Louis is completely lost in thought about why his life is such a mess

And all Armand's attention is paid only to Daniel

ㅤ

Their marriage is a mistake